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Hi Videogum! Listen, Gabe’s not here today. Did he tell you this was going to happen? Well he told me, and graciously offered to let me write things on the internet in his place. So here we are. You, the good people of Videogum, and me: a frequent Videogum lurker, more frequent comedy producer, and infrequent television watcher… here to discuss television.* GOOD IDEA, GABE!
Just kidding, I do know some things about TV, and I watched it so much as a kid that eventually I went to school to figure out how it works, and moved to New York to try to make it. Make television, that is. And I had a TV here for a while but then my roommate started putting The O’Reilly Factor on just to see what happened to me (ya know, for kicks) and eventually, after too many objects thrown across our apartment, I cut the cord and proceeded to rely on the internet to tell me what I missed. That’s what we’re all here for, right?!?!?!!
So yesterday I started noticing my British friends tweeting about Jessie J and Take That and was like “wtf?,” investigated, and learned that the Closing Ceremony of The London 2012 Olympics were on. Before I continue I should explain that I have British friends not only because I am a classy cosmopolitan lady, but also because I lived in Cheshire, England for a while growing up. Answers to your next four questions:
1. For my dad’s job.
2. No, not military.
3. Moved there when I was 12, back to the States when I was 16.
4. Formative years, yes, everyone says that!
So formative that I have a special little place in my heart reserved for that weird, stubborn, aspirational, quirky little country of countries, and what living there in the late nineties had to teach me about a how a post-colonial national pride manifests itself.
I’ll admit I was embarrassed for my one-time home at first, reading tweets during the Opening Ceremony that described airborne Mary Poppinses bopping Voldemort on the head or whatever, and could only imagine what kind of “OY, WE’VE GOT CUL-CHA!” shitshow was taking place.
From what the internet has told me though, it sounds like it was a valiant effort. And the Closing Ceremony seems to have approximated that same sincere puffed-up buffoonery that is so so so so British. I’m not just saying that because I read it somewhere. I’m saying that because I read this in NYT’s live coverage feed:
Oh my god that is beautiful. Do you guys know what it is? No. You shouldn’t. Upon being reminded of the existence of Morris dancing, I tried to remember where I’d encountered them before. I knew I’d heard of them when I was living in the UK but don’t remember ever seeing a performance in earnest. Turns out, it was this:
Which is PERFECT for so many reasons, not the least of which being that the exchange between Dom Joly’s morris dancer character and the ‘charmed’ American tourists is a perfect representation of how Britain presents itself to the rest of the world, and how we tend to perceive it. Especially in a grand showing-off as the Olympics are, the typically understated demeanor of our British friends is shelved with the call to pompousness. But not completely. Not like the Americans do it. Instead it’s very knowingly, with a sense of self-importance asserted convincingly for show, to the extent that the untrained eye might think they really mean it. They’re in on the joke on themselves though, and that’s what makes it so brilliant and adorable.
Going back to our new be-jingle-belled friends; I love this story not because it reminded me about Trigger Happy TV, but because it really for real happened like this: Sebastian Coe joked that they’d have “five thousand morris dancers” to show off British culture at the Opening Ceremony, morris dancers took him seriously, and they took themselves seriously enough to not recognize the joke but instead feel slighted when they weren’t actually invited to the party. And then, AND THEN!, they ended up in the Closing Ceremony. Because why not? The bizarre spectacle of a goofy looking traditional dance of dubious origin is no less fitting in a celebration of British-ness than Eric Idle falling out of a cannon. The British sense of humor that I know and love is a cheeky but loving one. The inclusion of the merry dancing men was probably a little political in the end, but if feels much more like the organisers (translation: organizers) brought them in with an affectionate “aw, come here you” and tousled their hair a little, then put them up there to share the spotlight with entertainers who are no more deserving of it, really. That’s not to say that Britian’s most beloved cultural exports are laughable. Instead, that what’s so enduring and unique here is the humility at its core. That, to me, is Britain most valuable export: the lesson that it’s important to take seriously not taking yourself seriously. Does that make sense? TELL ME, WE’RE FRIENDS NOW!
* I know I could talk about other stuff. But is there other stuff??? I’ll try to find out before the end of the day and let you know.
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Pretty cool, but I still prefer the American version.
I can just feel the static shock he’s going to get when he touches that doorknob.
But what of the Spice Girls??
They were fine.
I came to the inernet this morning exclusively for Spice Girls updates. “They were fine.” I can leave the itnernet today satisfied.
They did the chorus of Wannabe followed by a minute of Spice up Your Life followed by the chorus of Wannabe. I am from now on pronouncing it IT-NERR-NET
Holy cow I wrote it wrong twice. Goodnight, everyone. My Spice Girls cassette tapes and I are going back to bed.
In honor of this post, we must frame our questions more Britishly.
“Whither yon Maidens of Spice?”
“Blimey Chips”
Boris Johnson liked it.
That is exactly the kind of dance somebody completely without rhythm would do if they were pretending to like something for politeness’ sake.
Ugh Boris no. Thank god David Cameron isn’t also in this gif.
I feel, about the guest writers, about how I felt in elementary school when there’s a substitute teacher. Scared and sad and eager and excited and confused all at once!
That being said: The closing ceremonies felt like the interns organized the whole thing. The choreography was pretty wonky, and what was up with that truck / driving motif! We’re England and we have a lot of cars and famous people driving (or standing on top of) them. Also: super-models? Also, also: inflatable octopus? Confusing.
PS I didn’t watch even, like, one minute of the actual Olympics so maybe I missed something? Was it like an inside joke? Like: hey remember that time with the octopus and the trucks?!
