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You know this guy is a good (and real) lawyer because he doesn’t even offer a phone number or a fax number or any way to contact him whatsoever. He’s not in it for the money, he’s in it for the JUSTICE. Go ahead and try to hold him in contempt of court, your honor, he’ll just kick your desk in. Don’t get in his way. This is his truck. No, you’re out of order. SUSTAINED! (Thanks for the tip, Jana.)
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I see they’re taking the new Dallas series in a completely different direction now.
Permission to treat this lawyer as hostile.
Guys, I’m not in love with this comment, but R2D2 Esq. is out of town for the long holiday, so he made me promise to make his quota of lawyer jokes today.
I’ll allow it.
Motion to dismiss the charges of ‘mediocre joke making’ by the defendant, he was just helping out a friend.
Motion denied. The defendant will be held in contempt. Even moreso than usual.
Is this footage to someone’s tribute sequel to Sabatoge?
Correction: He’s my lawyer AND boyfriend. Ethics only limit our freedom.
wow what a catch!
He wins all of his cases by distracting the opposing council. Instead of focusing on the case, they spend the whole time trying to figure out a way to refer to his sweet ‘stache as a “soup strainer,” so they can make a clever sustained/soup-strained pun. Then by the time they realize it’s impossible, they’ve already lost.
I only know about this tactic because I just spent 15 minutes in that trap.
Did Sacha Baron Cohen get bored with his new character already? That was quick.
Top-notch first comment, little red-haired girl!
Thanks, facetaco! High praise coming from a long-time Monster!
I’ve been a monster so long, Charlize Theron made a movie about me!
Æon Flux?
Gesundheit
I was going to list another movie by Charlize, but got distracted because I just discovered she’s playing the character ‘Furiosa’ in the new Tom Hardy Mad Max film, Mad Max: Fury Road. I am more excited for that film now (I already was anyway because of Tom Hardy).
Anyway.
The movie was The Astronaut’s Wife.
I’ve never seen it, but that sounds awful. Frankly, I don’t understand who wants to watch a movie about the spouse of someone exciting. Same goes for The Time Traveler’s Wife. Just show me the damn time traveler!
This summer, in theaters everywhere: Lois Lane.
Aw man, you just slammed Lois Lane? DC is so bad at giving female heroes their due, they mistakenly continue to define Lois Lane by her involvement with Superman, leading to mistaken opinions that she is in fact boring. But she’s not! There are a small, dedicated group of creators who post pitch after pitch of awesome Lois Lane ideas, and DC just passes on all of them.
AND, if they did make a Lois Lane film, they’d call is LOIS, with the S being the Superman symbol, because marketing is the WORST.
*applause* Aaaand….Welcome, welcome fahoo ramus! Welcome, welcome dahoo damus, little red-haired girl!
One of us! One of us!
I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure destroying someone’s personal property is a crime.
Apparently not if it’s IN YOUR WAY!!!!!
one of the related videos is a pre fu manchu interview he gives describing why he is going to jail for flicking off a judge, and how his firm will survive while he’s incarcerated. his answer? pushups.
whoops, pardon me, not flicking off, jerk-off motion, as clarified by Scott below. but still, pushups. true story.
why should YOU go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?!
that dude is actually a lawyer in Austin and he recently got in big ol’ trouble for making a jerk-off hand motion at opposing counsel. The judge saw it and wasn’t pleased.
I thought this was a joke until your comment. Then I googled him. His website is Dwibadass dot com. Ugh. Just ugh.
Oh man, this site is the best. He has a whole detailed report of every case he wins, apparently? This one is my favorite so far:
Not Guilty. S. C. – June 28, 2011 Charge: Driving While Intoxicated Result: Jury Verdict Not Guilty (picked jury) This client was pulled over after partying with me the night before I was to go to jail for contempt of court. According to police, she appeared to be “soiled, mussed, bloodshot, swaying, unsure and talkative”. In addition, alcohol had been poured all over her in a celebratory manner similar to what you would see in a locker room after a team wins a championship. She gave off all possible clues on the horizontal nystagmus test, four on the walk and turn, three on the one leg stand, and the Romberg balance test was “stopped for her safety (almost fell forward) at 30 seconds”. She was arrested and refused any blood or alcohol tests. She took me on as her attorney and as we prepared to go to trial, I was removed as case-in-chief from her case by a motion from The Travis County Attorney which stated that I be removed because I was a necessary fact witness for the State in the case. I did, however pick the jury for the trial, which Charlie Baird then argued in front of as her lead counsel and won a verdict of not guilty from. Most interestingly, I was never called to the stand as a witness by the State, even though this was the whole reason given for me being removed as my client’s attorney.
That is something else.
Oh! Justice. That’s it.
I think I just found my husband, you guys.
This guy is Ben Stiller in Happy Gilmore.
i didn’t know you could so obnoxiously behave like a coke head and still practice law.
Thought he might be the cousin of Big Bob:
http://youtu.be/k5LrBqWYuHE
Texas apparently has much lower professional responsibility standards than most states’ bars.