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There’s a new movie coming out starring Hayden Panetierre called I Love You Beth Cooper. Here is the trailer, you guys:
Sure. It’s about time they remade Can’t Hardly Wait. Oh, and look, they even included the requisite stupid-teen-comedy-trope of a cute forest animal that turns out to be mean. That will never get old. Wait, what is the opposite of never?
But there is something interesting about I Love You Beth Cooper. I know that might seem impossible based on the trailer, but what’s interesting is that it’s based on the debut novel of Larry Doyle.
The novel of the same name won the Thurber Prize for American Humor in 2008. Prior to writing the novel, Larry Doyle was a writer for The Simpsons. He also wrote for Beavis and Butthead. He’s a frequent contributor to the New Yorker and McSweeney’s. My point is that by all outwards signs he is a humor writer of a certain pedigree; a pedigree that does not suggest teen schlock Hayden Panetierre vehicles.
Now, before we ask Larry Doyle to marry us, let’s be clear-headed about something. His two previous film credits include the Ben Stiller, Jennifer AnistonDrew Barrymore “comedy,” Duplex, and Looney Tunes: Back in Action. But Duplex was directed by Danny Devito, and no script, regardless of its quality, can withstand that man’s “vision.” And Looney Tunes: Back in Action was born out of a project to bring Looney Tunes shorts back to theaters, a noble enough endeavor. And at least it wasn’t Space Jam.
I’m in no way a Larry Doyle superfan or apologist. His career mirrors the careers of most creative people, with some ups and some downs. Everyone has to pay the billz. But my point is that if you showed me the I Love You, Beth Cooper trailer and suggested that it was the work of anyone other than a Hollywood Screenwriting Troll living under The Entertainment Bridge, pounding away at Final Draft with his gnarled, green fingernails, a copy of Syd Field’s How To Write Movies Like You’re A Stupid Asshole open next to him, I would tell you to get lost. Hollywood has that way about it, of taking even the most carefully vetted writers and turning them into pedestrian garbagemongers.
There we go, probably the most genius breakthrough idea of all time. It’s like you’ve been blind your entire life and now you can see.
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Why don’t you just kiss Larry Doyle and get it over with?
I don’t think there can be another level of worst after this. You have just found the limits of worst.
I knew they were making a movie on this book but the minute I read it was starting Hayden Panxx in your post, my heart sank. I’m not even goign to watch the trailer. The book is great. The movie will be a trainwreck. I look forward (no I don’t) to the movie versions of “King Dork” and “World War Z”, two other books I loved that will be ruined by Hollywood.
You neglected to mention that this was directed by Chris Columbus – which would certainly explain a lot. Hell, it’s amazing the Harry Potter franchise survived after that guy got his clutches on it.
am I the only one that thinks this is a rip-off of The Girl Next Door? Looks terrible.
Every new teen movie makes me want to go watch a John Hughes movie instead.
If the movie is half as funny as the book, then I’ll buy a ticket.
Also, for what it’s worth, I always envisioned some super-hot perky young Hollywood blonde in the Beth Cooper role. Hayden’s kind of a perfect fit, haters be damned.
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Yeah I’m PRETTY SURE this movie is saying that all marines are aggressive douchebags.
The book was horrible. Why should the movie be any different?
Drew Barrymore was in Duplex. Jennifer Aniston was in Along Came Polly.
One was a bomb and the other made hundreds of millions of dollars, but they’re pretty equally horrible, even though Polly had small roles from Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Alec Baldwin.
Whoops, you’re right. Fixing now.
Thank you, Professor of Drew Barrymore Studies.
Do I get 3 credits for Drew Barrymore 101, because I need an elective next semester.
wow, this movie looks original. every scene in that trailer was something that i have never seen before, so i’m sure this won’t be one cliche after another.
I can never get into a movie about high school kids which makes the most popular girl part of a small group of bratz with a ridiculous nickname like “The Trinity” who can “smell fear.”
I read the book at the insistence of my friend. It was a colossal meh-fest. In fact, I’m STILL WAITING: THE MOVIE for it to get funny.
Hayden Pantyhair = awful x fail – acting ability. Her only saving grace is that I can blame her for ruining Heroes and ignore that the writers are trying to molest us via television drama.
Your post kind of dovetailed into Adaptation. Unless I don’t know what dovetailed means as a verb.
Also, your comment about the angry animal scene made that scene funny when I saw it. Well played, sir.
Whatever. Just another example of how you can’t win if you try to make a movie. Not just a movie from a book. A movie. Movies aren’t good. They’re just not good.
Would we have preferred that they tried to make another indie movie from a good book–see Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Starting out in the Evening, Feast of Love, A Home at the Edge of the Universe… Un-good.
This one is at least trying to succeed. With a formulaic trailer. And what’s her name.