Photos
Have you ever been hanging out with a human, having what you think is a generally “ok” time, when you realize that you have absolutely no idea how that human is feeling about the situation? “If only there were some way to discern how humans feel about things, some kind of change in their appearance — kind of like how you ALWAYS know when a dog is happy, because of how their tail wags? I guess I just wish humans had tails,” you always say. WELL I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU! Also I have some good news if, along with a wagging tail, you wish the tail humans had connected to your their brains and also told you the exact location where they felt whatever emotion they were feeling. It is your lucky day if these are things that you want!
Girlfriend: Why doesn’t your tail wag when you see me anymore?
Boyfriend: What?
Girlfriend: What do you mean “what”? We both wear these social networking tails. The first day we met we were wearing the tails and we’ve worn them every single day since then and yours no longer wags for me the way it used to.
Boyfriend: Oh, uh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s broken?
Girlfriend: YOU KNOW IT IS NOT BROKEN.
Boyfriend: Ok, ok! Jeeze!
Girlfriend: You aren’t happy anymore.
Boyfriend: I’m happy! I mean, I guess I’d say I’m more “content” than “happy,” but–
Girlfriend: I knew it.
Boyfriend: It’s not a bad thing!
Girlfriend: It feels like a bad thing.
Boyfriend: Listen, I love you. You know th–
Girlfriend: I don’t know what I know anymore.
Boyfriend: Don’t say that.
Girlfriend: My tail wags every single time I see you. I just don’t think–
Boyfriend: Don’t do this.
Girlfriend: I just don’t think I can be with someone whose tail that is somehow connected to their emotions in a way I don’t really understand doesn’t wag the same amount that mine does whenever we see each other.
Boyfriend: Listen, I’m sorry. I love you! My tail is wagging on the inside!
Girlfriend: Please don’t make this harder than it already is.
Boyfriend: Ok.
Girlfriend: I loved you. Goodbye.
Boyfriend: Goodbye.
Scene. (Via TheDailyWhat.)
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 DMX’s First Encounter With Google (And A Computer?) |  Other Ways To Keep People Quiet During Movie Screenings |  A Morning Of Conflicting Feelings |  Sleeping Beauty Art Installation Makes It Easy |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
It’s pretty great that she was scared of that dog. #irony
It really only works properly if you also get the insect antennae. The dog-nose attachment is pretty good at smelling so you know what to wag at, but the insect parts have better range and also a built-in compass.
This video freaked me out so much I had to use my ScreamBody.
OH MY GOD AND THEN THE PLAY FRISBEE FETCH ARE YOU JOKING
“Stop trying to make fetch happen.” -me, to these people.
“No. Throw the ball.” – my dog.
Evolution really screwed the pooch when it took away our tails. I’m glad technology can finally put that right. But, does this mean a major chair redesign? How do you sit down with that thing?
we should consult the .000000001% of the population that suffers from the rare, dreaded butt-penis syndrome.
you all laugh, but these will come in handy in the future when 100% of children have autism because of all those dirty vaccines.
“When I said I wanted to go to Japan to get some tail, this was NOT what I had in mind.”– Perverts
I feel like every comment I make will make me sound really old or Ron Paul levels of xenophobic. But this is weird and creepy. And lord help me if I start seeing status updates on stuff that made peoples’ fake tails wag…
It’s kind of a cool idea, if it weren’t for the wagging tail thing. If it were simply the “neural app” without the need to wear a dumb fake appendage it would be on a par with FourSquare or whatever. I’m guessing the “neural app” is basically a blood pressure monitor or something?
But then you’d end up with the problem where everyone can see you were happy/excited in John Q Adult Video Emporium or whatever. If they could make it anonymous, it would be neat. Like, 82% of people were very happy here. But then, you’d also end up with a crowd of unhappy people gravitating to the happy spots and sadding them up.
“Goddamn sad people, saddening up my Porn Emporium.” – some happy person who is now expressing rage and has to get the fur on the back of their back standing up attachment.
Yeah if it prompted you to approve it before you posted it online that would be better. It seems like their data would get polluted with a bunch of garbage immediately without some approval step, or maybe a prompt to add some additional info about why you were happy or scared or whatever.
If you just thought about your deceased relative while walking down the street, that’s not really got anything to do with the particular place you were standing at the time.
Yeah, if only they could make it a piece of jewelry, or something. Like a ring that changed colors!
Japan and furry stuff? That sounds like the beginning of a moderately racist joke.
Somebody’s been copying Mel Brooks.
http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/3875/5176064_2.jpg?v=8C704D86EDE8D50
http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/3875/5176064_2.jpg?v=8C704D86EDE8D50
I dunno about you guys, but I know my butt clenches when I’m happy. That’s how these work right?
Part 2 is them smelling each other’s assholes, right?
Does it make me racist that as soon as I read “brain controlled tail” and the video started I knew that the girl would be Japanese?