We toss the term “your boyfriend” around a lot, but seriously, this guy is your boyfriend. When he gets out of jail, you guys are going to move in together and get totally in-love married.
He should team up with Tom Sizemore. No highlighter or bottle of margarita mix will be safe! Obviously, there’s nothing funny about a man who clearly has an alcohol problem turning to a life of crime out of desperation, only to fall repeatedly in ways that may cause permanent damage. But at the same time there is something kind of funny, you know? Whatever, if I have to go to jail, you’re coming with me. You probably want to go to jail. To be closer to your boyfriend. Which is this guy. (Via TruTV. Thanks for the tip, Caroline.)