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“‘I can’t just get anyone pregnant, it has got to be the right person,’ he says.” (But he says he doesn’t want to meet her on the Internet?) (One step forward two steps back, gals.)
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Big deal, Benedict! More than half the world’s population can’t get any woman pregnant! You’re not so special!
Is he talking about relationships here, or is this some sort of Gatekeeper/Keymaster situation? I’d read the article, but to be honest I’m not going to read the article.
I like this guy, he seems okay. I don’t like him the way that he could get me pregnant but I would share a pint with him.
Quick, fetch the smelling salts!
I’ve got my couch handy!
THANKS GUYS I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU IN MY HOUR OF NEED.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Who needs to learn how to hide their boner when they can just watch this gif?
YOU ARE THE WORST.
Hey, did you guys know that vaginas are self sealing? I didn’t either, until right now.
Just because he doesn’t want to meet his baby mama on the internet doesn’t mean we are out of the running! We just have to manufacture chance encounters. Like, for example, go to a hotel where you know he’s staying and pretend to have a seizure in the lobby.
Or you can run the long con and give birth in a park he happens to be walking through. Only recommended for the very committed.
This just made me snort coffee through my nose. A+.
The best thing about this method is that you have already proven your fertility to him, and he will always associate you with babies. I think we have a winner.
I really like that we will forever associate babies with the long con because yup.
This has nothing to do with anything, really, but when Sir Peter O’Toole was nominated for an Academy Award I was working the night shift at the news in L.A. And sometimes, when you’re, say, writing about the worst of humanity for eight hours, you want to have a drink after work… but your after work is at 7 a.m. so the least psychotic thing you could do is have a mimosa at a hotel cocktail bar with a boozy old actor that has jet lag and will absolutely be up, drinking rum or something because he’s goddamn Peter O’Toole. So I had this whole plan hatched out — use our assignment desk and entertainment “tips” to figure out where he was staying, meet him at the hotel all casually like I get mimosas there all the time after work and befriend Sir Peter O’Toole. Then I learned he was probably in Beverly Hills and the traffic to get there and back to where I lived is the worst plus I don’t like drinking and driving… So anyway, I never met him and we never had that drink and now he’s quit the business so I probably won’t have that chance again.
I guess my point is, that’s a pretty damn good idea.
I was living in Rome when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went there to get married, and I was REALLY hoping I would run into them, so I could seduce Katie. Or Tom, for that matter. Even if I’m not into dudes, I’d be able to say I banged Tom Cruise.
Oh and to post this…
And this link to a bunch of Peter O’Toole drinking stories.
Ha. We should go back to the days when drinking too much made you a charming rake on an escapade, instead of the days we have now, where drinking makes you Lindsey Lohan on a jail bunk.
Although I guess our modern era is complicated by the internet, which gives us TMZ and tumblr memes and so many people to impregnate or — if you prefer — never impregnate.
Remember that time Gary got so drunk he
bought a barstole a cone? Classic Gary.Yes, good point. Cone thieves are our generation’s charming rakes.
For anyone just tuning in who is wondering what all this Gary stuff is, I don’t want to link us to the past, but I hate to be party to weird confusion, so here:
http://videogum.com/563591/today-we-are-all-orson-welles/where-were-they-then/comment-page-1/#comment-9462592
We now return you to your regularly scheduled confusion.
LOL. Good times.
I also want to point out that I am not garyspur. Someone else is behind that merry charade.
8)
He’s got some money in the bank account … ladies.
He’s scared of meeting someone really Chavy from the internet.
Of course he’s moaning about this because John can’t get pregnant.