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Everyone OK? Everyone keeping up? The past couple episodes have mostly been spoken lists of troop deployments, so I’m just making sure everyone’s up to speed. There’s that dweeb in the north who is such a drip. The guy who cannot seem to get a close enough shave even with Ye Gillette Mach Thrice is sailing across the ocean. Rob Stark is getting it wet with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Jon Snow has been caught by the Man Sized Ewoks. The little girl is punching people’s assassination numbers like she’s running the brisket line at Katz’s Deli. Jaime Lannister has “escaped” to try and bargain for the release of the two Stark girls, but what he should be bargaining for is a shower because the dude is gross. Tyrion and Cersei might need to go to couples therapy but for siblings. Tyrion and Varys (the bald eunuch, #nonerdo) also might need to go to some kind of couples therapy but for suspicious rivalries. Basically everyone should probably be in some kind of therapy. And that just about catches us up! Oh, and those two little boys who got burned up and hung from the rafters weren’t burned up and hung from the rafters at all, but we knew that already, right? I mean that seemed kind of obvious. Also not that good of a reveal! That is your big jaw-dropping episode closing reveal? Snooze. “Two little boys asleep in some hay. DUNH-DUNH-DUNH.” Give me some dragons or something. Cut someone’s head off! (Speaking of dragons, WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS, STILL?) Anyway, there are only two episodes left which means next week should be pretty good because HBO always makes the pre-finale episodes the best episodes. WINTER. IS. HERE.
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I thought this episode was amazing. Arya straight up WALKING OUT of Harrenhal? Tyrion on his knees telling Shae “you are mine”??? Very dusty in my living room! I’m so glad there’s more than just one episode left!
Seriously. Arya is so freaking cool! “I’m leaving, stay here if you’re gonna be such a baby about it.” I can’t wait to see where she goes from here!
I was so sad she left, only because it means no more amazing scenes with her and Tywin.
Any other book readers starting to get a bit nervous? There’s still SO MUCH that’s meant to happen! Is it going to be squashed into 2 episodes, or are they going to cut bits out, or are they going to end the series ahead of the book? I feel like 3 episodes could do it, but I’m getting super nerd-nervous about 2!
Not a book reader, but I’ve seen the creators say in interviews they aren’t being strict about each season aligning perfectly with a single book – they’ll let events/characters appear “early” or “late” if it fits better. Next season is supposedly set to only cover the first half of book 3.
Not no book reader.
I’m nervous. Very nervous.
I can’t quite remember where book 2 left off, but I do know that the writers have said that they are streamlining the chronology, so I’m not super worried. As long as we have *SPOILER OF THRONES* the battle of the Blackwater in all its terrible glory this season I’ll be okay.
I posted a link to the trailer for ep 9 downthread, it looks like it’s going to be just about perfect. I’m worried they’ll cut the odd-couple buddy comedy road trip between Jamie and Brienne! More Jamie and Brienne!!
Oooh my goodnessss!!!! That trailer was perfect. Next week will be amazing. I’m assuming the next episode will probably just be all Blackwater right? And then the finale will be checking up with everyone else? I think the majority of the Jaime and Brienne goodness will be in Season 3. I’m pretty happy with the glimpse we got this episode though!!
I think I read somewhere that the next two episodes will be Blackwater-related, but don’t quote me on it.
I’m a bit concerned. But it doesn’t seem like they are at all worried about fitting everything in, what with all these Storm of Swords plotlines that are already happening. Which is kind of neat! The Jamie and Brienne roadshow is underway! Ygritte is such a hoot!
But also. WHERE WAS THE WEASEL SOUP INCIDENT??? Why did they not include the part where Arya kills a bunch of guys with boiling soup and then that one guy’s face is ripped off by his own dog? Was that not awesome enough??
Yea – I was really looking forward to that part. Sigh
Yes, I am a book reader and I share your fears, and I think you should read this post on Pajiba: http://www.pajiba.com/seriously_random_lists/hey-book-nerds-a-spoiler-heavy-look-at-all-the-insane-sht-game-of-thrones-has-to-cram-into-their-last-three-episodes-.php
Oh and it goes without saying, but, just to be sure, MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!
I like to think of it as a fast-and-hard rule that if you don’t see a character die, they probably aren’t actually dead. I cling to this like a dying man when he kills off my favourite characters off-screen, at least. But in most cases, it’s pretty true.
If I don’t see a character’s head stomped off like a tree branch, they’re not dead.
Judging by that banner pic, Paul Kinsey was everywhere on Sunday.
Brilliant.
Arya, man, she’s just so awesome. So smart to say Jaquen’s name! What a bargaining chip. At her age (heck, now) I would’ve just been a big ol’ whiny baby about Jaquen not being able to kill Tywin. But how bummed is everyone that this means the end of the Tywin & Arya Fun Times?
