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Ugh. Kids. So dumb. No duh. NEWS AT ELEVEN! Hahahah. BREAKING. Here is the real news story, though: How is it even possible that kids are still daring each other to do things for a dollar anymore anyways? The New York Times should do a 14-week Pulitzer award winning series on THAT. You literally cannot buy a pack of gum for a dollar. Lick the entire subway railing for 10,000 holodiscs brought to you by UnderArmor? Maybe. But a dollar? The fuck out of here. PayPal it to me. I know the children are our future and we should teach them well and let them lead the way and show them all the beauty they possess inside and give them a sense of pride, but not if they keep it up. (Via Gothamist.)
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Do I post on this one or Kelly’s?!?! Is this some kind of test?
Ah, so Gabe wins out in the end. Congrats Gabe!
Cover-up!
The real question is, are they still making bets for a dollar because they were raised that way, or because it’s in their DNA? I think we should get to the bottom of this…
My favorite game ever in New York was to guess which diseases I would get if I drank that tepid water. Diphtheria, the plague, dysentery, some kind of intestine-destroying amoeba… Those were the easy ones. Anyway, my point is this: that kid is NOT our future because he will probably die soon. Either from one of the aforementioned diseases or from general stupidity. Or he IS our future but in some kind of Contagion-like dystopic hellscape.
OR he is are future in that he becomes our generation’s spider man after whatever radioactive contagions live on that handrail
OR he just inoculated himself from pretty much everything.
he is LEGEND
See, this is why I don’t want kids. They are disgusting.
Wait! Kellys post is gone now, but Gabes is here? Is this some inception totem thing? Are we all in limbo now? I don’t want to be murdered by Marion Cotillard.
I WANTED TO COMMENT IN DEFENSE OF MY HAT!!!
He can’t help it, his stupid hat puts stupid thoughts in his tiny kid head
his head looks big. it is the hat that is tiny…and squeezing the part of his brain that does the thinking.
Duh Aficionado Magazine: Kids are dead
My friend has 2 stepkids. We were looking up crafty stuff to do and found out how to make scratch cards, so we made “chore cards” where the kids do chores then they get to sratch their card and it tells them how much they get. But we were well into our third bottle of wine by then and so most of them are for 25 or 50 cents. They get soooo mad when they clean the entire batroom for a quarter, but then sometimes they get 10$ to take the recycling out so they keep on doing these awful chores for 25 cents. I’d say kids are dumb, but it’s the basic gambler’s dilemma so maybe just people are dumb? I forget what my point was.
So taking out your friend’s trash once could be worth $10? How do I get in on this action?
Something something something…encouraging kids to gamble…three bottles of wine…good times.
There, I fixed it for you.
tl;dr: I’m going to be an excellent parent.
Your summary is much better than mine.
Somehow I don’t think one dollar is going to cover the cost of treating the flesh-eating virus this kid is going to wake up with tomorrow.
Lol anyone else notice they are white?
those handrails always look so greezzzzy
white kids dont know shit about money. when i was 14 i bet my friend Wiley $20 he wouldn’t get a caricature drawn of himself masturbating. he did though. and i paid up. and that caricature artist got in trouble from the mom whose kid’s bar mitzvah it was.
Licking the railing is dumb, but so is not turning your iPhone sideways when you film a video!!!