The super models/fashion thing was the worst. And also it was introduced by a nonsensical David Bowie montage and he never showed up.
GUYSGUVNAHS, if you’re going to show a David Bowie in the first act, he’d better have sung something by the third.And no offense to Jessie J, but couldn’t they have gotten someone better to sing We Will Rock You?
Seriously, that made no sense. She ALREADY did a song. They might as well have had a bloody hologram.
Not a bloody hologram, per se. A British bloody.
I think this is about the 5th time I’ve said this today at this point, but I REALLY wish they’d gotten Mika to sing it *SIGH*
I loved the fashion show. Kate Moss in Alexander McQueen IS Olympics.*
*I didn’t watch more than 2 minutes of it. Except for this. I hate sports and Bob Costas narratives.
Was it McQueen? Why didn’t anyone say that? Sarah Burton McQ or Old McQ?
(Agree on hating sports, didn’t hate the fashion, just seemed out of place?!)
That’s kind of what I loved about it. No idea on when it was made, just that it was absolutely gorgeous.
This doesn’t feel right to me. A whole post about British stuff, and not even one mention of lorries?
Or Marmite. I’m pretty that’s a really cruel joke that the British are playing on the world.
Pretty “sure”, I mean. This will probably be upvoted, but not the preceding comment.
I’m British. Are you therefore calling me a puffed-up buffoon, thou Carrion monster!? Gordon Bennett, you made a right numpty out of me you barmy wazzack! Yer off yer bloomin’ rocker! Thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up, and howl’st to find it! Flippin’ piss-artist! I wouldn’t ‘ave that for me Tommy-Tucker if it was cooked up with onions! Etc, etc.
Can you explain Del Close? Because everyone in Britain seemed to go batshit over that reference.
Um, no, sorry. I didn’t notice it. Unless it was a reference to this Del Close: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Del_Close Which I somehow doubt.
closing ceremonies will always be average and could always be better… Kinda like have sex with me
felt much longer, though
You’ve a fine name, sir. Frites Alors has a BBQ poutine with smoked cheese curds and I would honestly choose it over sex probably at least 30% of the time.
well merci beaucoup… my girlfriend has the same opinion, though her % is much higher… haven’t tried the smoked cheese though.
I don’t like people who wear bells. My goddog takes pretty much everything in stride, but the time he met people with bells on, he freaked out.
I just had lunch with my friend and his dog and decided she was my goddog. I had never heard that term before, but now here it is again. (Cool comment, Steph.)
Congratulations! It’s wonderful to have a goddog…and if the term isn’t just being tossed in jokingly, but has responsibility too, it’s more wonderful. My friends went traveling for a month and were able to leave him with me without a worry. I’m actually in their file at the vet’s…
David Bowie FAIL Closing Olympics! Mr. Wicway and I spent a few minutes being thrilled that David Bowie might show up. Very disappointing. Other than that, decent show London Olympics.
Good and funny post and great to see a guest writer not just try and be like Gabe. Gabe is Gabe. Be yourself! Or did we learn nothing from that Audioslave song? That one about being yourself. I forget what it’s called.
Caroline, if you want to see some Morris Dancing in the good ole’ US of A, come on down to my son’s Winter Revels at Worthington Hooker Elementary School in December. Gotta admit, New Englanders are still rocking shit people stopped doing in England 500 years ago.
New England, Old Fashioned.
Hi Caroline! I really liked this post! Good job!
I personally enjoyed the Closing Ceremonies more than the Opening. It just felt more relaxed and fun and goofy you know? Just like “We don’t take ourselves seriously, here’s some music that people like and some crazy dancing and Eric Idle and THE SPICE GIRLS! Have fun everyone!”
Also: ANNIE LENNOX AS THE THE FIGUREHEAD OF A CRAZY GOTH SHIP.
thank you, that is very nice of you to say!
A whole discussion about the Closing Ceremony and no one’s mentioned Muse yet? Louis Simon is going to be mad y’all.
(Also Muse please try harder to look rock musicians. Wearing a suit covered in sequin vomit doesn’t count.)
Louis’ Muse Google Alert must not be working today.
(PS: They were there? I literally watched the entire thing and don’t remember them. I must have blocked the memory.)
I don’t remember them either!?
NBC actually cut that part out
… but I was watching on the BBC.
…but i was replying to Summer… oh wait, hee hee
Did NBC also cut out THE CLASH??? Because I kept reading about it and … no Clash. Not okay, NBC. Not okay. French and Saunders were cut out too.
Blimey. Shit bunch of wankers they is.
I was pissed about The Who. Someone covers Pinball Wizard and then NBC was like, “Come back in about an hour after ‘Animal Practice’, the show that was DEFINITELY NOT lifted from the rejected sketch premise pile of the SNL writers’ room, and see The Who!”
pssst. Gawker has a link to the Who’s performance.
(I think The Clash were just on the to-perform list. But I know that French and Saunders were there and I didn’t see it and I’m still very unhappy about this.)
The sequin suit left me so APPALLED. Then again, the organisers would get so upset about the branding on the Mr Cool Disguise’s earlier, cooler disguise.
SEQUINS ARE THE GREATEST FASHION ACCESSORY IN THE WORLD. YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE TO HAVE EYES.
Maybe NBC didn’t show them but they were definetely there on the bbc somewhere between Eric Idle and Queen.
My favorite tidbit of morris dancing trivia: “Shakespeare made reference to morris dancing in his plays, and actor Will Kemp, upon being sacked from Shakespeare’s company, danced 125 miles from London to Norwich as a publicity stunt.”