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Unfortunately, I do not watch and have never even seen an episode of Game of Thrones. I know that I should! There isn’t one person I know who watches that show who hasn’t told me that I should also watch that show, but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. So sorry. Gabe isn’t here today, though, and I don’t want you to NOT have a place to talk about whatever happened (everyone’s eyes got poked out and then they all did it with each other in a steamy waterfall?), so here we are. What happened, guys? Who’s the king? What girl was the prettiest and what girl was the scariest? How many people ate the remains of their enemies? Did a thing happen differently from how it happened in the book and you’re upset about it? Did a horse fall over? I honestly have no idea what this show is about and I have only seen pictures, so please, talk amongst yourselves! Have fun!
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“How many people ate the remains of their enemies?” That’s not what happened at all. What happened is a completely nude lady gave birth to a smoke monster.
Was this a LOST prequel?
You can definitely tell King Joffrey is all kinds of fucked up when he didn’t take advantage of those 2 whores that were so nicely presented to him. I totally expected him to make Whore #1 use that staff of his on Whore #2 in a totally different manner than he actually did.
I agree with scooterbeanbag’s post 100% and the stag’s pointy antlers particularly concerned me.
Oh god yes, I was thinking “turn it around! turn it around!” the whole time
YES. samesies. and it was awkward.
Same here. Although we can’t be entirely sure that he DIDN’T use it in that manner…
jinx! I had the same thought
Yeah, I was tweeting about it with someone and then this happened. :/ DAMN YOU INTERNET!
https://twitter.com/#!/sodomy_bot/status/194356155705868288
I think they’re saving that for Game of Thrones: Band Camp Reunion.
Very true. He DID want to make a point to his uncle. I’m actually surprised he didn’t inflict the pain himself, but maybe that would be too much work for the little fucker.
Well, he has that whole “I don’t strike ladies” thing where he makes his Kingsguard whale on Sansa all the time, so maybe it’s part of that.
I had forgotten about that thing!
But not really more like OOOOH MY GOD I DON’T THINK THAT IT THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF THAT STAFF YOUNG MAN.
Apparently an insane mother and an uncle as a father really fucks you up sexually. #weird #notweird
Excuse me whilst I quote Eddie Izzard: “First rule of genetics! Spread the genes apart!”
Whew! I thought maybe I was the effed up one when I thought something worse was going to happen that what actually did happen.
Also, I think Joffrey will only sleep with someone from his own family, correct? Just like Mom? So, send in that cousin that sleeps with Cersei. He should work.
Gross. I’m going to go take a bath now.
I liked when Roger did LSD
NOT YET!
Oh GODDAMN IT I haven’t watched MM yet!
neither did I! You’re killing me here curtis.
Oh jesus! I didn’t even think when I made my hilarious joke. I’m such an idiot, I’m really sorry.
I’ve become the thing I hate.
Oh, I can’t stay mad at you!
Roger Sterling is Tyrion Lannister, correct?
Like, can someone just take a beheading for the team and kill that little shit Joffrey? I mean, they’d lose their head, but Joffrey would be dead, so…
Also, Tyrion. I love you.
And lots of WTFs on the smoke monster bit. Here’s another. WTF?
At this point, I’d say I’m somewhat accustomed to smoke monsters. But man, smoke monsters with skeleton arms that pull themselves out of the womb kind of freak me out.
some nerd (ha! aren’t we all) pointed out that it is not a smoke monster, but rather a SHADOW BABY! Spooky!
Just as long as Jacob doesn’t come with. Amiright?
Yeah, never trust a man with translucent eyebrows.
Joffrey definitely stepped up his evil game this week. That scene with the whores was difficult to watch. On the other hand, Tyrion just continued to be the greatest, although the line of the night definitely went to Bronn (re: Joffrey): “There’s no cure for being a c*nt”
Is anyone else that has not (or has) read the books wondering how Tyrion will react to this latest game upper of Jeoffrey’s obvious sadism? Tyrion is clever much more than brutal, but I kind of think he might up his own game. Of Thrones.
I can tell you that we are all in the same boat! In the books, they discuss getting a lady of the evening for Joffrey but get sidetracked and it never happens, so this is fresh for everyone. I honestly don’t know how it will play out, but I predict (please please please) more Joff slapping!
Yeahhhh my money’s on more than a slap. I think Tyrion is gonna straight up play the little fucker.
They’re really outdoing themselves in making Show Joffrey even more of a hateful monster than Book Joffrey! I could tell where that scene was going from the get go and was seriously grossed out. I really did think that stag scepter was going somewhere horrible, and who’s to say it eventually didn’t?
If I remember correctly, the thing that made us understand that Book Joffrey was definitively Evil and not just a particularly accomplished brat was when he killed a bunch of really cute bunnies with his crossbow and took apart their insides just for fun. Which was bad! But this was worse!
