Imagine the most expensive cocktail you can. What’s in it? Tons of real diamonds that have been made edible through some sort of process, you don’t know what kind? The finger of the most beautiful celebrity on Earth? A frozen eyeball? A tiny little endangered animal that you would get to keep as a pet after you finished the drink and freed them? A $50000 gift certificate to every clothing store in the world? The secret to happiness and eternal youth, at least in your heart? A tiny house that eventually grows into a regular-sized house? A wedding ring that your boyfriend or girlfriend put in there to surprise you and then you accidentally drink it and then it cuts up your insides, so then you add in the cost of the emergency room bill and however long you had to stay in the hospital to recover? Whatever the most expensive food is, blended up with the second most expensive food? Megan Fox eyebrows? Special mini limes? ANY OF THOSE, WOULD YOU GUESS?

Nope. None of that. Just OLD ALCOHOL AND BITTERS. (Via BlameItOn.)

Comments (31)
  1. BITTERS IS ALCOHOL. Why does nobody understand that?! You can walk into most grocery stores and buy a bottle of bitters from the mixer section without needing an ID. IT IS LIKE 100 PROOF!

    • I will go out on a limb and guess that the Authorities are hoping high school kids will have their first drunk be on a bottle of Angostura, as this would cure them of all interest in alcohol for years to come.

    • Vanilla extract is like 40-50% abv. Ugh, so many kids in high school used to chug it to get drunk. The dumbest decisions.

      • I just had this conversation last week with a coworker! The idiots I grew up with did this and would get sick because (surprise surprise) the stuff that isn’t booze is pretty bad for you! Don’t drink extracts!!

      • I had a co-worker who had to go to rehab for chugging cough syrup. When the store stopped selling it to him, he got caught stealing it and drinking it in the bathroom there. He was in his 30s, and had been a cop before joining the Navy.

        On a sidenote, he was recently married, and since I was the only person he knew who lived near him, he asked me if I would go check on his wife while he was gone to make sure she didn’t need anything. I said I would, but I never did, because I had only met her once, and I wasn’t about to randomly knock on her door and be all “Hey, I hear your husband’s gonna be in rehab for a while, you need anything wink wink?”

        • You’d think if someone was going to resort to stealing, he’d just head back to regular old booze at that point. I mean, cough syrup sounds like a workable alternative if they won’t sell booze to you AND you’re concerned about potential legal consequences, but once they ban you from cough syrup as well, and your craving has led you to crime, you may as well go the full nine.

    • I turned 21 just before my friend, whose mom sent her out to get margarita salt for a family party. The store would not sell her the salt because it was margarita salt – ingredients: salt.

      I had to go pick it up for her and got carded.

  2. So I’m wondering, should I not propose to Kelly with the diamond ring in the champagne glass thing, or is it now OK to do so since she’s probably gonna be on the lookout for it?

  3. When does he put it in a blender with ice?

  4. Needs more red bull

  5. no gold schlaggers?

  6. this sounds like it would go great with the Beluga Sturgeon i’m having for dinner.

  7. Seriously, though. I would much rather the most expensive drink in the world be expensive because it’s super amazing and made of really rare ingredients than what super expensive drinks normally are, which is a regular expensive drink in a diamond chalice or whatever.

    • The ingredients, in case you want to make it at home:
      1778 Clos de Griffier Vieux Cognac
      1770 Kummel Liqueur
      Dubb Orange Curacao circa 1860
      2 dashes of Angostura Bitters circa 1900s.

      £5,500, which is like $8,800 in real money.

  8. I heard about this on the radio this morning and my first thought was, “They didn’t cheat like the guys with the chocolate pudding!” It is only served at a Playboy Club though, so maybe it comes with some creepy extras?

  9. Pocket like it’s hot, clearly.

  10. This sounds like it would be delicious if paired with some 40 year old Wisconsin Cheddar that was recently discovered tucked away in the cooler of an old cheese shop.

  11. glad everybody got pictures to remember this important day

  12. I bet those ice cubes are made from polar bear tears.

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