“These shows are basically teaching a skank to believe ‘I have to drink Jagermeister shots out of another skank’s infected double-pierced belly button or I’m not good enough!’”:

For someone who runs around obnoxiously proclaiming to never watch these shows, I certainly managed to get all of the references. Maybe I’m Ambien-watching MTV late at night and not remembering it. Yeah, that has to be it.