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Walt Disney is planning a reboot of the 1991 film The Rocketeer, which is actually the least offensive reboot I’ve ever heard of. That movie was a dud. I remember being so excited about that movie mostly because I think there was a very smart Burger King tie-in or something, and then it’s like, why is that steampunk man flying through that clothesline of laundry? (Right? Doesn’t he mostly just fly through some laundry? Like “Whoaoooooaoooo oh nooooooo!” and maybe there’s a baseball game? Ugh, The Rocketeer.) Am I supposed to think that is cool? Even in the ’90s, children didn’t think the ’30s were cool. But so, yeah, go ahead and remake it! I’m sure the children of 2014 will LOVE steampunk 1930s “superheroes” who wear leather jackets and bloomy trousers and make their own helmets out of a car or whatever. “We love it! Please RT!” The question now, of course, is the same question that it always is: who should play the Rocketeer?! The most obvious choice would be Jaden Smith because he already played the Karate Kid in the remake of The Karate Kid so he has a lot of experience with lead roles in reboots of ’80s and ’90s children’s classics. Other hot actors include Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, and Billy Zane. You can always go the stunt route and cast Jennifer Lawrence AS Katniss AS the Rocketeer. (Or Wanda Sykes. Double stunt. Wait, triple stunt?) But I think the most obvious choice to play the new Rocketeer and really get the kids excited is Iron Man. Kids love Iron Man! Just make the Rocketeer be Iron Man. Oh my God, they’ll FLIP! I’m not talking about Robert Downey Jr., either. I mean, he can be in the movie. He’s totally winning and fun. But I mean Iron Man. The robot. Put him in there. Open wide.
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Lindsay Lohan is said to in talks for a role. and Brett Ratner has his pitch meeting scheduled for this afternoon.
#Birdie4Rocketeer
Are we still doing this? Is Birdie ok? I haven’t heard anything in a while and I worry.
Based on the picture of the post, i’d have to go with Usain Bolt
This might be crazy, but what about Alf?
“Oy guvnahs, oy’ll have a bit of fun as the ol Racketeer, if yeh catch my meaning, eh ladies? eh ladies? I’ll have a bit of the ol Rack, eh?” Brussel Rand
Somewhere in San Fernando Valley, there’s a porn producer who is over the moon that his ship has come in twice in this life for buying the rights for The Cockateer in ’91 and not letting them lapse.
For your consideration:
I always know you’re going to suggest her, but I love waiting to see what picture you’re going to choose! LOVE TILDA!!!
And then he could also provide the soundtrack ala Labyrinth.
Wait, that’s Bowie not Tilda?
Oh that’s tilda, and it also proves my ‘Tilda Swinton Needs To Play David Bowie In The Inevitable Biopic And Also The Remake Of The Man Who Fell To Earth That We All Know Is Coming’ theory.
I would so love that. So very very much. Please ~!
For the record, I loved the Racketeer. But was it really popular enough to warrant a remake? I mean, I know we have to remake everything because there was a law passed, but if it didn’t make money the first time why are they putting the effort and money in for a round 2?
Post Script, I saw the new Total Rekall on the weekend and can I just say please don’t go see the new Total Rekall? Thanks.
Is it actually spelt Rekall with a k, because that sounds so 90s it makes my balls ache.
Total Rekallz Xtreme
what is the weather like in soviet russia this time of year?
because racketeering is a long term money making concept
Ha. I stand by my typo. Seeing a man in pouffy pants with a tin can on his head run around trying to extort money sounds like an excellent movie. Get on it, Hollywood!
This sounds like a much more fun movie. But who will play the racketeer? I see Mark Ruffalo, because he is excellent at being reluctant at doing awful things he has to do and funny about it at the same time, but he can also play a gruff jerk rather convincingly.
Or Birdie because she is a delight in high concept films and the idea of a dog-centric Racketeer is kind of wonderful. The pitch: “It would be like Space Buddies but mob-based and about shake downs.”
I hear Rob Schneider’s available.
¿ ¡ Really!?
It’s much easier to prevent a war than it is stopping it… so Mark Wahlberg (Now i’ve used up all my mark wahlberg coupons)
Gabe, I too was pissed about this when I was a kid. I thought the 30s were a drab and squaresville growing up. Obvy the late 50s and early 60s were cool because we said squaresville and listened to Ska and fought about who’d have been a mod or a rocker…OK…my suggestion…
Akin – because his beliefs are from the 30s GET IT???
I got a guy. He might be a little 2 dimensional though.
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Oh god I regret this immediately. I’m so sorry.
Never apologize for perfection.
The guy who created the Rocketeer comic (Dave Stevens) was a good guy. He based the character’s love interest on Bettie Page (she was played by Jennifer Connelly in the movie). He tracked down the elderly Bettie Page and helped arrange financial compensation to her from various publishers for the use of her image and reprints of her many glamor and pin-up photos (Wording by Wikipedia).
He died at age 52 of a rare form of leukemia.
Oof, Debbie Downer. How about The guy who played Hawkeye (in the Avengers movie, not Alan Alda, Though that would be a bold choice!)?
Wait, can we please scrap this entire idea and instead make a movie where Avengers Hawkeye (Renner) runs a racketeering business with his gay dads, MASH Hawkeyes Sutherland and Alda???
Let’s just make M*A*S*H, the movie. Hawkeye (Alan Alda, although to be fair Renner is pretty great, too) forever!
I hear you, but the movie version (the original) starred Donald Sutherland not Alan Alda.
The Rocketeer is an iconic character and all, but I remember always being bugged in the film where they establish that his fin acts as a rudder, so if he looks left or right he will fly that way. In the film it has him struggling to master this stupid ability.
Seriously, you can’t turn your head? Is being the Rocketeer akin to being at a dumb 3-D movie, where if you move your head at all the picture shifts and reminds you you’re in a dumb 3-D movie? So if something toward the outside fo your field of vision interests you, you can only look over there with your eyes, lest the image turn to garbage/you fly over there completely out of control?! I hate 3-D movies, you guys.
I hate the function of the Rocketeer’s helmet. I love the look of it, but I hated how it worked in the film.
The one single thing I can remember about that movie (which I believe I saw in the theater) is that Jennifer Connelly was in it, and was very pretty. This was extremely important to my tween self.
As a kid, The Rocketeer was always one of my top movie choices when my family went to the video store for some reason (I got outvoted a lot). I am not really sure why because I remember pretty much nothing about the movie; I DO remember being very offended though, when the store clerk got the cartoon Chipmucks version for me instead.
“Cool comment” — you guys
“Give me Billy Campbell, or give me nothing!” — my younger self
Every time we went to the video store when I was young I wanted to rent the Goonies but for some reason I thought it was called the Money Pit. And I must have had some sort of Memento disease as a kid, because I’d rent the Money Pit starring Tom Hanks and Shelley Long every week. I’ve seen the first hour of that movie more than any child should.
I love this story so much I’m going to start telling it as my own.
I also loved the heck out of the Rocketeer as a child…I re-watched it recently and found it really boring…
The Rocketeer is a period piece, so this should not be left in the hands of Americans. – Julian Fellowes
The Rocketeer is a very suave character. Two options come to mind:
How about we get Japanese American actor to play the part since that’s an interesting twist on the story and it be nice to see a non-white WWII superhero, since their not going to make a Isaiah Bradley movie anytime soon. Then again I really don’t care who’s under the helmet as long as they take down a zeppelin.
They do not have the video ANYWHERE! I looked. It took me like 5 months to learn the song…..
http://www.vivvo.net/forums/showthread.php?p=39166#post39166