I’m kind of impressed (if that is the right word??) by how much they are consistently making all of the nastiest things from the books even nastier. It’s quite the accomplishment! Like the rat torture thing? Yikes yikes yikes. If they keep this up I will have a VERY hard time not barfing all over the place by the time we get to all that Ramsay Bolton nonsense.
My mom just borrowed the season one dvds from me (she’s read all of the books), but I still felt the need to warn her about the sex and gore.
The Hound! Finally!
Also, I heard that Jack Gleeson (Joffrey) is an absolutely lovely human being in real life who gets drinks thrown on him pretty much every time he leaves the house. Even knowing he is a supposedly a really nice person, I can’t guarantee I wouldn’t throw a vodka-tonic in his face if I saw him at a bar. Poor kid. He’s the Edith of Game of Thrones actors.
If I ever saw Jack Gleeson, I would throw nothing but effusive praise at him. The kid can act.
If there were people waiting outside my door to throw alcohol in my face, I would put up a sign that reads, “Please throw water in my face as a substitute for the alcohol that you’re thinking about throwing in my face, and hand me the glass of alcohol; which, I can assure you, will end up in my face, as well. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.”
Whoo-boy. Davos the Onion Knight is going to have some nightmares.
Also, my friend who has read the books is SO impatient! I haven’t spoken to her since last week’s thread, but she was totally pissed of at the show for apparently not laying Davos out on the Story Table for everyone to know everything about him immediately. “His fingers are off and he has them in a pouch around his neck and he touches them and it wasn’t in the show!”
I hope she’s happy. They FINALLY addressed Davos’ finger bones! Thank the gods! Thank the dragons! Thank the albino face trees! Everyone whose heads fell off are back on now that they’ve established the location of Davos’ finger bones!
I am the same way. But I also refuse to talk about it with anyone other than answering texts from friends who get confused about who is related to whom because I’m nervous I’ll accidentally spoil things. That said, I wish I watched it with people who haven’t read the books because it would be fun to see the looks on people’s faces during all of the holy shit or what the fuck moments, which happen every episode or so.
Davos is a great character. One of my favorites from the books.
Second this. Davos is like Ned Stark, but if Ned Stark had an ironclad sense of honor AND some common sense. It’s a magical combination!
As per the usual, Tyrion was fantastic, and Joffrey, as mentioned above, is all kinds of tyrannical and disturbed in ways the book made clear but–restricted by the obvious limitations of the medium–is really brought home when combined with the show. The staff! “Ouch”–the one prostitute. I could go without the gratuitous nudity (NO HOMO)….I’ve read the books and understand that there is MUCH more depravity mentioned within the pages of the series, but in the show it just seems too cheap and obvious. Oh well, that’s really my only complaint! And a complaint about boobs is really just a thinly veiled enthusiastic cheer because, hey! Boobs!
Yeah, there were several points during the episode where all I could think about was the SNL digital short from last week. “Bathroom break!”
Can we also take a minute to discuss Margery Tyrell’s Jetsons, 1960s futuristic neckline when she is talking to Littlefinger? Well done, costume designers!
What’s so nuts about Margery was that when I first saw her I thought, “Man, she looks familiar.” When I went to her imdb I had not seen her in any of her credits except for her one little role in Captain America as a pushy military lady with blonde hair.
But her profile is so distinct that it is in fact where I remembered her from.
And I kept thinking about how long she could keep a marble going around her neckline if someone dropped one in.
She was Anne Boleyn in The Tudors. I really don’t like her as an actress, but at least I know where to turn if I’m ever in the market for a ham-fisted portrayal of a scheming medieval-ish queen.
all of her costumes are BONKERS. I am looking forward to what kind of outfits Dany will have this season, not to make this into Fashiongum.
I’m excited for the Tyroshi, but not sure how they will pull them off without making them just look straight-up ridiculous! I have faith though, I’m really pleased with the way they dealt with Jaquen’s hair. I was worried about how silly that could potentially look, as well.
I often wonder if Margaery is intentionally trying to pull off the sexy look to overcompensate for being a Renly’s beard, kinda like “YEAH, my husband & my king gets all of this (but not really because he fancies my brother instead so I’m just gonna sit here and make all you bitches jealous anyway”
It totally works. She’s neat-looking. Liked her as Ann Boeyln as well for similar reasons. And what a great line to Littlefinger about not understanding marriage. For all the gratuitous nudity and torture, the fleshed out (heh) lady characters are super rad. And I don’t mind the nudity, I just want more Jon Snow. And some Jaime Lannister and some of my sun and stars.
I know! All I could think, though, was “I hope it doesn’t rain.”
