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Correct me if I’m wrong, but the movie Jurassic Park was just a movie about a family having a fun day at a dinosaur theme park, right? It was nice because you didn’t really have any anxiety while you watched it and it was just like, ugh, finally I can just ENJOY MYSELF at a movie? Right? Just a fun romp, encouraging man’s never-ending quest for control over nature? Perfect, I thought so. With that in mind, an Australian billionaire is trying to create his own Jurassic Park! Using dino DNA! From Sunshine Coast Daily:
THE suggestion would be considered unbelievable – if it involved anyone other than Clive Palmer.
The controversial billionaire is rumoured to be planning to clone a dinosaur from DNA so he can set it free in a Jurassic Park-style area at his new Palmer Resort in Coolum.
Mr Palmer has, apparently, been in deep discussion with the people who successfully cloned Dolly the sheep to bring his dinosaur vision to life.
If Mr Palmer can resurrect the Titanic, what is to stop him from trying with another of his other alleged passions – dinosaurs?
The Titanic thing the clip mentions at the end is referring to how Clive Palmer, sane billionaire, is also BUILDING A TITANIC II. Hahaha. My goodness. What a perfect man with only the best ideas. I love you, Clive Palmer! “Also I’m going to attempt to matter transport myself with a fly and see what happens.” “Also I’m going to become winter caretaker at the Overlook II.” “Also I’m going to try to mend my relationship with LC even though Spencer has told me not to, again and again.” “Also I think Georgina has really changed.” All classic Clive Palmer quotes, I bet. (Via Geekologie.)
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Does Clive Palmer fall asleep halfway through every movie?
He’s never seen so much as 1 princess rescued by her knight in shining armor.
Clive Palmer is going to meet his best platonic friend Sally while they’re in college.
BNPG: Clive Palmer’s next project. I’ll start.
Clive Palmer is going to find a wife via auditions for a movie, just like in Audition.
Clive Palmer is going to buy his son a Good Guy doll.
Clive Palmer is going to join the IRA, kill a British soldier, and date his girlfriend.
Clive Palmer is going to start driving a taxi on the 3rd shift.
Clive Palmer creates a fantasy land called Terabithia with his best friend Leslie. All is well.
Clive Palmer lives peacefully with a group of grizzly bears.
Clive Palmer is going to go to Chinatown and pick up a Mogwai and then just totally keep it dry and only feed it during the day, naturally.
Clive Palmer buys his daughter a pet rabbit. Clive Palmer has an affair with Glenn Close.
Clive Palmer is going to lose his virginity at sleepaway camp, NBD.
I need to start handing out thread of the week awards again.
This one already wins.
P.S Clive Palmer makes a transporter, BUT accidentally morphs with a fly. Ha ha though it makes him super strong and he can climbs walls and there’s pretty much no downsides whatsoever.
Wow, I didn’t even see the flyblum thread below before I typed this. EEEEEeeeerie.
Clive Palmer adopts a plucky young redheaded orphan who wears a bow tie.
Clive Palmer gets a great deal on a new home in Amityville.
Clive Palmer is going to capture an alien easily by tricking a crew member into gestating one.
Clive Palmer buys an old community center some neighborhood kids dance in and plans to build luxury condos.
Clive Palmer is going to be a totally alive psychologist, just like Bruce Willis.
Clive Palmer is going to spend Christmas Eve with his estranged wife in Los Angeles.
A year later, Clive Palmer decides to greet his wife on Christmas Eve in Washington D.C.
Clive Palmer plans to blow up home tree so he can reach the unobtanium.
Clive Palmer is going to make Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie,
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Apollo 13……… 2!!!
Clive Palmer is told by his girlfriend Nancy not to fall asleep. Clive Palmer simply shrugs and takes a nap.
Clive Palmer decides to reopen camp crystal lake, because who believes in a death curse?
Clive Palmer is going to dress like a girl and go by the name Martha and join his mom’s boyfriend’s girls soccer team and fall in love with his team mate Vinessa Shaw.
You know that old saw about wealth: The first generation earns the money,
the second generation manages to keep it, and the third generation spends it all, the first generation tries to make fucking dinosaurs.They won’t be fucking, he’ll only breed females.
Clever taco.
Psh. Clearly facetaco is served at Chick Fil-A.
This just sounds like an elaborate excuse to pig out on melting ice cream.
Viral marketing for Jurassic Park IV?
Clive Palmer is pretty close to Chili Palmer who was played by John Travolta, therefore Clive Palmer intends to coerce velociraptors into giving him handjobs.
That sounds like something you could really only experience once.
doyouthinkhesaurus
This is great news, because I’m on the verge of discovering how to fill a shaving-cream can with whipped cream.
Dotson! We got Dotson here!
Let’s just clone Jeff Goldblum.
Jeff Cloneblum.
i’ve been working on it.
my results haven’t fared so well.
i am in the process of building an Angiers-style basement.
God creates Goldblum.
Man clones Goldblum.
Goldblum kills man.
Profit???
Don’t worry Hollywood is on it.
I TOO have been working on it
I will never tire of this, it makes me smile every time.
The real question is does he plan to spare any expense?
He’s using a couple Groupons for lunch.
LOL. You are all clever girls. Now hold on to your butts!
So he is just going to make one and make it be an attraction at a casino or whatever? FREE this dinosaur that doesn’t exist yet.
Also, Clive Palmer announced that he is running for a seat in the Australian parliament.
That probably seems normal to all you denizens of the US of A with the likes of the Governator, Jessie the Body Ventura and Ronald Reagan at various levels of government.
But it creeps the hell out of us.
Bingo! DINO DNA!
6 YEAR OLD BOY WILL GIVE YOU 10 REASONS NOT TO VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS0jhoWhqI8&feature=plcp
“mr. palmer imagines those who travel with a first-class ticket will be able to afford to go to the casino but perhaps not those in third class.
but he says he’ll be buying a third class ticket.
‘it’s more fun to dance with a Irish drunk than to sit in a casino.’”
When chaos theory proves true at Clive Palmer’s Jurassic Park and they need to hack into the mainframe, hopefully a resourceful girl who is intimately familiar with UNIX will be there to virtually fly through the file system.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFUlAQZB9Ng