Robb, Robb, Robb, thinking with your dick.
Poor Roz, our friendly neighborhood prostitute/recipient of exposition! I thought that whole sequence was pretty amazing. The Cersei/Tyrion scene, Roz, Tyrion rushing back to Shae. It was very interesting to see that side of Tyrion and Dinklage did a great job. But once again, dudes, Cersei’s kinda right, you let that thing between your legs guide your head at your own risk.
Uh, doi, it’s called a condom.
I don’t want to even think about what a Westerosian condom would be made of.
Valarian Steel brand condoms… for when you and your lady play a Game of Bones!
I totally forgot what Shae looked like between last week’s episode and this week’s, so when Roz showed up I totally didn’t get that she wasn’t Shae because she was a familiar face. So when Tyrion reunited with her later I was like, “OH SHIT. That was Roz. That was Roz. Wow, Tyrion really kept it together and sold it!”
Ha! Tyrion played you and Cersei both!
Here’s what I didn’t like about this scene. I think the writers painted themselves into a corner by having Roz as pretty much the only prostitute we know. We’re supposed to believe that Cersei thinks Tyrion is really in love with Roz. But we also know that Cersei knows Tyrion hired her out for Joffrey. Are we supposed to believe that Cersei thinks Tyrion would hire out the one prostitute he truly loves? Doesn’t make sense to me. In the books it makes sense because Cersei just going on observation and she can only assume from his frequent visits that Tyrion loves Alayaya. But the Roz thing seems forced. Though More Esme Bianco is always better than less Esme Bianco.
I really enjoyed the reveal? I mean, I’ve read the books so I knew it was coming, but to me it had this very subdued but no less potent “The Stark boys LIVE” appeal to it….I dunno, I liked it. Bran’s face at the end; he’s so young, but has proven himself wise beyond his years, and that look he had as the credits rolled really sent that point home I thought. He’s a righteous young Lord in the making, noble and just, and as long as he survives hope remains! You guys! I liked the ending! Not too much! Not too little! Just right!
I agree. I have to admit, I got a little goosebumpy at poor Bran’s face and then the fade to black.
Yes, last week I kept saying “but not really, right?” about Bran and Rickon (sp? sorry) and this week I was really excited. It’s just very clear that Bran’s story isn’t done yet! (haven’t read the books)
As an extremely forgetful reader and a “pretty good at remembering most things” viewer, I too am pleased with what they’ve already done with Bran. And let’s talk about Isaac Hempstead-Wright for a second. How good are the child actors on this show? So good, right? I can’t think of a single one that hasn’t done at least a little bit of beautiful work. (That extends to Rickon smashing walnuts.)
I agree… normally i can’t stand kid actors but GoT totally has some good kids. Arya is amazing, Bran too. But i like how w/ little screen time, Rickon really does come across as this deeply traumatized and almost feral child who Bran has to sort of raise.
He had about two lines in season one, and both of them were delivered well. This season, he’s proving himself to be a talented physical performer.
This episode thoroughly pissed me off as a book reader. And I promise I’m not one of those “ugh – that was so not like the book” people. I’ve so far enjoyed the changes they’ve made. But WTF!? There are SO MANY IMPORTANT STORYLINES GOING ON and we had a 10 minute POINTLESS conversation between Rob and Jeyne 2.0 all for a sex scene. I mean…c’mon.
And what’s up with Dany and the Dragons? “WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?” is the new “WAAAAALLT!! WAAAAAALT!” amiright?
I concur with old man fatima – we are running out of time for A LOT of important things to happen. I’m worried they are going to cut out significant parts. I really hope they don’t. That just means the last 2 eps will be all the more epic.
The trailer for next episode looks amazing, and promises loads of my darling, wonderful Hound!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw2uO1h4bpg
Hey, guys! I was at a bar in my neighborhood on Friday afternoon (Mission Dolores was the bar, in case any of you were wondering about that part), and the actress who plays Shae was there! She’s pretty.
So, when Paul Kinsey degraded himself, did it involve or result in the loss of his testicles?
Thank you, Richard Carlisle, for finally calling Daenerys out on this Mother of Dragons nonsense. Like, you obviously have a special connection with the dragons, but you know you didn’t actually give birth to them, right?
Dragons teething on your nipples seems like a bad idea, anyway.
Wasn’t a dragon suckling her nipple in the season 1 finale though?
I’m not saying the Targaryens aren’t immune to delusional episodes, but if I had premonitions, was unhurt by fire and brought the first dragons into the world after a very long dry spell, and then a comet flew by to signify their return, I’d be pretty much acting exactly like Daenerys.
