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Up until now it has been unclear why dating and marriage TV reality shows have yet to lead to many stable, long-lasting relationships. All the elements are there — being on TV, wanting to win a contest, maybe being able to continue onto other televised contests if your brand is recognizable enough — and yet contestants just can’t ever seem to work it out. Well, it looks like Fox has found the missing piece: DOING THE SHOW IN THE STYLE OF THE VOICE AND ALSO INCLUDING SOME DEFINITELY LOW-LEVEL CELEBRITIES! From Deadline:
Filmed in front of a live audience, each episode of The Choice begins with four eligible celebrity bachelors sitting in rotating chairs, turning their backs on the sexy singles looking for a date with them. In this initial “Blind Round,” each celebrity can only use his suitors’ voices – as they share information about their life, passions, turn-ons and turn-offs. When a celebrity bachelor likes what he hears, he pulls his “love handle,” spinning his chair around to bring him face-to-face for the first time with his potential date. If more than one celebrity pulls the handle, they must battle it out until the sexy single chooses a celebrity. Once each bachelor has his three hotties, the teams enter the “Speed Choice” round, where each woman has only 15 seconds to convince her celebrity to pick her for the final round.
In the final, beauty pageant-style round, host Cat Deeley–
ENOUGH! We’ve heard enough! We’re all on board and cannot wait to see these well-adjusted lovebirds support and take care of each other for the rest of their lives! You don’t even have to tell us anything about the final, beauty pageant-style round! We get it! It’s perfect! Just stop talking and put this TV show in front of our faces and LEAVE US ALONE!
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The Choice: Find Your Darl
‘When a celebrity bachelor likes what he hears, he pulls his “love handle,”’
Oh, c’mon, The Choice, make us have to work a little bit to make a raunchy joke.
If this doesn’t lead to Danny Bonaduce finding love, what hope is there for the rest of us?
The only reason Cat Deeley got the hosting position is because Joey Fatone found out he couldn’t be the host AND a contestant.
If Cat Deeley is leaving SYTYCD, things have taken a turn for the worse.
It’s all fun and games until Deeley accidentally steps on one of the contestants and/or rampages through Tokyo again.
(She’s Very Tall, is what I’m saying.)
Everything really is leading up to the hunger games.
Videogum Everywhere : THE CHOICE CASTING CALL
True story: I auditioned for Change of Heart when I lived in NYC. I was going to write a story on it and then read the legal agreement that said they would sue if you talked about the audition process, etc. I was going to duck out but decided to go through with it anyway because it was insane and hilarious and a good story. Plus if I left early I would have to go back to work. Basically I was the only female that wasn’t an aspiring boat show model in a leather bikini with feathers. So, pro tip: when you go, wear a leather bikini with feathers. Especially if you are in Midtown Manhattan. (Or just around and in general and not to any auditions as it the look is as practical as it is fashionable!)
videogum everywhere mission > national mortification
Give the guys some PBR and it’s basically every bar I’ve ever been too.
No dating show will ever top 12 Corazones, but this sounds just ridic enough to take second place.
Let’s flip this bitch. Put the so-called “hotties” in charge of choosing who they want, without being able to see them, but with the catch that the guys are all still low-level celebrities. Frankly, I’d be much more inclined to watch for the chance to see the look on a woman’s face as she realizes that she chose to go on a date with Dennis Haskins.
Edit: She has to go on a date with The Belding and Screech. They’re inseparable.
I got a Hollywood is Calling phone call from Dennis Haskins for my 23rd birthday. My brother bought it for me. I feel the need to share this every time the name “Dennis Haskins” is uttered.
…then they get to go on their first date, to an autograph signing at the local Chinese buffet.
I DEMAND TO KNOW THE CELEBRITY BACHELORS! Who will they be??? Members of NKOTBSB? Kris Humphries? Is it finally time for the return of FLAVOR FLAV to reality dating? How can you leave us hanging like that, Deadline?! How else am I supposed to know whether I should sign up to be a contestant? It’s got to be WORTH IT.
