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Dave Holmes here. Longtime Videogum fan, first time Guest Editor. If you know me at all, chances are it’s from something moderately embarrassing, so let’s just pretend we’re meeting each other for the first time right now. Hi! Fun party!
May I tell you how excited I am to be here? I am very excited to be here. Videogum has been a part of my daily routine for a long time, and it’s an honor to join the team. I’m a huge fan of Gabe’s sensible yet vicious writing, his shrewd curation skills, and the Semitic Jeremy Bloom thing he’s got going on. I think he has a formidable and hilarious partner in Kelly. But I love that when I scroll down to the comments section, I do not immediately want to throw my dog at my laptop. Y’all are an enthusiastic, intelligent and lively community. A credit to the internet! Am I buttering you up? I might be!
And okay fine, I’m not ashamed of everything I do. I appear in live shows all over the place, primarily here and here. I sometimes get to act, in things like “Reno 911!” and the upcoming movie “Hell Baby.” I recap musical reality shows for the wonderful Vulture. I have a little weekly news recap video series for Logo’s New Now Next. Like 74% of you, I’m writing a book based on a blog project I did recently. My daughters BrisLeigh and M’Lycyn are budding stars on the glitz-pageant circuit. A fun anagram for “David Holmes” is “Dads love him,” which is totally true. I am uncomfortable talking about myself.
This being Videogum, I should probably post a video here. Now, it’s going to be an oldie, but don’t worry about it. Today will not be a dreary field trip to the grim old Viral Video Museum. I just think it’s important to cultivate an appreciation for the classics, and there is nothing that makes me laugh harder than this video. So check it:
That second “he’s gay?” That flailing attempt at a stabilizing step that lands squarely on the same banana peel? You guys, that moment is where I live. Can you handle it?
Let’s have some fun today. We’ve earned it.
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Oh, screw you facetaco! Now I can’t unsee that!!
I dunno, I guess this gif is starting to grow on me a little. I didn’t see it in awhile, and kind of missed it. Good to see it’s okay.
This is just straight up mean.
This is just a ploy to get the most downvotes, isn’t it?
But FT has had the most downvotes. A lot. He doesn’t need anymore. You know what you did, FT. You know what you did.
Let’s all look at this instead…
Dumb dog. Dig, set, or spike the volleyball. Catching it is totally against the rules.
That’s pretty damn cute, though.
Facetaco, at this point, you are like my little brother who used to put his dirty bare feet on me randomly (while we were watching TV, in the car, waiting for the fireworks on the 4th of July, etc.) because he knew it would get a rise out of me. But you know, substitute feet for horrifying nightmare gif and me for VG.
At least this time it was thematically appropriate! That is DEFINITELY a hell baby!
That gif is never thematically appropriate. I think even in the pits of Hell, Satan and his minions think that gif is “a bit too much.”
I love this comment so much, I want to have a beer with it.
Oops! Sorry this pic is so big. But, you guys, our Vice President is on a beer cozy. That is seriously entertaining. And it’s sponsored by his people. This makes me laugh every day. Every. Day.
The comment loves you back and would be happy to go out for Biden beer anytime you’re free.
Wouldn’t it melt in hell though?
Oh thank jesus, we’ve hidden it. Good job team.
Facetaco, I love you man. We’re bros. But so help me god I will make you pay for this. Not on, man. Not on.
This kind of bothers me, but I’m still enjoying the calculus rap too much to care.
well I don’t see a problem with this gif at all! she’s made of ice cream and is enjoying her delicious self! look how happy she is! it just makes me smile, like really hard. so. I think I’ll just finish murdering this family I keep in the basement now. busy busy!
You know, I think what intrigues me most about this comment is that you think the ice cream hell baby is a “she.”
to me, WE ARE ALL SHE’S, and REALLY LIKE ICE CREAM
Ice cream hell baby is for sure a she.
However, she is not made of ice cream. I don’t know what that stuff is, but I don’t like it and I want it to go away.
I don’t know. Every time I click that GIF, I still see Cillian Murphy, answering the question of what happens 28 days later.
Related? I tried this ice cream and it was delicious. Gross viral video success!
By which I mean, not a scoop from the head of the ice cream hell baby, but presumable her body melted down and reformed in a large container from which a gentleman scooped me a scoop. Or maybe it was just her chopped off head in there, who knows?
That’s Dave Holmes? Of being beaten by that other guy on MTV semi-fame? THE Dave Holmes?
…..Hi Dave Holmes can I get your number real quick no reason.
Sorry Rara, Dave’s spoken for.
Hi Dave Holmes, I have definitely never confused you with Pete Holmes
And I’ve definitely never confused him with Sherlock Holmes.
I routinely confuse you with Pete Sherlock.
And I confuse you with Herman Cain.
