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Michael Bay, director of Transformers, discoverer of Megan Fox, champion of Shia Labeouf, friend of Brett Ratner (I assume), visionary, is finally taking his big screen personality into all of our living rooms with a reality show! Great! Just what we all need! Michael Bay to have more money and TV to have more garbage! From Deadline:
A&E has put in development an unscripted reality series executive produced by feature director-producer Michael Bay. The untitled project, a competition reality series that promises to test the strength of the family unit like never before, is being produced by Bay’s Platinum Dunes and Shed Media US (Supernanny).
It sounds super secretive, and it already sounds super good. Love the idea that it’s going to test the strength of the family unit — because the strength of that thing needs to be testest constantly — but HOW is he going to test it exactly?! Some guesses:
- A family is told that they have a long-lost son, and then that long-lost son is going to show up and their house and he’s going to be a transformer. The family will be tested on how well they welcome the transformer into their home and at the end of the week they’ll be told that it isn’t their long lost son, it’s just a transformer.
- Megan Fox flirts with a dad.
- The new girl that Michael Bay got to replace Megan Fox flirts with the same dad, right after Megan Fox flirts with him.
- A family is knocked out and then dropped onto the set of Transformers and you see how they react.
- A family has to either starve their youngest child for one day, or watch Transformers 1 on a loop all day.
Any of those would be perfect. I hope this TV show is picked up forever and ever, and it never ends, and when we all get to Heaven Michael Bay is the EP of all the TV in Heaven.
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So You Think You Can Blow Up The Moon?
Goddammit, I was all set to avoid Bay’s show. But if it’s So You Think You Can Blow Up The Moon? I am in.
i would like to put the project in turn around until Newt goes out their to plot his space station
Many have tried.
when you are the moon…
o wait god damnit this woulda been a better one to post…
I’d like to see him direct a few H2 documentaries on 2012 or some simple segments on Ancient Aliens first… just to get his feet wet.
“Did the Mayans have the ability to destroy the Moon and keep it secret? Did they get these ideas from ancient space travelers? We just don’t know.”
Gay marriage is going to be legalized.
How dare TV do this to us right after taking away Bear Grylls. He is the only one who could teach us to survive this likely terrible show that I don’t have to watch and wont watch but will complain about anyway!
I’m going to start drinking my own pee now, just in case.
Shit just got realtv.
A family has to either starve their youngest child for one day, or watch Transformers 1 on a loop all day.
I like this one. They could call it BayWatch.
i wish i could give this 10 thumbs up
A family will be read ludicrous scene descriptions to determine if it is in reality a scene from a Michael Bay movie or completely made up in America’s newest game show: Fake or Bay
But Michael Bay movies are completely made up as they are fiction, I mean puns
On a recent episode of past Videogum contributor Julie Klausner’s How Was Your Week podcast, she had an author on who wrote a book about the early day (the 80′s) of MTV (the book ends when the Real World starts, aka the end of an era). In the interview the guy revealed that David Fincher and Michael Bay both started out as music video directors (I knew that of Fincher, but not of Bay). Apparently Bay had a huge chip on his shoulder about FIncher because everyone regarded bay as ‘Fincher-Lite.’
Man alive, Bay sure showed him.
It was this book, you should read it it’s very good
being referred to as ‘Fincher-Lite’ is probably the greatest honorific Bay will ever receive.
Real Housewives Of Tit Explosions On Robot Freeways
this is great. just great, stuff. right on.
i look forward to the sequel:
Real Housewives of Tit Explosions On Robot Freeways: Placement of the Products
Thus cleverly avoiding any copyright lawsuits in regards to Pink Floyd’s “Placement Side of the Products”.
What about vintage late 90s Michael Bay?
Tan And Dirt-Covered Ben Affleck Looks Wistfully Into The Distance As Shit Blows Up
You left out: Michael Bay, childhood memory rape-rapist.
I would watch a show called “Michael Bay Blows Shit Up” if:
- all he did was blow stuff up – no talking, no voiceovers, just Michael Bay lighting fuses; and
- he agreed to quit making movies forever.
Somewhere in this there’s a marry/fuck/kill joke waiting to happen.
Who will win Licoln Six Echo’s heart?
Jordan Two Delta…. you’ve kept it tight. Lima One Alpha… we no longer want to hit that. GET OFF MILF ISLAND!
Competing families put their hands on a car, and the last person left with their hand on the car wins it for their family as well as a handsome cash prize. Each round is 7 hours, and at the end of each round, one of the following things will happen:
1) Nothing happens, a new round starts.
2) The car blows up.
3) The car turns into a Transformer, which then blows everything up.
4) The Japanese attack in their WWII Mitsubishi A6M Zeros, bombing and crashing into the car, blowing everything up.
5) Nicolas Cage jumps out of the car trunk, screams at the contestants, pulls out a grenade and blows everyone up.
6) A meteor falls out of the sky and blows everything up.
7) Will Smith and Martin Lawrence drive an H3 into the constestants, the H3 turns into a Transformer, crushing Smith and Lawrence inside it, then the Transformer takes its wrecking ball scrotum and smashes it into a main gas line under the car and everything blows up.
I think scenario #5 has enough legs. I would watch a weird show of Nic Cage randomly jumping out of cars and screaming in front of strangers… Yeah, I absolutely would.
The question is would you watch a weird show where Nic Cage might randomly jump out of a car and scream at strangers, but it is in no way guaranteed.
If there’s one thing TV is missing today, it’s reality shows exploring the difficulty of grandparents living at home with their kids…WITH 10 POUNDS OF C4 STRAPPED TO THEIR CHEST! Oh shi — (insert recycled Transformers explosion sound effect)
“Autobot Swap”