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Videogum is now taking applications for summer internships. Oh sorry, was that too abrupt for you? Did you want me to spend an entire paragraph beating around the bush (with a bunch of parenthetical asides) and forced, outdated pop culture references like I do with most other posts? If your answer was yes then at the very least you have a good sense of Videogum’s tone and you might make a great fit for one of our summer internship positions! Your responsibilities will be, you know, whatever an intern’s responsibilities at a blog are. Faxing? Whatever. Is that really what you care about? Responsibilities? You’ll have them. You’re going to have to actually do some work and stuff. But, like, when you are thinking about internship opportunities do you go on Facebook and gush about the “responsibilities” listed? “They said light clerical!” Maybe you do. I don’t know have ANY idea what kids these days do. Call your helicopter tiger mom who is also your best friend on your own dime. (I also do not know how much calls cost.)
So it looks like you got your ridiculous bloggy Paragraph About Nothing (Seinfeld reference) after all. Congrats! If you are interested in the (unpaid but with college credit) internship, though, please email us at intern@videogum.com. You can include your resume if you have one, and you’re trying to be an adult now so you should have one, but you’re also probably in college and therefore your resume is almost certainly complete bullshit. No offense. I worked at a cafe, too, for years. I get it. But, you know. (Pro-tip: the “objective” field is not a real field.) So send some sample writing, maybe, and at the very least write a thoughtful explanation of why you want the internship in the first place. Those kinds of things go a lot further. (Pro-tip: it doesn’t have to be funny, it just has to be thoughtful. People have really sunk themselves trying to be funny in the past. Don’t sweat it! You do you!) It’ll be great, though. Very exciting. So many responsibilities. Please RT. Let’s make this a Summer 3 Remember.
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Blogging pajamas provided?
no silly, blogging pajama jeans
blogging pajoveralls?
“blogging pajamas” will be the name of a brooklyn band in 2018
A lot of things frustrate me about Brooklyn-based Blogging Pajama’s first album, Nowhere, Now Here. First and foremost, the band’s mistaking melodic and emotional obtuseness with gurgle! ack! hock! Sorry, was choking on my own pretentiousness there. 5.6″ — Pitchfork
Well, I liked Now Here is Nowhere.
It’s a trap summer interns, never forget intern Lauren RIP
Always be Upvoting Intern Laura References
I don’t have anything to say about interns, but this seemed like as good a place as any to share with you guys that I had a BAT in my apartment for the last two days. What the f? It’s gone now, but the harrowing memories will always remain. Also, I have to go see a doctor about getting a rabies shot. That is all
if you had an intern, they could’ve gotten rid of the bat for you. then they could call a doctor for you, cross-check schedules, then set up and drive you to said appointment. all for college credit, of course.
this post has been typed by explainer guy’s intern. don’t tell him, but i could use a new internship. maybe one that actually offers college credit? he is a liar and not to be trusted
I like the sound of having my own personal unpaid intern. Like an indentured servant! Please submit applications to femmefatale666@aol.com.
catweazle? more like batweazle.
that second sentence should be “too abrupt” not “to abrupt” unless you want to convey an image of someone who knows nothing of basic english language skillz
Maybe it was a test? Maybe all of today has been one giant, ARE YOU VIDEOGUM ENOUGH Challenge?!
Or, you know, a typo.
an intern would have caught that.
again, this post has been typed by explainer guy’s intern. don’t tell him, but i could use a new internship. maybe one that actually offers college credit? seriously, I will do all of this stuff for you! for actual college credit!
if a doctor’s job is to sew an arm back on a patient’s body but he messes up and sews the arm on to a patients face, the doctor gets sued. if a blogger’s job is to write sentences in english, but he fails at it big time, he gets away with it because these days nobody cares. in the good old days, things mattered
PS. I’m offended.
[Doctor finishes sewing arm onto patient's face, stands back to survey results] “Well, finally, that about wraps — Oh. Fuck.”
I’ll take it.
Question: can my application be via interpretive dance?
If I’m a senior in high school can I still apply?
Are upvotes yeses? Also, is “I was once the associate editor’s choice in the Monsters’ Ball” something to put on a resume?
I need that one! I’ll trade you for a near-mint “Snooty Sam”
What about robot lawyers? Can they apply? I’m asking for a friend. A friend who is a robot and a lawyer and comments on Videogum kind of a lot.
No. Just robot folk singers. I’m sorry.
You just secured the number one spot on my list of monsters that I suspect are actually robots.
I thought that what we had was special
On a scale of one to ten, how sad would it be for a non-student 29-year-old accountant to apply for this position? Oh, 11? OK, just asking.
These internships go to 11.
Exclusive pic from last year’s intern orientation:
Gabe: “Oh, intern! Intern! Look at Birdie. Does she look happy? NO! She doesn’t. She looks bored. She is SO bored. Entertain her. Make it count, or else you’re going back on the pile.”
Does it come with street credit as well? That’s really what I need out of an unpaid position right now.
True* story: I am suing my former internship for not giving me enough street cred.
*A total lie.
Don’t get sued Gabe!
Guys. Take heed when applying. Lots of fine print. To wit:
“10) Responsibilities of the Intern Winner: In exchange for the above prize/compensation, the Intern Winner agrees to and is responsible for the following:
— Post weekly to Videogum
— Attend various local events as directed by Gabe Delahaye/Kelly Conaboy
— Maintain a social networking presence for Videogum on Facebook and Twitter.
— Constantly reassure Gabe that his views on the Mad Men are valid and that sooner or later the worlds will wake up and agree with him.
– Excise references to Aaron Paul’s engagement from daily news clippings before Kelly reviews
– Purchase ten (10) bags of Grape Big League Chew for Gabe every afternoon at 3:00 p.m.
– Never ask what is in the Videogum Prize Closet
“– Never ask what is in the Videogum Prize Closet”
Is it the complete novelization of Friday Night Lights?
It’s BOB.
I was just in a book store and discovered that there is a novelization of the John Carter movie. It is shelved with the excellent, fun books the movie is based on. Its existence makes me feel so, so violent.
For a minute, I thought you meant the original books. Then I understood what you meant. Those bastards.
Gonna pass– this sounds like the Black Swan internship I had.
Here’s my book:
Birdie: the Cure for the Common Dog
Chris Brown: the Cure for the Common Asshole
The Wire: the Cure for the Common Premium Cable Drama
Videogum Petting Zoo: the Cure for the Common Cute Animal Video
When do I start?
Wannnnnnntt baaaaaahhhhh