Photos
The Discovery Channel has “terminated its relationship” (read: we are not idiots, you fired him) with Bear Grylls! From Yahoo! (via RatsOff!)
Discovery Channel has terminated its relationship with Bear Grylls, the British television personality and star of the network’s Man vs. Wild. The severing of the relationship, which began back in 2006 when Man vs. Wild launched on Discovery, comes after the network has allegedly been unable to get Grylls to participate in two unannounced projects he was contracted for, say sources. The sixth season of Man vs. Wild wrapped in August.
Are you guys NUTS? Don’t fire Bear Grylls! And I’m not saying that as someone who cares one way or the other about Man Vs. Wild. I haven’t been able to watch that show since this. But, like, the dude squeezes the water from elephant shit into his mouth FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY. He gave himself an enema on television to show you how he stays hydrated. And who could forget the very special 127 Hours tie-in promotional episode when he sawed his own arm off with a dull blade just to show you that Aron Ralston wasn’t a fluke and it could always be done if necessary? (That one may or may not have actually happened. There is no way for us to know.) The point is: never fire Bear Grylls FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY. Bear Grylls is just another word for “nothing left to lose.” The dude doesn’t want to film a couple of crappy specials that no one would watch anyway? DROP IT! Let it go. Move on with your lives while you still have them. Unless you’re just so desperate for conversation topics at your dinner party in heaven with Einstein, Beethoven, and Rodney Dangerfield. “Funny story, Ms. D’Arc, I’m actually here because of a boring contractual dispute with a fucking lunatic. Please pass the cloud wine, Mr. Rogers.”
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 Bear Grylls Gives Himself An Enema. The End. |  Tiny Little Boy Vs. Wild |  Will Ferrell’s Episode Of Man Vs. Wild Looks About Right |  Will Ferrell Vs. Wild |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
Am I the only one who thinks “Bear” is much too rugged a name for an Englishman?
Considering we’re about to elect a president named Newt, I’m not sure any American is in a position to judge.
Wait, when did Newt win the nomination and then the general election?
As a Canadian, I shall judge at my leisure.
I’ll see you a Bear and raise you a Myke Hawke: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mykel_Hawke
Your WHAT?
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Your, possessive. It was a cock joke.
Tiiiiiiiiiiiiin roof! Rusted.
Who’s supposed to drink Marie Osmand’s pee now?
Oh, wait. Probably Marie Osmand.
he’s currently still in the 26th floor conference room at Discovery HQ. when they shut the heat off over night he made a fire with his contract. for breakfast he ate the banana peel in the waste basket and is propping himself against a desk chair in order to drink his own pee.
if he’s able to crack the Wi-Fi password, he plans to write an Op-Ed for the NY Times describing why he’s not working at Discovery anymore.
They should hire Michael Scott instead. #RIPMichaelScott
Never forget.
Oh god, I hope he doesn’t go on a pee bender.
He’ll be OK. I just read that he is going to be the new face for a line of stripped down hotplates for easy camping called Bear Grylls’ Bare Grills.
Seth Meyers, is that you?
Really?
I heard it was a strip club called Bear Grylls’ Bare Gyrlls.
I feel like Bear Gryll survive this.
I heard it was a dental jewelry store dealing strictly in ursine clients called Bear Grylls’ Bear Grillz
I just Marie Osmonded because of that joke.
It’s okay, guys. I found the perfect replacement.
This definitely wins as favorite. LaughingOutLoudly
So Discovery Channel announced they’re going to stop working with Bear because Bear refuses to work with them? Sounds a lot like how I “break up” with girlfriends.
The untold story in all of this is that the picture Gabe used in his post was taken right after Bear Grylls rammed himself into a tree, and right before he snapped the cameraman’s neck. Art imitates life!!
I don’t know if I can Bear to live in a world without Mr. Grylls on the teevee.
Well, you’re just going to have to Drink Your Own Urine with it.
It’s too bad we won’t be able to get up in Bear’s grill anymore.
“WHAT?” — Beethoven at that dinner