Life is a lot like throwing a bag of garbage into a volcano. You climb up a big mountain that’s next to the lava lake with a big bag of organic garbage that is supposed to represent a human, so you can test if a human falling from that distance would penetrate the lava lake, and you throw the garbage into the lava lake, and then it goes right into the lava lake. You know? Just like life. And you think, “Why do I even try?” And then you remember, “To get results.” And then you jump into the lava lake, too. And then everyone jumps into the lava lake, each one disappearing more quickly than the last. And now everyone is in the lava lake and we’re all lava people, and we raise our children as lava people, and it is a Heaven on Earth. (Via ViralViral.)

Comments (15)
  1. At what point do you start to wonder “Is that lava monster going to stop growing? Should we still be here?”

  2. This reminds me of when I threw my VHS copy of Volcano in the garbage.

  3. We’ve had a post about Paris Hilton, then a post about Lindsay Lohan, now a post about a flaming mess of garbage. Three things and it’s a trend.

  4. Isn’t this how Melkor created Balrogs?

  5. This reminds me of when I threw my laserdisc copy of Dante’s Peak in the dumpster

  6. You who are on the ledge
    Must have a pledge that you can live by
    And so amass some trash
    Because the splash is just a good bye.

    Teach lava children drunk,
    Their father’s junk did slowly fall down,
    And stay, out of lava lake
    For heaven’s sake, it’s fucking hot, you clown.

    -CSNY

    • And I heard of that big bag of organic garbage / that jumped into the volcano
      Was it trying to make it back / back into the womb of the world?

      -Beck

  7. This looks like fun.

  8. Lord of the Organic Waste Bag:
    Sam: Destroy it, Frodo! Go on! Now! Throw it in the fire! What are you waiting for? Just let it go!
    Frodo: The organic waste bag is mine.
    Sam: NOOOO!
    GOTHIC CHOIR: SSSEEESESEEEAAAHHHH WAAAGAHHHH AAHHHOOOHHHHOOOAAHHHHH!!

  9. that plopping noise made me shudder

  10. “Surprisingly,” really? Disrupting a calm volcano shocks you by bubbling up lava?

  11. ok that was really cool

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