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If you’ve taken an English class, you’re probably aware that in folklore and medieval and renaissance writing, travelling into the forest is a theme often used to present a challenge for the hero to overcome in order to properly become the hero, or it’s a place where the hero can find weird stuff and fall in love with a fairy, or it’s, like, where Young Goodman Brown goes to challenge and eventually lose faith in his wife, religion, and community after stumbling upon a witch ceremony, spoiler alert, to later die a hopeless, lonely death. Sounds pretty good, right? “I should probably get around to going to a forest pretty soon,” you’re probably thinking. “Sounds neat!” Well, so sorry to yell at you so early in the morning, but NO, YOU ARE WRONG! DO NOT GO INTO THE FOREST! THERE ARE SCARY ROBOT DOGS IN THERE ALLOWED TO OPERATE UNDER THEIR HUMAN CREATORS’ ASSUMPTIONS THAT THEY WILL REMAIN UNDER OUR CONTROL! STAY AWAY, STAY AWAY, ALERT, ALERT, ALERT!
From NBCNews:
The U.S. military-funded robot dog program now has two electronic canines in training to haul gear for soldiers over rugged terrain. Each member of the pack is also 10 times quieter than its predecessor robot, which should make it easier to hold a conversation or sneak up on an enemy.
The Legged Squad Support System (LS3), as the Boston Dynamics’ AlphaDog robots are known, are being developed for the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) as a sort of an intelligent pack mule that won’t freak out when shots are fired or a mutt walks by on the other side of the hiking trail.
Right. You guys go in there with these robot beasts and expect them to carry your stuff for you while you chat and sneak up on enemies. I’ll be in my apartment looking for the dumbest video I can find and reading about whatever Kim Kardashian said today, WHERE IT’S SAFE. (Thanks for the tip, mom and dad.)
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The robot puprising has begun!
Listen, and understand. That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are leg-humped.
maybe it’s because both my jobs require me to spend every day with lots of dogs, but my immediate reaction was “aw look at their little marching paws, how adorable”.
I am so jealous of both of your jobs and I don’t even know what they are.
I wouldn’t be all that jealous. The jobs are Greyhound jockey and rabbit.
I am a full-time dogwalker/pet care provider (cat/bunny/small animal visits etc) and a part-time locally owned pet shop employee. Also i’m studying to be a dog trainer. All animals all the time.
I’ve never been happier that I can’t watch videos at work. Holy cow that still is terrifying.
Hound of the Baskervilles, anyone?
No thanks, my apartment doesn’t allow pets.
Holy Lord, I literally spent that entire video just repeating the word, “NO” to myself over and over again.
Still not as cool as Ghost from Game of Thrones.
Robin Hood has got to be freaking out right now. #welcometosherwood
Totally unrealistic depiction of dogs in a forest. I watched the whole video and saw absolutely no sniffing or marking of territory. #darpafail
Should have been called the Defense Electronics Research Program (DERP)
I thought they looked more like horses or donkeys? Maybe? How long do you think before they are weaponized?
Despite its name, they do describe it as ‘sort of an intelligent pack mule.’ I blame the marketers.
AlphaDog? Oh, nerds.
For some reason I really want to know what Steven Wright has to say about all this.
I used to like to say that Google would be this generation’s Skynet. Now I’m pretty convinced that it is in fact DARPA.