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Fake and anti-gay! This is a pretty good protest, though. You know what a protest is, right? Where you bring a wooden stool and a bowl and an acetylene torch and stand on the front lawn of a corporation’s industrial office park and draw incomprehensible comparisons between breakfast cereal and homosexuality? A protest! You got a fight! For your right! To Cheeeeeeeerios! The two teenagers who are laughing in the background in no way diminish the importance I’m sure this video will play in drawing the battle lines between the gay agenda and the Cheerios agenda and the stools and the bowls and the landscaping companies and General Motors and fire. Get in the car. Let’s get out of here, guys. (Earth.) (Let’s get out of Earth.)
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What a Froot Loop.
I don’t know what he’s talking about, most gay men I know don’t like Cherrios because their holes are too small to sodomize! BOOM!
Yeah, but the honey nuts must be hard to turn down.
It would be Oh’s cereal, but there’s something in the middle.
Man, this guy is FLAMING!
“Amateur”-This guy:
(We still miss you, Patrice)
Yep, this is most likely my state! I somehow got on the mailing list for the anti-gay marriage groups, and was informed of the protests a few months back (M-F, 12-2! THOSE 10 HOURS OF PROTESTING WILL BRING BIG CEREAL DOWN). There was no mention of fire, though. Now I just feel silly for not going.
(Also, this has to be a joke, right? Right? I mean, what?)
It IS your state. You can use your 10,000 lakes to put out all the cereal fires.
I understand being a bigot and protesting something (in theory I understand it), and heck, I can kind of understand setting something on fire (they burn American flags all the time overseas and it looks dramatic on TV, right?), but why–if you putz up something as simple as burning cardboard–why would your supposed friend post the video on the web?
I’d like to see this guy spend a night in prison for starting a fire on private property. That has to be good for a scary night in jail, right?
I assume it’s his embarassed children taking the video (there is no way that this guy knows how the internet works). And I, too, hope he goes to jail for this!
Is he dressed as Cameron from Modern Family as some sort of commentary on gay marriage?
I’m surprised General Mills didn’t get targeted before now, honestly. Everyone knows he used his position as a General to convince the military to let the gays in.
I hear next they’re going after Dr. Pepper for his support of socialized healthcare.
Why is there no Mrs. Clean?
Mr. Clean is a genie*, there are no laws allowing marriage between genies.
*Seriously, this is official word from the company. I e-mailed them once and that’s what they told me.
I would like, please, more information about this email exchange.
I would as well. If needed, I can start a change.org petition.
I actually e-mailed to ask why he’s bald. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t hygeine-related issues that would call his cleaning power into question. They just said it’s because he’s a genie. I asked what a genie has to do to get stuck in a bottle of toilet cleaner instead of a lamp. I got no further response.
Dear Mr. Clean, What in the heck are you? — Love, Facetaco.
Dear Facetaco, Seriously? I am a genie! Love, Mr. Clean.
“Mr.” just seems like a strange choice of honorific for a genie
This is the best story ever.
“One out of every eight boxes of cereal in this country is Cheerios.”
Maybe my favorite statistic ever.
Also, one glance at the cereal aisle proves this to be untrue.
Hey GM landscaping! Ya burnt!
Sorry.