Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 by 20 Comments

The Jurassic Park 3D poster is here! The Jurassic Park 3D poster is here! The Jurassic Park 3D poster is here! The Jurassic Park 3D poster is here BUT DON’T GET TOO EXCITED! Once again, the 3D release of one of the most exciting films of all time (yes?) has one of the most boring posters in cinema history. LET GO OF YOUR BUTTS! From First Showing:

Arriving in theaters next summer, as one of Universal’s tent-pole releases, is Jurassic Park. Yep, the 1993 dinosaur Steven Spielberg/Michael Crichton classic, but it has been digitally restored and will be re-released in 3D next April. The Jurassic Park Facebook page has unveiled this brand new poster for the release, featuring the iconic gigantic wooden doors re-stamped with a 3D logo (hey that’s not where it belongs!). This will definitely build interest, as it’s a rather flashy and showy design, but how many will actually be sold into seeing this in 3D? That’s yet to be seen.

Oh, I’ll tell you how many will be sold into seeing this in 3D based on this boring ass poster: ZERO. Luckily, though, it provides the perfect template to create a poster that’s totally #amped. Let’s amp this thing up!

Ok, so here’s what they should’ve went with:

Or possibly:

Easy enough. And they wonder why people aren’t going to the movies anymore. If you’d like to, please provide your amped up poster in the comments. If not I’ll assume you agree that mine is perfect. #AMPED

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Comments (20)
  1. topknot  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +11

    Here’s what they actually should’ve used:

    #AMPED

    Reply
  2. heimaey  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +8

    Didn’t scientists say this wasn’t possible recently? So whatever, I’ve lost interest!

    Reply
  3. Gobblegirl  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +9

    “The Jurassic Park Facebook page” – humanity’s tombstone.

    Reply
  4. catweazle  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +9

    Upvotes to anyone who Blingees this.

    Reply
  5. ptsmith_vt  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +2

    How about two posters?! They have the same image. Someone waiting in line to buy tickets to see this, and lurking in the corner is the hunter guy. One tagline is “Shooooot her!” and the other is “Clever girl.”

    Now, someone please improve on this crappy idea for me.

    Reply
  6. facetaco  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +18

    Does 3D mean I have to hold on to someone else’s butt?

    Reply
  7. lizzbobizz  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +8

    This was so important to me I created an account point this out:

    In what universe is April considered summer? I live in Texas and its already like 90 in April but we still call it spring! Ugh!

    Reply
  8. Matthew Schwartz  |   Posted on Nov 8th, 2012 +14

    “Hollywood was so preoccupied with whether or not they COULD, they didn’t stop to think if they SHOULD.” – Dr. Ian Malcolm

    Reply

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