Fuck it, this is a Paula Deen blog now. She’s the best. All the Paula Deen News That’s Fit To Sautee In Butter And Cover In Heavy Cream And Roll Up In A Puff Pastry, that’s our new motto. Here’s a photo of her at some Whole Foods opening or something, because if there’s one thing we know about her it’s that she’s a bad person all about good, healthy food and that’s just how we all think of her now because it makes sense and not just because of how insistent she is on it for her own financial gain. Oh, and look, here she is with your boyfriend. WHAT A HUNK! You love it. He’s always doing this at dinner parties and your girlfriends come up to you in the kitchen and whisper “where did you find him, HE’S A KEEPER!” Congrats to you on your love. Congrats to Paula Deen on every single thing. Caption this nice handsome photo!

Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. YOWZA! (Via TheSuperficial.)

Comments (73)
  1. Well defined nipples.

  2. I tried to tell her my shirt wasn’t made of licorice and yet she kept eating.

  3. She thought when people called him a butter face that his face was made out of butter

  4. What a couple of boobs.

  5. i bet she’s thinking something really racist.

  6. Boner: Impossible.

  7. It gets butter.

  8. Paula Deen, pictured with the “before” model for the Paula Deen Diet.

  9. “i still prefer Guy Fieri’s boobs, cuz they have more fat, which makes em more delicious.” – Paula Dean

  10. Paula_Deen_Topless is quite possibly the most horrifying name for a photo.

    • i’m going to take this idea to the Food Network Test Kitchen with some assorted ingredients and see what I can bake up…and by “Food Network Test Kitchen” I mean Photoshop and when I say “assorted ingredients” I mean this picture and the weirdest granny porn I can find.

  11. As it happens, I am cooking with butter right now.

  12. Paula Deen’s Lean Cuisine.

  13. “Whoops, sorry Paula, just dropped my condom.”

  14. we know what she’s thinking….

    “queer.”

  15. Ironic Chef

  16. My girlfriend thinks the same with me. She is 24 years older than me, lol. We met at Ag’eM’in’g’le The premiere club for older women seek younger men to meet and share your interests and sometimes butter and cookies and sugar candies and cakes and pie lol.

  17. I lost my appetite.

  18. A couple of butterfaces.

  19. Ab / Flab

  20. March 6th is Paula Dean Day.

  21. Why is it that the fact that he’s not wearing a belt bothered me the most? There’s other things, like practically everything else in this picture, that should bother me more, right? Nope. Belt.

  22. A REAL Southern gentleman would have some whipped cream and butter on those

  23. InDeencent exposure

    Yeah… that was a stretch.

  24. “Hey, Paula, Dia-BEAT-this!”…* and with that, teacherman rode off into the storied annals of videogum. When monsters spoke of him, they did so with a mix of respect and regret, knowing that they had been in the presence of greatness and knowing, just as well, that his was a level of upvotes that the universe would never again allow to be repeated. And so, with a sigh, they would sip their gin-and-juices, thinking about what once was, and what could never be again. *

  25. He’s got 2 days, 10,000 dollars, and a dream… next on Nipples Impossible.

  26. My eyes just unsubscribed from my face.

  27. Let’s take a brief moment to gasp in wonder at the overwhelming enormity and impossible beauty of the universe.

  28. Talk about Type Horny Diabetes, ya’ll.

  29. “I have nipples, Paula. Can you milk me?” – This douche trying to save the day when they realized Whole Foods stopped selling raw milk.

  30. Moar Buttah

  31. And now your highness we’ll discuss the location of your hidden… rebel… base…

  32. But the boobed white man proved an exotic spectacle, and Bubba’s party was a great success, after all.

  33. Heard nipple slips were a great way to get even more undeserved attention.

  34. She’s only interested in him because she heard the word beefcake.

  35. Considering robbing the cradle, but only because she heard that’s where it’s easiest to steal candy.

  36. I wonder if Paula Deen sees all men as juicy steaks or buckets of mashed potatoes and gravy. Because she looks like she’s ‘devouring’ that guy with her eyes.

  37. “My boobs are bigger” – Paula before getting her left foot amputated.

  38. Is that a stick of butter or are you just … is that a stick of butter?

  39. Paula Deen and my boyfriend, standing abreast.

  40. Insulin is for Lovers

  41. The Ludovico technique can now be successful showing this image alone.

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  43. I’ll show you my diabetes if you show me yours.

  44. Dia-BOOBIES!

  45. DEANER: impossible (obviously the best comment)

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