Step 1: Decide where to purchase your pumpkin. What’s the closest place? You might think that you want to go to whatever place has the “best” pumpkins, or maybe you think that you might even want to go to a pumpkin patch so you can take fun photos to show your friends online, but the correct plan would be to just go to the place closest to your home or apartment building. Remember: Pumpkins are heavy!!!!
Step 2: While out, buy bullets for your gun. (Will be explained later.)
Step 3: Push all nagging thoughts (both about reasons why you would do certain things, just in general, and about how certain pumpkin-carving tools are becoming not AS light-hearted in light of all the recent national tragedies upon recent national tragedies, not to get too unnecessarily heavy, we are only carving a pumpkin after all, but just saying) out of your mind.
Step 4: Get your webcam ready.

Step 5: Sit a distance that definitely seems too close to the pumpkin for the carving method you’ve chosen.
Step 6: Shoot the pumpkin with your gun.
Step 7: Settle for having the worst fucking pumpkin ever.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (Via LaughingSquid.)

Comments (26)
  1. Does he really not know how the “face on the back” happened? Seems disingenuous.

  2. I was prepared to be at least somewhat impressed by the marksmanship involved.

    But c’mon guy. At that range even a small child could carve a pumpkin with a pistol.

    This video is just a waste of bullets and internet space.

  3. Was he for real surprised that his giant gun bullets went all the way through a mostly hollow vegetable after shooting it from five feet away? Did he think the force from one inch of squash would be enough to slow down a fucking bullet and they would just collect inside with all the goo and seeds?

  4. You’d think he would’ve chosen something with a pump(kin)-action.

  5. This is remarkably similar to how the Swedish Chef makes doughnuts. I approve.

  6. This guy has no idea what he’s doing. If you’re going to use a gun to smash a pumpkin, you’d better make damn sure the bullet has butterfly wings.

  7. Great job on the Jack-O ; now try to impress me with the lantern part of the deal.

  8. I carved 4 pumpkins this weekend! I could have saved some serious time had I but know I could just shoot them instead.

  9. Reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer initially bought a gun for protection, but somewhere along the line he ended up taking the dangerously lazy route and started using it to shoot the tv in order to change the channel or to shatter the lightbulbs before bed.

  10. I think you guys are too cynical because I watched this video and fell in love.

  11. I bet this guy says things like “faggot” and “libertarian” a lot.

  12. How many single sons does he have you think?


  13. step 8 Pumpkin on head
    step 9 Dance

  14. He thought the other face on the back was its evil twin/alter ego. It wasn’t as angry as the front.

  15. i like that you get to have two faces

  16. I’m really looking forward to his “How to carve your Holiday turkey” video.

  17. These colors don’t seed!

  18. In the related videos there is a video(“Pumpkin Carving III”) where he shoots a pumpkin with an AK-47 w/ 75 round magazine, to similar effect. He is wearing the same clothes and makes the same “common household implement” joke! So this is literally the same video with a less impressive firearm and a slightly better pumpkin face.

    Pumpkin Carving IV is the Hangover II of pumpkin carving.

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