The movie theater lights go down. People stutteringly bring a premature end to their conversations, and there are a few bright flashes as cell phones are checked one last time before being ensconced in pockets. There’s a hum of anticipation in the air that is only amplified by the MPAA screen that attends each trailer like some kind of green lid on Pandora’s Box. What will this one hold? What brief and teasing glimpse will we have to some exotic adventure? Dare we even open it? This is the magic hour, although it only lasts 10 minutes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CREATIVE WRITING CLASS FOR ASSHOLES? Movie trailers, you guys:
This is a teaser trailer for the remake of Carrie starring Chloe Moretz. Next trailer please!
Sometimes things are born into existence in such a full and complete way that you cannot imagine how the world ever survived without them. For example the Internet. And running water. But mostly the Internet. And now we can add Werner Herzog as a Hollywood big budget movie villain to that list. Are you kidding me? How has this not been the case in every movie ever made? So great. (It is silly to pretend like “Military Police” is going to be a real thing that we are all fascinated by, but whatever, who cares, this movie looks great.)
Save the Date
OK-Dokey! This looks good. I like romantic comedies a lot, but I don’t like when it is like, “I threw a gypsie’s coin into the Spanish fountain and now I have to choose between a football player and his tycoon dad!” I also like the idea of movies about real people going through real situations except sometimes these days nothing actually happens in those movies and it’s just about two people sitting on a porch step talking about time travel or whatever. So this looks good! A grounded romantic comedy about people going through a real thing, and with that cast? Yes.
The Man With The Iron Fists
After all those years of making references to kung fu movies in their songs, rapper names, and album titles, it is nice to see the Wu Tang Klan dropping the charade and just going for what is real. You go get it, boys!
I can’t wait for the ’90s to be over so we can go back to superheroes just being superheroes and not being, like, mopey guys with identity crisis issues and/or teenagers with sewing machines and comic book fetishes but no actual powers. We get it, guys! You’ve deconstructed the mythology. Now get out of the way, because I want another taste of that sweet, sweet mythology!
The Great Gatsby
And Roger Ebert said videogames couldn’t be art!
Arrested Development Documentary