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From what I can tell from the WAY too many hours of Olympics I’ve watched this past week, interviewing athletes is very difficult. “How do you feel?” “Did you ever think you’d get here, to this moment?” “How is your mom going to feel about this?” “How hard have you worked?” UGH. Useless. It seems Piers Morgan found a way around that, though, when talking to incredible interview subject Ryan Lochte recently on Piers Morgan Tonight:
“If I could take you to a desert island it would be perfect for you, because you could swim all day long,” begins the host. “A desert island and you could choose one famous woman to spend the rest of your life with, who would you take right now?”
Pausing briefly to ponder his options, Lochte eventually commits to a fellow twenty-something heartthrob:
“Right now, Blake Lively,” says the man celebrating his 28th birthday Friday. “Yeah, she is gorgeous.”
Having never met the “Gossip Girl” starlet, Lochte reveals his potential pick-up line: “I would be like, ‘Hi.’ I’d be like, ‘You want to go to an island with me?’”
“If I could blindfold you and take you to a pool somewhere — anywhere, I don’t know, like in a warehouse or a shipping yard or just wherever — and put chains around your wrists just long enough to reach the length of the pool but not long enough to reach any of the exits, that would be perfect for you because you could just swim all day long and I would always know that you were there, in that room, swimming.” Oh, Piers. He does bring up an important question, though: WHO IS YOUR DESERT ISLAND CELEBRITY DREAM DATE?! And then, haha, what would be your pickup line to get them to come to a desert island with you, a stranger? Same as Ryan’s, probably? My dream date would be Aaron Paul and my pickup line would be, “Hi. There is a boat waiting for us and if you don’t come with me something bad is going to happen to someone you love.” (Via Celebitchy.)
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When I was younger I would have said Ginger, but now I’d go with Maryanne.
It’s cool. When I was younger I would have said R2D2, Esq, but now I’d go with Lando Calrissian, MD.
Kristen Wiig or Chyna depending on whether or not I am being practical or not
Can it be ANYBODY, living or dead? If so, I choose Courtney Stodden. Dead.
Can we stop for a moment and discuss how creepy this question is? It’s akin to asking what celebrity a person would want to lock up in a dungeon for their own private use.
I think the question is poorly phrased. I believe he meant something like “if you had to choose one celebrity companion…” Not that it would be a good question or anything, but at least it wouldn’t sound like something out of Misery.
Even in the best-case scenario, this question mostly boils down to “who would you most like to have sex with, knowing that she is doing so because you are literally the only man available?”
..and also because of the implication.
Group poll: is this question more or less creepy than the fact that “#PeopleIWouldSexuallyDestroy” is trending on Twitter right now?
Who would you sexually destroy on an island?
I would just sexually destroy the island.
Betty White. She wouldn’t last long and…more food for me.
Because she’s dead, or because you plan to resort to cannibalism?
That depends on both how long she lingers and how many coconuts are available.
This leads to a much more interesting question: Who would you most like to cannibalize on an island? BNPG? My personal choice would be Sarah Rue.
Wait, we’re not assuming that we should take someone who can help us get off the island?
Antonin Scalia.
Or wait, only Scalia if it’s like a desert island we can’t come off of ever so I could keep him off the bench. If it was just a date I’d take Isla Fisher and my pickup line would be, “Do you know your first name means island in some language?”
So weird Ryan because mine is you! – Everyone in the WORLD. #JEAH
#JEAH JEAH JEAH
It might be a good choice. You could probably trick him into getting in your giant Looney Tunes soup cauldron real easy, avoid the messy bludgeoning and hacking aspects of cannibalism.
I’m pretty sure he’d be up for whatever. Same as a golden retriever puppy.
Puppies are not that dumb. And their teeth are pretty sharp.
Jeff Goldblum, obv.
Michael Phelps. What now, Lochte?
Weird, that was this guy’s line, too.
Seriously, anyone but Jack… Probably Sawyer or Sayid or Boone or Charlie.
JANUARY JONES. GAME OVER.
Game over for you, she’d cannibalize you before you knew what was happening! Probably before she even ran out of other food sources!
Gabe Delahaye #nohomo
I’d say Tilda Swinton, but mostly because I am convinced she has emergency planes stashed on every island, just in case. Then we could fly away into a life of art heists and jewel thievery.
Wait, which island?
My dessert island celebrity dream date: Fudgy the Whale
Methinks he is angling for a one night stand with Blake Lively. I mean, she’s obviously going to see this, right? Too bad his delivery of that pick-up line came off mega dumb. Poor Lochte.
Kristen Bell; my pickup line would be “Hi, were you in Veronica Mars?”. That way I’d know if she was definitely Kristen Bell, and she’d be impressed because I recognised her and was familiar with her work.
Alison Brie, cause even if I struck out (which I totally would strike out) she’d be cool about it and we could make each other laugh
Also, how has no one said Gwyenth Paltrow yet?