Photos
To celebrate 100 years of stuff, Paramount got 116 people together, which doesn’t really seem to make that much sense, like you just HAD to include Johnny Noxville apparently, but it’s their party so just be happy for them, for a big group photo. Aww! Everyone looks like they’re having a great time. Ed Harris is thrilled to be a part of it! On the one hand, it’s impressive that they got so many celebs in one place at one time and on the other hand it’s so unusual to have so many celebs in one place at one time that it looks fake. If Lee Harvey Oswald had really showed up for this photo then how come his shadow is whatever? In any case, this week we’re going to do things a little differently. There can only be one caption comment per person in the photo. (If we get through all 116 people then you can start over again, BUT NOT UNTIL THEN BECAUSE MOM SAYS.) Click the photo to enlarge or visit Vanity Fair for a flashy version. Read other people’s comments first to make sure you’re not doubling up. WE DON’T NEED TWO DIFFERENT JOKES ABOUT WHAT JULIANNE HOUGH IS SAYING. Comment early to poke fun at your fave celebs!
Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. THE COMMENT STAYS IN THE PICTURE!
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Meanwhile, some people have to beg for even ONE person to help them celebrate turning 100.
Am I the only one who thinks that Kevin Costner looks like he has a little John Travolta in him?
“Does he want some?” — John Travolta
he just came from a massage.
If you reverse massage it, he will come
“How am I still alive?” -Bud Cort
he drinks a vial of ruth gordon’s blood every day.
Fingers crossed for that to be a deleted scene in the Criterion release.
“if you want to live
forever, drink ruth’s bloodhigh, live high”– original lyric sheet from Cat Stevens
I have nothing clever to add, I just want to get the Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu comment out of the way.
This is a biutiful comment.
this is the punchline. will we have to wait 2.5 miserable hours for the set up and it to make sense?
You can definitely see the bars that are supposed to be behind Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s head through his face.
“And I thought I was the jackass, GABE!” – Johnny Knoxville
Seriously BIEBER !!!! Get out now
Foreshadowing?
116 pairs of $116 underpants.
Stupid Vanity Fair misspelled “Jeff Goldblum.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBxgAmdPQWg
This may be the greatest gift youtube has given us.
Someone photoshop Michael Cera in there.
Meryl Streep farted.
Dakota Fanning is trying to escape from George Clooney.
Also, thank you Amy Heckerling’s head for saving us from a Dakota Fanning ass-shot!
What a strange-looking pile of cocaine.
Less like Robert Downer Jr.
” “-Marlee Matlin
Robert Evans, Ali MacGraw AND Patton Oswalt?! Is that even allowed?
“That’s right. I’m the Joker now.” Robert Evans, apparently
Paramount advertises Untitled Star Trek sequel (2013); others also show up.
“Paramount: The House That Star Trek Built”
“They told me if I posed for this picture I could use the sink to bathe”
i thought he was a cannibal
nope just pretentious
Natalie Portman’s caption reads “Future bride of Steve Winwood.”
Simon Pegg looks almost TOO excited to be seated next to Jon Cryer.
Maybe Jon Cryer and Peter Bogdanovich have mad sexual tension, and Simon Pegg just feels uncomfortable being the wall between their Pyramus and Thisbe.
“Fucking Pegg.” -Robert DeNiro
“Fucking DeNiro” -Simon Pegg
“guhhhhhfaafasdfasdapbllllt” -Kirk Douglas
David Lynch : “Who Farted?”
More like, “HELLO! WHO FARTED???”
[IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/v4124x.png[/IMG]
Why is Jack Black in there twice??
omg
The weirdest advent calendar ever for some unknown, secret cult holiday.
I am playing hangman and I think I got most of it, but damned if I can finish the puzzle
SCIEN_OLOGY
Simon Pegg looks really annoyed with Peter Bogdanovich.
Great minds, bobby tables. Great minds.
would you do that to Tom Petty?
So it’s like Girls, but about a movie production company?
One of us! One of us! Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble! One of us! One of us! Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble! One of us! One of us! Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble!
special thanks go out to Gary Oldman for putting it all together.
This should have a million more upvotes
I just drifted off for 5 minutes imagining a cage match between Ben Kingsley and Patrick Stewart.
you can’t look directly at their foreheads.
“What is happening?” -Kirk Douglas
“WHAT?”
That is a cruel, unfeeling caption. It’s my favorite one.
like the right side of his face.
why is no one standing near walberg?
need to see that return of the jedi final shot photoshop remix with big bird and jar jar photoshopped in to it with yoda, obi wan and annikan skywalker etc. you know the one I’m talking about it was a viral meme in 2005
Do you have a link? You should post a link.
wwwhhhaaaa?
give me the “John Lennon”
Barbara Streisand to her Stylist
Imagine all the people, people who need people.
