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There was a bit of turbulence on the Stretch Armstrong: The Movie front earlier this year, after Universal dropped the film and Taylor Lautner — everyone’s top choice for The Stretch Armstrong — turned the non-Universal version of the project down. Ugh. It’s just like, I know it’s not flattering to complain, but it’s just like — don’t you wish SOMETHING would ever go right in this bullshit world? I know. I know and your wish is granted Relativity Media has since picked the film back up, and it now looks like we just might get to see this beautiful thing after all! Who ever said there was no such thing as good news?!?! Seriously, WHO?! From Coming Soon:
Relativity Media has closed a deal with Breck Eisner (The Crazies, Sahara) to direct its upcoming live-action film based on Stretch Armstrong, it was announced today by Relativity’s President, Tucker Tooley. Relativity partnered with global branded play company Hasbro, Inc. to develop and produce the film which is targeted for an April 11, 2014 release date.
“We were delighted by Breck and Dean’s innovative and creative concept for bringing this character to life. Their unique vision for creating the mythology for this story paired with their experience gives us the confidence that they are the perfect team to bring Stretch Armstrong to the big screen,” said Tooley, President, Relativity.
This original story will be a gritty actioner introducing the character of Lucas Armstrong and the life-or-death consequences he will face after undergoing a transformation granting him superhuman abilities.
That story sounds great and I have no questions except the only question I have is what kind of superhuman abilities is Lucas Armstrong going to have?!? Is he going to be able to fly? Read minds?! Punch very hard??? Become a ghost whenever he wants?! Charm women at the drop of a hat? Never get a cold, not even when everyone around him has a cold?! Turn into a monster? Become a car? I just cannot not figure out, not in a million years, what these superhuman abilities are going to be! DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING, STRETCH ARMSTRONG: THE MOVIE!
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I bet his abilities will be related to stretching.
Well if that’s the case, then someone needs to develop PraiseArmstrong because that level of stretching is just going to lead everyone away from Christ.
Maybe they already cast Fred Willard, and he was just practicing.
Saying I’m excited for this might be stretching the truth
it’s good that they took some time and let this project rest. if they pulled too hard for it, it might break apart and make a mess. and that would be toxic.
Yeah, except there is no way it can be produced before Decemner 21. So we still lose. THANKS FOR NOTHING, HOLLYWOOD.
Lousy Decemner weather.
You laugh, but you will feel so foolish when you realized Decemner comes between Novlember and Jamuary.
LBT’s favorite band is The Decemnerists. You’ve probably never heard of them.
Their unique vision for creating the mythology for this story…
“Yeah, I’ve always thought it was bullshit that there was never a Stretch Armstrong origins backstory.” – nobody
It’s about time Tucker Tooley got his own tag on here.
Lucas Armstrong always knew that he would one day inherit his family’s candy empire, and planned to expand the company in a whole new direction. That direction? Salt water taffy. What follows is the tale of a man driven to madness and badly deformed in the quest to perfect a boardwalk classic…
Is there any overlap between the intended audience for this movie and the people who played with Stretch Armstrong as children? I’m sure someone raised this point in the pitch meeting. How did it not end the pitch meeting?