“There’s no cure for being a cunt”
I didn’t know my ex-boyfriend was on the writing staff…
I think Gabe missed this weeks episode, you guys.
Did anyone catch Your Highness? It was on HBO right before Game of Thrones and *woof* was that awful. I’m wondering has anyone seen it and actually liked it? I couldn’t find any redeeming qualities in that movie. Just awful. Maybe it’s I’m not really into fantasy stuff like GoT (my girlfriend makes me watch it) but I have to admit the drama is expertly paced in that show. Anyways, if there is ever another WMOAT, I’d like to nominate Your Highness.
We actually saw that in the theater! I caught the tail end of it right before GoT came on. I laughed out loud when that one mean guy said, “It’s too late, the fuckling has begun.” The movie did make me laugh a few times, just because Kenny Powers is in it. But yes, it is stupefyingly horrid.
Did you notice that Tywin Lannister is in that movie, too?
Not until this very moment! I guess Walt Disney was correct: It’s a small world after all!
Both Your Highness and Game of Thrones were shot in N. Ireland. Not a small world but a small country.
I uh… that movie had like 5 seperate and wholely distinct rape jokes in it. Like, including the little boy rape joke? Too much rape, I think. Could have gotten by with less rape.
Btw, I love Kelly’s “Who am I?” word balloon for Joffrey, as well as the file name “gameofthrones_child1.”
Kelly should start a business of just creating the best JPEG file names
The barrel to the chest was also filled with mice? (I looked away for some of it.)
That was giving me serious anxiety because all I could think about was the rat scene from the “American Psycho” book and nooooooooooooo, not going back to that place
Wait, but was it? Or was it just heated and slowly burning you to death? I seriously looked away… [shudder]
Actually it made me think of 1984.
Oh and was that an actual torture method from back in the day because it seems like it could be?
So many questions about the barrel!
there was a rat inside it that ate its way through your stomach as the barrel heated up, yes.
also, i know in the Vietnam war POWs sometimes had baskets full of rats put on their heads….yeesh.
enjoy the rest of your day
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
See also: 2 Fast 2 Furious
admitting that you watched 2 fast 2 furious is a bold move.
2 Bold 4 You
GoT is great but 2Fast 2Furious beat them to it when it comes to rat torture. Maybe 1984 also. Can’t remember though.
Guys I figured out the mystery! Game of Thrones is really just a giant LOST flashback! Now we finally got an origin story for the smoke monster. The glowy cave was just a red herring!
Well there is that glowy thing in the sky so maybe this is what is under the giant cork in the island?!
Apparently Tyrion is officially my spirit animal because I also find that mulled wine helps put me to sleep.
ME TOO! I laughed at that as I sipped on my 3rd glass of wine
I heard mold wine. I seriously need to see an audiologist.
“Mold wine.” That’s HILARIOUS! A mondegreen! I love those. I, too, giggled as I was on my umpteenth Sunday Wine.
This episode totally convinced me to get my tubes tied.
Ain’t having no smoke beast erupt from MY hooha.
Unfortunately, smoke beasts are also expert tube un-tiers, so you’re pretty much fucked on that one.
Can I talk about how much I love Renly? Renly is just the greatest. Robert was the uncle that drinks too much at thanksgiving, Renly is the fun uncle, and Stannis is the stiff uncle who always has to talk about religion and make everyone uncomfortable. This is a dumb analogy, but I don’t care. I’m too smitten by Renly and his dope-ass crown to notice!
I love him too! I think he’s hysterical and he seems to enjoy being a King the most, almost like he thinks it’s kind of funny. If I wasn’t pledged for life to the King in the North I would totally support Renly!
uh, they really messed with the order of things with this, huh?
I feel like i’m among friends here, so I can say this. Who else felt like that scene with Joffrey (you know which one I’m talking about) was excessive? It seemed like the writers were trying to convince mythical viewers who were on the fence about that little shithead to really hate him. Absolutely nobody who had seen the first season would watch this episode and say “Wait a minute. I don’t think I like this guy!”.
Also, the disposable sex worker trope is something that really makes me uncomfortable.
I didn’t feel it was excessive. One nude lady getting paddled wasn’t anything too crazy nudity-wise. The violence was what made it unpleasant for sure. It illustrated that Joffrey is sadistic to a level that even surpasses any sexual urges or interests he may have. Pain and suffering satiate him. If anything, what he did was his version of ‘dipping his wick,’ while simultaneously sending a message to his uncle. Fucking douche bag kids and their crossbows.
“I don’t listen to Targaryen people music.” -Joffrey, Westerosian Psycho
I should clarify, I wasn’t grossed out by the nudity. The violence was what got me. The one thing that made the scene, I dunno, work (?) was the clear feeling that what we were watching was supposed to be horrific. Sexual violence always makes me deeply unsettled, to say the least.
