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Yesterday, Vulture compiled a list of every single line of dialogue that Rihanna said in the #1 movie in America, The Battleship. This is a list of none of the lines of dialogue that Rihanna said in the #1 movie in America, The Battleship. She didn’t say any of these!
- “Boy, I sure do work on this Battleship.”
- “BATTLESHIP!”
- “Oh na-na, battleship.”
- “You da one that is an aliens.”
- “It’s not a tumor.”
- “A woman should never accept domestic abuse, and despite the complicated psychological makeup of many domestic abuse victims, we as women need to work harder to break those patterns and seek help when we fail to break them but never, ever forgive the abuser or return to their cycle of violence and apologies even just as a guest vocalist on a single.”
- “I have a very special set of skills. A set of skills that makes me a nightmare to aliens like you. That’s how I got my job on this battleship!”
- “I’ll have what aliens are having.”
- “THIS. IS. BATTLESHIP.”
- “We’re gonna need a bigger battleship.”
- “Thank you, Mr. President, but the American people are the true Medals of Honor.”
- “Don’t look at my iPod, it’s nothing but Sixpence None the Wiser and that song about walking 5,000 miles.”
- “If two people love each other they should have the right to be married just like anyone else.”
- “Kony 2012.”
- “Who’s your favorite character on Game of Thrones? I like Cersei!”
- “Yippee Ki-Yay, motherbattleship.”
What did we even do before blogs?
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“Welcome to EARF!”
*SLAP* (because Will Smith then tried to kiss her)
Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina, and I work on this battleship.
Fredo, you’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Battleship again. Ever.
They keep pulling back N! 5!
GODAMMIT. “They keep pulling *me* back N. 5!”
Did she at least get to send out an SOS?
“Clear eyes, full bazookas, can’t lose”
These aliens are unlike anything I’ve ever seen…
*shades*
…B-4.
*YYYEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!*
Gabe, you dummy, it’s Sixpence None the Richer. I should know, I have an unopened CD of theirs that’s been sitting in my car for about 7 years since I won it in a raffle in high school. BOOM. YA BURNT.
You are so much younger than me! On the plus side, I have a newer car.
It wouldn’t be hard for a person to have a newer car than I do.
Likewise, it wouldn’t be hard for a person to be younger than me.
You can sail on my Battleship
attleship attleship eh eh eh
On my Battleship
attleship attleship eh eh eh
On my Battleship
attleship attleship eh eh eh
“that is abuse. i don’t have to tolerate it, nor should any woman.”
Or man. Let’s not be sexist here.
“I sunk yo batter-ship!”
“Hold on to your butts and also your battleships”
“I’m gettin’ too old for this ship.”
“Alien sticks and alien stones may break my bones, but battleships excite me.”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but batlleships will never sink me!”
Sticks and stones and Chris Brown.
“7, 7, 7, A-7, A, A, A, A-7, 7,7…..”
“THAT’S the Joke” – Rihanna, Battleship, 2012
“Clever Battleship”
That is one big pile of battleshit.
“Ayo aliens! You’ve been charged with assault and BATTLESHIP!”
She would like Cersei.
“Surprise, there’s a BATTLESHIP here to see you!”
“You play Battleship like a girl!”
Battleship is as Battleship does
That’s what I call a close encounter with a battleship!
Play Battleship again, Sam.
“Of all the battleships, in all the oceans, in all the world, these aliens attack mine.”
If we don’t sink these aliens, we’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of our battleship.
Pretty sneaky Battleship!
That’s what the battleship’s for!
Rihanna’s battleship was shot down in the Sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.
Did you notice a sign out in front of my battleship that said Dead Alien Storage?
Could I BE any more battleship? – Rihanna Bing
Battleship were on a break! – Rihanna Gellar
“This is me, This is what I Battleship” – Rihanna Sparks
“It’s not a tumor.”
Is that because it’s B-9?
Frankly my dear, I don’t give a battleship.
(standing up in front of everyone)
Take dead aim on the aliens. Get them in the crosshairs…and take them down. Just remember, they can buyyy anything, but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget that.
I saved Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgård, and Brooklyn Decker. What did YOU ever do?
forget it marge its battleship!
“A woman should never accept domestic abuse, and despite the complicated psychological makeup of many domestic abuse victims, we as women need to work harder to break those patterns and seek help…”
Huh. Good thing she didn’t say that guess that’s outrageously victim-blame-y!
Seriously though, how is it that nobody says “You sunk my Battleship™!” in any of the trailers? That’s like, the one goddamn thing they had to include in order for the movie to have anything to do with the board game. Somebody’s gotta say it at some point during the movie, right? Probably Liam Neeson?
“Shut up and battleship!”
Semi-related, “Shut up and drive” are not good driving directions to give to a taxi driver. Especially when drunk.
“These alien pretzels are making me alien thirsty.”