Have you tried Activia?
-Jamie Lee Curtis
OK, be honest, how many of you saw this guy and immediately recognized him as the owner of BET?
Wow, say what you will about CHESS: THE MOVIE, but they really put together quite a cast.
Dear Paramount Pictures,
A little birdy came and told me it was your birthday.
DUDE! Happy Friggin’ Birthday!
(with) Mad Love,
Charlize Theron
“Come on, not even a little Sinatara?”
[IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/2qwejuw.jpg[/IMG]
Nick Nolte
ha ha ha ha ha
you think the photographer tried to pose robert de niro and get him to smile? and in response robert de niro said you talkin’ to me? and everybody cheered and high-fived because they got to witness it and started doing de niro impressions, which are always terrible and as robert de niro looked around, at all of them, he died a little inside and made his classic robert de niro face because he knew the risks, he didn’t have to be there. and the photographer started crying because it was so beautiful and decided to capture him sitting there making that face forever?
I would just like to point out that this post is tagged solely as “Leonardo DiCaprio”.
Karl Urban: “Who am I again?”
Ann?
Karl-Heinz Urban (Not Pictured)
Nickname: Egg
Wow, Jamie Lee Curtis looks incredible, even next to Megan Fox. I wish I could have done her in Trading Places.
“So when Rayanne Graff told me my hair was holding me back, I had to listen. ‘Cause she wasn’t just talking about my hair. She was talking about my life.”
“‘Last 48 Hours’ stands out as the saddest installation of this buddy-cop series yet” – Variety
“Dignified and inconspicuous.” – Sacha Baron Cohen
He looks like he’s auditioning to play Young Jack Nicholson, following him around and mimicking his mannerisms.
Robert De Niro: I’ve made a huge mistake.
Simon Pegg: Ekatsim eguh a edam Ev’i.
(because they’re wearing the exact same expression but flipped, like in a mirror… this is pretty complicated for a super dumb joke)
Not Pictured: Travolta’s masseuse and Cruise’s actual height.
“We are the 1% (but don’t want to admit it)” – Everyone.
I don’t understand why this doesn’t have alllllllll of the upvotes. THE TINY SUNGLASSES. I am forever in awe.
I know, right? People: click on it and look at the larger version. She is a thing of beauty.
God. did that take as much time as I imagine it did? And by the way, worth every second.
GOLD.
THIS IS AWESOME.
This is perfect.
This is the greatest thing in the world.
I just teared up. This is beautiful.
Patrick M, please tell me it was intentional that Mark Wahlberg didn’t get a pair of shades, and then please tell me why you made that call!
I got lazy
Is Don Cheadle a tiny man or is this the worst photoshop of all time?
Totally! Why is his head so SMALL?
Several of them look pretty obviously Photoshopped in. Don Cheadle, Peter Bogdanovich (and/or Emile Hirsch), Cameron Diaz, Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu, Johnny Noxville and probably others don’t look quite right for their depth/perspective, and you can see blurring on the edges where they intersect with other people.
Cameron Diaz looks like her elbow would be inside Nick Nolte’s face if she were actually standing in that position.
Nice to see Katie Featherston finally participating in some NORMAL Activity!*
*I know everyone was staring expectantly into the black space of the internet as you heard the ominous beats on my keyboard getting closer and closer to that much-anticipated Katie Featherston joke, and then you all totally jumped and screamed when it finally hit the comments, except for those of you who had been covering your eyes the whole time and just pretended to be scared when everyone else screamed, although you didn’t really know why and were kind of glad you didn’t know why, because nightmares.
“I’M A MONSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
- Olivia Newton-John
I came to this late but I just wanna say that these are some of the funniest captions I’ve seen on this feature. Good job, y’all, you deserve your own elaborate Vanity Fair photo shoot.
And the rest of the celebrities to die in the “Summer of Death 2012″ were…
ELLE FANNING ???
WTF ???
Was Ali Lohan not available ?
elle fanning is a pretty big star. ali lohan is… something else.
Serious question: why does Ben Kingsley get his “sir”, but Patrick Stewart doesn’t? Is he too freshly knighted?
Where are the holograms of dead celebs?
“That’s you, drops of water and you’re on top of the mountain of success. But one day you start sliding down the mountain and you think wait a minute; I’m a mountain top water drop.”
- Edward James Olmos to Shia LaBeouf upon hearing he is retiring from acting forever
Morgan Freeman has one white hand.
Related: Morgan Freeman has one black hand.
“Don’t feel bad, even I don’t know who I am.” – Katie Featherston
“We are all very clearly in the same room at the same time.” – Anna Kendrick
What everyone is simultaneously thinking:
“I can’t believe I’m in the same room as Rosie Huntington-Whitely!!!”