I agree as it was harder to watch than the barrel o’rats… but wasn’t that the point? To show that this little fuck is absolutely over the top in awful?
There’s so much violence in this show. Horrible horrible violence, but it is always to prove a point and comes with serious repercussions… which is why I am okay with it and would turn off the channel and cry if it was on another show? This isn’t like systematic CSI-show violence that also exploits sex workers and ultimately desensitizes you, this is character-building awful violence that really REALLY lets you know how unbelievable and despicable the kid is.
Then to have the show’s voice of reason (Tyrion Lannister) be his court-appointed voice of reason and to see him (Joffrey) seriously freak out after being scolded in public… I haven’t finished the books yet but I sort of want something to happen where Tyrion gets to put the word out to torture and behead the little jerk.
Or as my friend said today… he’s going to die in a way worse than a pot of boiling gold on his head.
Interesting, I’ll have to give that a think.
As an aside, is it just me or are crossbows a sign of being eeeeeeevil in this show? This week of course, it’s Joffrey. Last week, that Lannister goon that shot Yoren.
What I find most interesting about Joffrey is that he enjoys giving pain indirectly. He orders others to be the ones actually carrying it out. I think the only time he actually did anything himself was to that Butcher’s Boy in season 1 (cutting him on the cheek or w/e)
I wonder if the fact that Joff is even worse in the show than he is in the books is a function of the fact that the actor looks a lot older at this point than the character is supposed to be.
In the books, Joffrey is pretty nasty for a 13-year-old. But now that he *looks* 18, maybe the writers feel like he needs to be even more of a sadistic prick?
Just a thought. I’ve been wondering about it.
HOTTEST IN WESTEROS POLL! S2, E4
1) Robb Stark – I’m sorry he is never leaving the #1 spot. He loves the sassy nurse lady who performs amputations! He looks dashing covered in mud and wearing 400 pounds of armor! He doesn’t believe in torturing prisoners!
2) Jon Snow – even without being in this episode I know he’s still part of the poll just by being beyond the wall and brooding and stuff
2) Renly – I think he’s hilarious and his scene with Littlefinger was perfect
3) Tyrion – he’s just the best and he saved Sansa and chivalry is always sexy
4) Gendry – is he like, 17 and I should be ashamed of myself? OH WELL
5) Bronn – I am not even attracted to him per se but I think he has the best one-liners and faces and the cunt line was my favorite of the episode
6) Davos Seaworth – I don’t know but he gives me the feels
What do you guys think??
Probably that rat in the bucket that was on fire, I would assume.
HA!
The Hound! Always the Hound!
Jon Snow #1!!!!!
I really need to know how old Gendry is. I think I might have a problem.
Me too! I keep expecting To Catch a Predator to come after me because he is probably supposed to be 12 or something.
According to IMDb the actor is 24 so I’ll just keep on lustin’.
He played Chris in the UK version of Skins.
YOU’RE WELCOME (said in the voice of the computer guy played by Jimmy Fallon on SNL)
I wish these were 2-hour episodes!!!! Also, did anyone watch Veep? What did you think?
“Do I look like a pimp to you?” “Yes. You look like a pimp.”
More importantly, “He is a dead now…”
I’m a little confused about something, maybe you guys can help me out.
Did they change the actor who played the mountain? Cuz I thought I heard that that guy who was picking people to torture was the mountain, but it was definitely not the same guy from the first season…
Yes, they they changed the actor, you are not nuts. He was either a pain in the ass on set or wanted to do other things, depending on what random internet posting you want to believe. (those are your only two options)
I believe they did, yes.
(Sorry for the lack of research to back up my claim; I’ve read on several sites that they did recast and that was in fact The Mountain but I’m too lazy to look it up right now. Too lazy to google? Yes.)
I love how Arya always ends up associating with other awesome people; just one of the reasons why her arc is my favorite. We got Syrio, Yoren, and now we’re getting Tywin and Jaqen! Yessss.
Anyway, I loved the episode overall, save for the abusive Joffrey parts. I already know that he’s the spawn of Satan.
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I’m reading the book while watching the show. Can there be a rule against book-spoilers?
I don’t have HBO. I bought Season 1 of GoTs based on how greaty you guys kept saying it was. My boyfriend and I watched it together, and we are hooked!
His totally cool parents now let us go to their house on Sundays so we can watch Season 2 (thank God they don’t watch it with us. I don’t know how squeamish I’d have felt if I watched that shadow baby scene with his parents!).
Part of my joy in this series is that I will now understand all the references that you guys mention in your posts. YAY!
one time a horse fell down because a giant man chopped it with his giant sword.