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Shepard Fairey, the street artist who allows you to make the joke “oh check it out, is that a new Shepard Fairey?” whenever you see anything graffitied on a wall, along with Brian Grazer and Ron Howard’s production house Imagine Entertainment, are going to be teaming up to do a new film adaptation of 1984. Which is fiiiiiine, I guess. Whatever. We’re all exhausted, let’s not pretend like a new film adaptation of 1984 is the worst idea we’ve ever heard. We’ve heard so many worse. It is what it is. Hollywood be remaking and adapting. “So it goes.” – George Orwell, 1984. (Correct.) But there is ONE THING. From The Hollywood Reporter:
Imagine and Fairey were pursuing Orwell’s estate for the rights to 1984 and discovered that Yorn was simultaneously seeking the rights. The companies then decided to pair up.
The producers are out to writers to find a take on the material before setting it up at a studio.
THE PRODUCERS ARE OUT TO WRITERS TO FIND A TAKE ON THE MATERIAL?!? Well why didn’t they say so!
The Ministry of Tooth
Kristen Stewart lives in a society called Wolfiana and works at the Ministry of Tooth, where she spends her days covering up the fact that vampires exist and simultaneously spreading lots of mean rumors about vampires that aren’t even true at ALL. She is ok with it though because ever since she was little she was told that vampires murdered her family. Werewolves are in charge of everything, basically, and they hate the vampires because the vampires are better looking and smart. But even the werewolves are under the control of Big Brother, played by Ryan Gosling, (who is secretly a vampire?). Anyway so Kristen Stewart realizes she’s in love with a vampire, Robert Pattinson, and she’s like, “What do I do? This is against the rules in literally a billion ways, and what about my dead family?” But she realizes that vampires didn’t kill her family, WEREWOLVES DID, and that makes her into a strong woman and she runs away with Robert Pattinson by the end of it & they get married and never even talk about Wolfiana anymore.
The End
I will take my billion dollars in $10s.
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1984 was a good book, but what about A Brave New World, Hollywood? Huxley was MUCH more accurate about the future than Orwell.
All the upvotes! Brave New World is spookily on point. I also love that this is the first comment on this article. Good work, facetaco!
They should just make 1Q84 instead.
Make it so Winston is an alien instead of a mutant.
Winston should definitely have to fight a giant Master Splinter in the end, in like a big gladiator arena. When monster Splinter comes out of his enclosure, Winston can be like, “Rats.”
Why stop at Orwell for the source material? Why not cultivate and integrate H.G. Wells’ and Orson Welles’ works? Who can tell them apart anyway?
Orwell, Wells & Welles present: The Magnificent Animal Machines!
OBEY ORWELL WELLS AND ORSON WELLES
I hope it’s just a movie about the year 1984.
From the Wikipedia page for the year 1984:
May 2 – The Liverpool International Garden Festival opens in Liverpool.
May 14 – The one dollar coin is introduced in Australia.
August 4 – The African republic Upper Volta changes its name to Burkina Faso.
November 25 – Band Aid records the charity single “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” to raise money to combat the famine in Ethiopia. It is released December 3, 1984.
A++ I’d watch the hell out of that movie.
Watch it, shit, I lived it! As a small child who doesn’t remember, so yeah, let’s see that movie!
Oooooorrrrrr we could just write a movie about whatever WE were doing in 1984 and market that! I’m guessing a lot of “learning to walk” and “gestating”
BOOO YOUNG PEOPLE! GET OFF MY LAWN ETC!
Which character will Ashton be playing?
Ethiopia maybe, or else the Liverpool International Garden Festival.
SPOILER ALERT: They DON’T know it’s Christmas time at all. Because they don’t use the Gregorian calendar, they have their own, so dates and months and even years are very different. And also because they’re more worried about not dying from starvation.
Tonight, thank god it’s them instead of you.
“Dear Jesus, thank you for definitely the best calendar (Gregorian) and food, including facetaco, may no one eat him ever, even if starving, Amen.”
Hot Tub Time Machine 2
this is the one that takes place in Portlandia, right?
I was there for the last time Hollywood did this and all I got out of it was a catchy Eurythmics song. (Lyrics were something like “Doot doot doooh, sexcrime, yeah!”)
What if 1984 took place in 1985?
Or 2984???
Shit just became doubleplusreal.
Score.