
Tonight will bring with it the final presidential debate of 2012, focusing on foreign policy. News media report that after the last debate the polls show a DEAD HEAT between the President and Mitt Romney, which only sounds like some reality TV BS, where they’re going to cut to someone saying “I just don’t know” out of context, and then they show a clip of one of the more promising contestants with a stressed-out face that you just know is from 3 weeks before when they’re saying it’s from, but WHATEVER! It all comes down 2 this!!!! Tyra only has one photo in her hand and someone has to pack their knives because today they’re out! The Internet abounds with Presidential Debate drinking games (“drink always during it”), so let’s play a BNPG MOVIE GAME ABOUT IT! Final Presidential Debate Movies! Me first, then you.
- Left Behind: About Romney And What His Plan Would Have Been For The Troops In Iraq
- You Can Count On Me To Say Something Is Terrorism Immediately
- Foreign Policy Academy
- Romneyo + Libyaette
- Sophie’s Choice About Whom To Vote For
Whoa! I hope yours are better, good luck!
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Election. Do I win?
Yes, you’re now President of Videogum. Now, where’s my Videogum-assisted handout?
Gone With The Windbag
Zingers
10 Things I Hate About Your Politics
Malarkey Largo
Poll Bounce
The Day The Earth Stood Still Because We Were All Watching The Debate
Benghazi-Hur.
Idiocracy
Taggs of our Fathers
Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned To Stop Watching And Put On The Bears Game
Between that and Giants/Cardinals, who the hell will actually be watching this debate?
Game Se7en
Mormon on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
Barack, Interrupted
(Let Me Be) Clear and Present Danger
The
FrenchReal American ConnectionFalse Stories
Clockwork Orange You Glad It’s the Final Debate
Throw Obama From the Train
Let the Right One In
And the sequel: Let the Left One In
Ed Would Like This Election To Finally Be Over
The Nightmare Before Christmas!
Nightmare on Downing Street!
WAIT NO WRONG COUNTRY. This is what I get for living in England. I give up, Tim Burton theme.
Sweeney Tagg
I feel like there’s a good Mars Attacks! foreign policy joke here.
Vee Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
Romney + Juliet
When a
StrangerGallup Poll CallsWillard Scissorhands
Obama, Where Art Thou?
Too Much Country For Old Men
Raising Arizona’s Immigration Policy To A National Level
A Spurious Man
Daddy Day Obamacare
Who Will Own Air Force One?
Can’t hardly wait for this election to be over
The President, the Governor, and the Wardrobe.
All Dogs Go To Heaven (But Only After I’ve Strapped Them To The Roof Of A Car For A 12-Hour Ride)
Dog On The Roof Day Afternoon
Born In Kenya On The 4th Of July
Birther of a Nation?
You Got Served a Whole Bunch of Malarkey
Nonsense and sensibility
Start Wars
Who’s Ahead in Virginia, Wolf?
Ooooo! Nice!
Debate 1: The Baracky Horror Big No Show
VP Debate: To Kill a Mockingbiden
Debate 2: The Empire Points Back
Debate 3: Barack and Mitti Make a Porno
Mitt Romney in LEFT BEHIND.
Sorry, this guy is a nightmare. I have nothing.
To Shill a Mockingbird.
Liar Liar. (I think that movie pretty much sums it up)
One of those Romney sons in American Psycho… Josh? Tagg?
OMG I’m really sorry. This is scarier than the ice cream face.
Slogan’s Run
Five-Point Break
Fast Five-Point Plan
A Simple Five-Point Plan
An American Tale: Fievel Points Plan
Nailed it in five. Nice.
Five-el Goes West
I can’t think of anything funny to say. I hate Mitt Romney too much. Hate is a strong word, I know. My mom used to tell me that when I said I hated things that I didn’t really hate them, because hate was too much. And it is a strong word which is why I never use it. But I hate this self-satisfied, wannabe-crowd-pleasing, smirking, eyes-glistening-with-manufactured-compassion motherfucker. He is the opposite of everything that’s good in this universe and if you vote for him you’re a fucking Nazi.
I realize that I’m just a symptom of the bias that’s destroying the American political system, but it seems to me that there’s a stupid, delusional party that believes that anyone and everyone can make it if they really try, and then there’s the party that says, hey maybe not everyone can be president or Paul fucking Ryan pumping iron and maybe some people could use some help and maybe the Christian way would be to actually help them and not put into place tax breaks that would benefit corporations.
Everyone is created equal, sure, but not everyone gets to start from the same privileged point. Maybe compassion shouldn’t be doled out only to those who have so-called “earned” it. Maybe compassion should be the rule. Maybe look at the people who are hurting and fucking attend to them.
Your system is broken, America. The fact that you even allow someone like Romney such a vast public forum, and the fact that he even has a chance at defeating Obama…. Words are not enough. I can’t think of an expansive enough swear-word.
Cockmonkeydicklickingdonkeyfuckingdemocracy.
Hate.
Up here in Canada, we somehow managed to elect the Canadian version of Mitt Romney into a majority government a couple of years back (and when I say “we”, I mean 39% of the population voted for him — Democracy in action, folks!). He wasted no time throwing money at super-prisons and ridiculously expensive fighter jets, dismantling and de-funding the departments of anyone who dared disagree with him, and generally setting our country back about 50 years. Deeply disturbing right-wing lunacy isn’t just confined to America, unfortunately…
Wooooooops! That should have been in reply to Simon Spidermonk!
Swing State-ers