I’m still not sure what Katherine Chloe Cahoon IS, but her debut music video is obviously flawless. She is OUR generation’s Hype Williams! Terrible smooth jazz song that was neither written by nor features a performance from Katherine Chloe Cahoon herself? Check. Bizarre scene featuring a stationary private jet and a dropped suitcase for no reason? Check. Great hair acting? Check. Casual plug for her self-published book The Single Girl’s Guide To Dating European Men that suggests you can find the book in any bookstore even though you cannot find the book in any bookstore and also I don’t think the guy in this video is even supposed to be “European”? Check. Aggressive dancing all the time in a restaurant of all places? Check. Sexy piano dancing even though there is no actual piano in the song? Check. The world’s stiffest, violent and most disgusting kiss? DOUBLE CHECK. 35 seconds of silent end credits, as is standard in music videos? Check. But you don’t need a laundry list of all the ways in which the video is perfect. You have eyes in your head. Unless you poked them out. Uh oh! Did you poke them out? To shove in your ears? NURSE!