
Yo, please RT!
Whattup beautiful young women who think it’s cool to take your clothes off for HBO and young men who are interested in ecology instead of wrestling! Today I want to rap at you about a cool new toy hitting some of your local independent underground toy stores. It’s the Katniss Everdeen Hunger Games movie tie-in Barbie doll, yo! The Girl Who Was On Kindle Fire! #SoRad. Hey, Easter peeps candy this from the toy’s designer (via EW):
“I chose to dress her in the outfit she wears during the games, since this is where all the non-stop action takes place and is instantly recognizable by fans,” says Greening of the Katniss Barbie. “Of course, she wears her mockingjay pin proudly on her lapel.”
Yuuuuuup. Non-stop action, fer sure. That’s a totally cool way to talk about teenagers slaughtering each other in a post-Apocalyptic dystopian nightmare. “Action and excitement, dawg!” This is swagger! Check out a full image of the hot new Barbie that is totally respectful to the reality of women’s bodies and the heroism of female counter-revolutionaries after the jump:

Someone should make a Hunger Games cootie catcher. “Will you date me?” “Will you hunt me down in the jungle and shoot my face with an arrow?” Hey pass that bug juice! Swagger.
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Her friend “Skipper” takes on a whole new level of irony now that she had to have her leg amputated due to an infected arrow wound.
“I know I’m supposed to be thinking of Katniss’ reserved strength and fleeting individuality under a tyrannical regime, but those boots!!!”
If there is one thing I think of when I think of the Hunger Games, it is definitely mass consumption of material goods!
call me when they release the full set that comes with the Malibu Corvette.
I’m sorry, but that’s no ‘doll.’ That is a Hunger Games Barbie Action Figure.
If Barbie’s hungry, maybe she should eat some Oreos. That always turns out well, right?

Ah, but is it edible?
I get how awful it is to market a Barbie doll of a child who is forced to kill other children to teach us a lesson about the evils of unrestrained capitalism, but at the same time I think it’s a great idea to give girls something badass to play with. I was lucky enough to have older brothers with cool “boy” toys, but if I was stuck playing with a bunch of regular old Barbies as a girl I would have sold my grandmother for something like this.
Lizzie Borden Barbie?
I just stole my little brother’s Voltron and told him he never had a Voltron.
Between this and Old Man Fatima’s comment, I think I just had an epiphany: little sisters get WAY better toys than little brothers! Little sisters get to play with all the best Transformers and G.I. Joes, and little brothers are stuck with the Robin and Professor X “action” figures.
Plus, when you are the only girl you ALWAYS get to be She-ra while your lame old brothers fight over who gets to be He-Man and Skeletor and who is stuck playing Ram-Man or whatever.
I did have the Transformer that turned into a VW Beetle… so, yes. But I used to just play spa day with my Barbies, which basically amounted to dying their hair with my mom’s lipstick. I think that’s when I got the Transformer, actually.
Transformer is a funny name for a children’s toy. Transformer.
(No I am not stoned. Just writing code. Transformer.)
So much cooler than my Winston Smith Ken.
Says you. Your parents smoked a lot of cigarettes to get you that doll. Show some fucking respect.
Uh, yes, of course you are right, that doll was double-plus-good.

I’m printing that out and putting that on every single wall in my house. That is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life.
That is the highest compliment I’ve ever received in the entire history of words.
Just don’t expect this Katniss to kneel down to sing that lullaby to Rue. She can’t! No knee joints!
(Actually, if I remember my sister’s Barbie’s correctly, don’t they actually have freakish knee joints you can super-hyper-extend?)
Yes! They also have arms you can tape firecrackers to!
And pink jeeps that can be driven off of objects of varying heights.
And houses that can be kamikaze’d by X-wing fighters.
And heads that you can interchange with Ken dolls!
I love that this was tagged Mitt Romney.