Photos
Desperately trying to move our ridiculous baby bodies to a point where the necklace that is the weekend is within reach. Don’t give up, guys! I know it seems impossible, but we’re almost there! Someone just please move the necklace a little closer, I know we can reach it but it would definitely help if someone would just move it a little tiny bit closer thanks! (Via SayOMG.)
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We know who left that jewelry on the floor!
I thought it was
That kid’s gonna be pissed when he realizes those were fake pearls.
God, this week can’t end fast enough. I’m Cage in Face/Off and this week is Travolta and I’m trying to kill it with a spear gun and willing it to die because this week swapped faces with me and we just fought each other while racing speedboats… OK, this got away from me quickly. Let’s just say I can’t wait to get out of work today.
Any other Friday and I would be that baby, so finally happy to get to the pearls of the weekend. But THIS weekend my future inlaws are coming and staying at my house. So, I’m kind of like that baby but instead of getting pearls of happiness and accomplishment I get pearls of responsibility and obligation.
KHAAAAAAN.
Do your inlaws like to drink? If so, buy a lot of whatever it is they like to drink. Makes things smoooooooooth.
Oh, there will be drinking. I’ve got a drinking course for each meal! I’m hoping everyone will be having naps by 4 thus giving me my personal time off to pretend my cat speaks in a french accent and read about lesbian pregnancies. My priorities are so sound.
Every time I see a video like this, I thank some higher power that I was born several years before video cameras became affordable enough for my parents. My brother, on the other hand, not so lucky. Every waking moment was documented from birth until my parents stop caring around 7 years old.
My parents didn’t get a video camera ’til my little brother either. However, that means there are no videos of me as a dumb (but calm) little baby, and instead there are A LOT of videos of me as an insanely jealous, 3 year old, new big sister trying everything she could to ham-fistedly upstage every video of said little brother.
Every time I see a baby, I am struck anew at how much they are like drunks.
Babies and college students are the same person.
This is never more apparent than when you watch a sleeping baby breastfeed.
one of my twins is the living incarnation of captain jack sparrow.
twilly is annoyed with EVERYONE today. And I’ve only been at work for an hour.
So begin placing bets now, which will happen first: 5 o’clock or twilly stabbing someone with a pen.
twilly, have a nice delicious cocktail with your lunch. Everyone will seem nicer.
Coolest mom ever right here.
FUN FACT. If anyone from my company sees me enjoying in an adult beverage at lunch I can be written up and sent to HR.
HOORAY!
Making fun of babies is pretty much my new favorite thing. Good thing that the specific baby’s parents agree. Besides generally calling him an asshole, my particular favorite is making pop-culture specific jokes towards him, then following it up with, “Oh, sorry, before your time.”
Needless to say, I wouldn’t have moved those pearls any closer.
Nice widow’s peak, Eddie Munster! Oh, sorry, before your time, baby.
I love the premise and hate to spoil the fun, but technically wouldn’t any/all pop-culture specific jokes directed towards a baby be before their time?
You clearly don’t love the premise.
The joke is not for the baby. It’s to subtly let the parent’s know their kid has an insane widow’s peak.
“Aw, does somebody need a hug? I sure could use a Japanese Robot Hug Torso right about now, amiright? Oh sorry, before your time, baby.”
- You
Baby Hitler is too short and chubby but already taking what’s not his…and rejoicing about it.
True story: One day when I was a cashier, I had a mom and a baby come through the line. The baby had a birthmark that looked very similar to a Hitler mustache. All I could think was, “I bet that boy can’t wait to grow facial hair.”
So that he could have a REAL Hitler mustache ?
Yeah, I’ll have to find a new job. You win, week.
Baby can’t even crawl? Feed him to a lion and get a new one.
“Stupid babies need the most attention.”