Welcome, Dave! My name anagrams as “U R Ass Truck, U!” which is a totally logical sentence with perfect grammar and spelling, but pretty mean so please don’t yell it at me.
Mine anagrams to Frank Dolly Wrong. Shit! Wait.
Free Dish, J.
Aztec Weal
Hmm! True Soreness
gas hiel.
Odd Elf Ogre
Miss P. Monokinder
Be grill, Gob.
Abed Aids Jean
Willy T
Which is obviously the name of a biker bar along the Mississippi River. The bartender has a face tattoo.
guchs
the noise I make when someone says swag
Lever Con Mane is my name in an anagram. I’m sure it’s awesomely funny in another language, let’s say Swahili.
Pets him. And I do! I pet my avatar, Duke.
Men SARS
Not too shabby.
Yikes! That is wrong. Let’s go with… Sr. Ramen. Which should be pronounced Senor Ramen.
Chief Bean Shoplifter
Gay RV
Fingers crossed that Jesse Camp is guest editor tomorrow.
RIP
A little Birdie told me that it’s Pauly Shore
I can’t believe I was beaten to the Jesse Camp joke. Now I know how Dave Holmes must have felt when he lost to that jackass.
Ha. You just compared Lizzing to Jesse Camp. Next NY Monster meet-up is going to be sooooooooooooooooooooo awkward.
If someone brings it up to you in 2026, then you’ll know how I feel. (But it’s fine!)
I think I speak for all of us in saying, you should’ve won. But we’re glad you’re here too.
It all worked out okay. Thanks!
Hi Dave Holmes, I thought you were way better than Jesse Camp! AND you’re very handsome! WINK WINK
Thank you x2!
So from that picture, I’m assuming Dave, that you’ve either run a ton of races or marathons or just like to steal the numbers and awards from folks who do.
HE WAITS in the bushes and POUNCES! Seen that SHIT BEFORE. I’m WATCHING you, DAVE Holmes.
Hi Dave! Your buttering up is welcome and appreciated by this Monster.
I was gonna make a joke/reference but when I typed it out, I realized it was referring to Matt Pinfield.
So, welcome..?
Good thing you didn’t figure that out 120 Minutes later.
Dave, I have a marry/fuck/kill for you. Carson Daly, Jesse Camp, Matt Pinfield.*
*sorry, but I’m drawing a total blank on MTV ladies of your era
Kennedy, Tabitha Soren, Jesse Camp
I had a huge crush on Jancee Dunn.
Two words. Five syllables — Serena Altschul.
For the ladies: Gideon Yago.
For the fellas: Tabitha Soren.
Hi Dave Holmes! I had not seen that video before, and man. I was missing out. No sarcasmo.
Also, should I just get the “Can I have Jennifer Lothrop’s number?” jokes out of the way.
Hi Dave…I’ve heard you on ‘Jordan, Jesse, Go!’ several times. You do a great job on there and you seem like a really nice guy!
oh, hi Dave Holmes, HANDSOME GUEST EDITOR.
Holmes has been hitting them fun runs.
HOLY SMOKES! DAVE HOLMES! I’m kind of in love with you from your ‘Jordan, Jesse, Go!” appearances (and your general handsome-ness). Also, A Drink With Dave is a delight, can’t wait for the new season. Between Dave Hill and now you, it’s like Gabe asked all my role models to blog this week. If John Hodgman or Paul F. Tompkins show up tomorrow, I just don’t know what I’ll do.
THANK YOU!
Saying you do not want to throw up at my mere sight is perhaps the greatest compliment I’ve heard this week.
Dave Holmes! You were really nice to me in a bar on Super Bowl Sunday this year! That is a thing that is nice. KUDOS
Hey! I remember that! You’re nice.
Welcome! I would not mind a tour of the viral video museum if all the clips are 15 seconds of pure gold. Thank you for that.
Ugh. I love Dave Holmes so much. I know all the words to the first verse of a LOT of 90′s hip hop songs simply from watching Say What? Karaoke all the time. Also: Marry me.
Spoken for. But thanks! And I agree: I can still recite Back That Ass Up from memory.
Talking at Dave Holmes about MTV/Jesse Camp is like talking to Chris Hardwick about Singled Out. There are so many things we could talk at him about!
EXAMPLE: He co-hosts a stand-up show at the UCB with Rob Delaney, and GABE was on that show once! So was Chelsea Peretti in a pretty sweet red & white striped dress.
Dear Dave,
Have you ever had a White Russian Milkshake from that bar next to the UCB?
Sincerely,
KajusX & Chainsaws
Thank you! Would you like to be my publicist?
No, haven’t had the milkshake. Kinda trying to avoid the sweet drinks. Decent wine selection at that place, though!
But he was also my middle school English teacher…