Nerd alert: In the book, the dragons definitely suckled her as she emerged from the fire.
In the books, I think she does actually nurse them at first.
Haha, go us. I think this is my first Donna Darko.
But who Donna-ed the Darko? Our time stamps are both 1.20!
Daenerys Darko
Dragon Darko
Daenerys Dragon Darko
You see what I’m going for here.
Donna Drogo
Also – I would have taken away 5 mins of the Robb/Jeyne 2.0 convo and put it to the Jaime/Brienne story. Those parts have the potential to be TV GOLD. (Think “Who is that beast?” gold)
ya, the whole riverside scene prior to hopping in the canoe was great.
I didn’t know this show could be genuinely heartwarming and, oh I don’t know, romantic? The Tyrion/Shae scene. The Robb Stark/Charlie Chaplin’s granddaughter scene. I thought they were very sweet scenes. And this is still Game of Thrones we’re watching right? It’s so very much the best right? I’m beginning to think it truly is the best show. Maybe ever.
I adored the Robb/Talysa-not-Jeyne scene. Robb’s not a meaty character in the books, not by any stretch of the imagination, so it’s good to see him doing something here. This was the first time I was really impressed by Richard Madden’s acting.
“It’s good to see him doing something here.”
Hey! She has a NAME!
haven’t read the books but know what’s going to happen and all i can say is that I hope there is no “Red Wedding”.
Probably my favorite write-ups on the show this year have been by Andy Greenwald on Grantland:
http://es.pn/KCVvl4
Anyway, he mirrored my thoughts this week in pointing out that you can hardly enjoy these warmer moments because the correlation between like-ability and longevity on this show is rarely favorable.
Same! I feel like I watch the show basically for those recaps.
I think my main problem with this week’s episode is that I have no jokes about it.
I’m going to throw an “episode before the finale” watch party since this next episode should be epic. What do I serve? I mean besides decorating the front porch with charred little boy corpses, I’m at a loss. And don’t say fish pie. I don’t like it no matter who’s servin’ it up.
Pig-something.
Everything is always dripping in honey. I get sweaters on my teeth just reading about it, but your best bet is meat with oranges and honey. So much honey.
Lemon Cakes!
Yum! I think I can handle these!
Lamprey pie? Hot Pie? Or, you know, just consult this.
Shoot, meant to be a response to wallflower.
Not available until May 29th! Maybe for next year? I like th sound of those Honeyfingers.
Well, darn! How about this one?
I’m not sure what this says about me, but my main problem with anyone hiding or in captivity is the bathroom issue. So, if they tie you up to a pole in the middle of camp you basically just sit there and piss and shit on yourself? I’d rather be dead.
prude.
Death is so finite, while life is filled with so much poop.
Also, note to Theon: You should never have listened to Finchy. Now your shoes are on the other side of Winterfell and you’ve got little dead boy corpses stinkin’ up your courtyard.
You might even say they… Reek???
You might just say that… Reek, Reek, it rhymes with bleak.
Shoes?! You don’t savagely kick off partially severed heads with a pair of converse! Theon clearly has a pair of Kodiak hiking boots on.
Boots or shoes, doesn’t matter, Finchy’s gonna throw them over the roof to prove he’s the real winner of the quiz.
But who gets to ride home in the side car?
and because it’s just THE BEST
Theon and I are going to get married someday, I think.
I’d rather be a bastard than a Greyjoy!
I love Theon. Spoiler alert: there is a chance that maybe someday you will too.
I loved when Varys correctly pronounced the name of the Maester who wrote the book Tyrion was reading (only to dismiss him as a bad writer); it worked as kind of a meta-joke about the ridiculous names in the series while neatly encapsulating Varys’s character.
Also, how many times do you think Varys had to send that Kimono back to his tailor with the instructions to make the sleeves bigger? A lot of times, I’m thinking.
Nailed it. I was traveling yesterday, so I’m late to the GoT party, but my favorite part of the episode (which had a lot of great parts) was the face Tyrion made to Bronn after hearing the correct enunciation of the Arch Maester’s name.
(So great that it inspired me to attempt to create my own GIF Let’s hope this works.)
Lovely!
I sure hope we have an exciting finale revolving around the gory beheading of one young King Joffrey. That arrogant asshole wants to get up in Stannis’ face? I hope Stannis rips him from neck to navel. (No spoilers!)
Things that castmembers do or have done when they’re not out Game of Throne-ing: Bronn was a member of an oldies cover band in the UK.