(By the way, hi Monsters! This is my first comment! I’ve been lurking for ages and ages, distracting myself from my terrible, mind numbingly boring job. I’ve been meaning to sign up for a while, and don’t really know why I hesitated. Y’all seem great! Looking forward to even more time wasted commenting! Cheers!)
Summer Estherson,
Welcome. Your use of capitalization was perfect, and despite this being your first post, it has already made you my new favorite commenter.
Sincerely,
Facetaco
Facetaco,
Oh my goodness, thank you! What a compliment. I’m blushing! I will strive to live up to your expectations to the best of my abilities. Thank you for the warm welcome. This has already made my morning of scanning through a PDF document immeasurably brighter!
Yours,
Summer Estherson
I agree. If you just read the capitalised text, you get an awesome summary.
I DEMAND TO KNOW THE CELEBRITY BACHELORS!
NKOTBSB?
FLAVOR FLAV?!
WORTH IT.
Excuse me, I have to go see a lawyer about making sure those are the words etched into my tombstone.
Mine’s gonna say “Here lies Facetaco, surrounded by his victims.”
Mine is going to say “Djfreshie: He lived…he played the Perfect Strangers video game…he died. Life went exactly according to plan.”
mine’s going to say “Let ‘er rip”
…because I am going to steal lesley nielsen’s.
Like, steal his epitath? Or are you actually going to have him exhumed and steal the entire burial plot? I’m fine with either one, I just need to know so I know where to bring flowers.
Mine will say “Born in the 70s, but sadly died in his 60s listening to music from the 80s”.
maybe just the headstone. unless I can somehow get “Queen Elizabethed” for all eternity.
Hi, Summer. I got here a month ago and just started commenting this week. Let’s be best buddies!
I think you mean BFFS? Thjis is the internet, let’s not forget that.
NY Mag has a good article talking about how this is probably Fox both thumbing its nose at NBC by near-parodying The Voice, but also stealing the part of The Voice that people find most interesting: the chairs turning around.
FOX is right, people are generally mesmerized by swivel chairs.
It’s only a matter of time before the hit CW show ‘Oh Sit!’ takes place on swivel chairs!
It’s because swivel chairs are another modern brainwave. It’s not a day well spent unless it involves another fight with an American.
do they all have to be hotties? can’t one of them be a lady with a good heart (i mean like her heart is very powerful from carrying around all those real woman curves)?
note: this is not to imply that curvy women cannot be hotties, because au contraire my friend
I read a thing where they SPECIFIED that the women would be hot. This is hilarious for a number of reasons:
-what’s the point of not being able to see them if there’s an assumption that they’re at least (empirically) a certain level of hotness?
-just a guess, but maybe the aging celebrities aren’t that hot.
-how sad is it that Fox basically says “don’t worry everyone, they’re hot”?
Fox is just too caring to set Brian McKnight up with The Dud
Awwww I don’t want to be set up with Milhouse!! — Rob Kardashian
“Everything’s coming up Milhouse!”
I’m a little dismayed at how far the term “celebrity” has fallen. Damn the liberal media.
Cee-lo Green, celeb judge on The Voice, said in response to a contestant’s rendition of Bon Iver’s ‘Skinny Love’ that he prefers “thick love”, which is just a very well crafted zinger. Now, we’re to believe it’s a coincidence that there’s suddenly a show where contestants pull a “love handle” when selecting their choice?? FOX, the people demand to know; just how much influence does Cee-lo Green have at your network??!
I really miss Elimidate, you guys.
me too. though when i think back on it, i can’t help but wonder if some of that good will was just an afterglow from Street Smarts.
No, Elimidate was perfect. Especially the episodes where the contestants eliminated themselves or got so drunk that they wandered off and left the group. Between this and Taradise, it was a glorious time.
No way, Blind Date was better! Those little air bubbles making fun of the daters were the precursor to snarky live blogging.
Blind Date was also a delight. I’ll even owning up to enjoying NEXT. But it was the total insanity of the drunken revelry of Elimidate in random cities around the country that really put it at the top for me.
Blind Date was good but Elimidate was the closest to Taradise we’ll ever get as a culture.
Fact: Taradise has scientifically been proven to be the apex of our culture.
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