Jerome Flynn is a pretty big (but forgotten) celebrity in the UK. He used to be in a show called SOLDIER SOLDIER with his celebrity best friend Robson Green (who now does extreme fishing shows for Discovery Channel) and then went on to become a singing duo. I’m trying to think of an American equivalent… I messed with several UK co-viewers’ minds when I pointed out the nigh-unrecognisable Bronn was Jerome Flynn.
Holy shit! It’s one of Robson and Jerome! I had no idea until you said it just there. Wow: he’s way better in Game of Thrones than he was in that shite cover of Unchained Melody
Hottest in Westeros
1) Robb Stark – just c’mon. I geniunely like his love story with Talisa/not Jeyne because it shows them really developing genuine feelings for each other and there is a mutual respect there and my god he is so pretty and I wanna run my fingers through his hair
2) Talisa’s ass – hey gurl hey
3) Robb Stark
4) Robb Stark
5) Jamie Lannister – the road trip buddy comedy of Jamie and Brienne is perfection
6) Robb Stark
No love for sweet Tyrion or badass Jaqen in this episode?
I came very close to adding them in!! Consider them both add-ons!
A man needs to be in the top 5 of the hottest in Westeros.
I’ve never looked at him and thought “HOT DUDE ALERT” before. (That’s what i think whenever I see a nice looking man. In all caps and everything.) But last night changed that likea whoa.
I will admit i was uber pissed when Cersei tried to get revenge on Tyrion but then it was just Roz and i breathed a sigh of relief. Don’t get me wrong i like Roz but come on… Shae and Tyrion is a sweet thing. but back to Cersei and her stupid bitch face. ugh, she is the worst character, i hate her smuggness and her constant anger towards Tyrion. I mean, hello hoe, he sent your daughter away to keep her safe you daffy bitch! and that just self pleased way she told him she had repaid him… and i will admit i laughed at her when she got the wrong prostitute. Cersei may be a badass but she can really never hope to outwit Tyrion and i hope that one day she gets her comeuppance. But other than that i loved last nights show. Arya was wonderful… robb was hot as always… Dany was amazing, all 5 seconds of seeing her and Jon Snow was cute in his not knowing how to get in good with the wildlings and i totally want him to get it on with Yigrite.
New to the post and wanted to say I love all your comments. They are hilarious and make awful day at work go much faster. Particularly love Gabe’s recaps on Walking Dead. My absolute fav and what got me hooked to this site.
And as far as GOT goes… which I have a hard time calliing it that since I knew it forever as A Song of Ice and Fire… I think HBO has done an incredible job. I absolutely hate when a book is converted to a movie or television show and they feel the need to hammer through every single part of the plot without deviating one bit, in the right order, etc (god forbid if you miss a character) just to please the people who have read the books ahead of time. I think that the creators of the show managed to give it the feel of the books without making it feel too extraneous (and impressively way more detail and depth than I thought they could shoehorn into so few episodes). I also hope that they section the series up differently than the books. That would definitely be awesome when it comes to 4 and 5… since technically they were supposed to originally be one book.
Tyrion has always been my favorite character. Maybe like…ever in literature. And I remember reading the books and thinking “that one dude from Elf would be perfect for this if they ever made it into a show.” And I imagined him in the part when I read the books and he GOT the part. Coincidence? Probably…
I am 11 weeks pregnant right now and if it’s a boy I think I want to name it Tyrion.
We named our puppy Arry!
bit of a difference.
No, I am the mother of that puppy.
She is the Mother of Puppies. It is known.
For some weird reason… if i get a dog I want to name it a straight up human name but wanted to it to be “Jon” after Jon Snow. Just think it’s super funny when people are screaming for their dog and it’s like Bob or something. Or Tony. That would be even funnier.
How about Shaggy Wolf? Nerd Alert – I read the first book after watching the first season, and Rickon named his direwolf Shaggy Dog, which is the best and worst name.
Our basset hound and beagle/Basset are Mrs. Weasley and Harry Potter.
I know we have anti-true blood love on Videogum… but my bulldog is named sookie. and no, the gap between her front teeth did not play any part in her naming.
I hope you call them the full names when you are calling after them. That’s. Awesome. I had a stray cat outside my apartment complex in college that I called “Daenerys Targaryen Stormborn Dragon Mother” – Dragmo as a nickname. I know. I’m pathetic. But it amused me to no end.
Weiss and Benioff said that when they cast the first season, they only had two characters’ portrayers in mind: Sean Bean as Ned and Peter Dinklage as Tyrion. So hat tip to those guys.
“Rob Stark is getting it wet with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.” is killing me. I’m going to think of her as that forever now. Also, she’s pretty (obviously, since most everyone, male or female, is on this show).
I think Oona Chaplin one of the better looking people on the show. She’s very naturally pretty.
That said, Aiden Gillen can get it.