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It’s hard to believe it’s almost been a week since the Academy Awards. You guys still buzzing or what? Who are you still wearing?! Well, at a certain point we will have to hang the pageantry back in the closet. Life is for the living, after all. But don’t worry, they haven’t stopped making movies. They continue to make them. And each of the movies in this week’s trailer round-up will win an Oscar next year. For sure. Consider this post my Oscar Ballot.
That’s My Boy
As someone with his fair share of FATHER ISSUES, I totally support the basic premise of this idea, and while the actual execution here looks quite a bit broader than my tastes usually lie, I could still be convinced to see this, but my main question at this point is why Adam Sandler is doing that voice? He for real could do such a good job as a past-his-prime classic rock douchebag absentee father, but so why is he doing the babytalk voice? Acting!
Despicable Me 2 Teaser
In theaters July 2099.
Frankenweenie
I saw a teaser trailer for this ahead of The Artist last week, and it was just this moody, dark, kind of intense montage set to music that didn’t give you any sense of the movie’s plot but it was a great trailer! This one is obviously a little more straight-forward, but I do like that it’s in black and white. All in all, the marketing behind Frankenweenie is way more interesting and daring than you would expect from an animated movie for children, especially one called FRANKENWEENIE.
Bernie
This looks good! It’s got a real Coen Brothers vibe. I’m glad they fired the voice over guy halfway through the trailer, though. “He was a real COW SOUND EFFECT. She was an absolute BING BONG!” Hahha. Take it easy, voice over guy. Shirley McClaine looks like she does a good job of her job in this. The first time I ever saw her act in anything was when I was a kid and she starred in a made for TV movie about reincarnation and apparently it moved me very much because I cannot hear her name without thinking “that’s that wonderful actress from the thing I saw when I was a boy.” Oh, life!
Touchback
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t go back in time not possible. This movie looks like a movie I will not end up seeing, but I do think it’s an interesting twist that he has to literally choose whether or not to jump into a horrifying injury? Like, usually the person learns that they like their life the way it is and that is when the genie reappears and is like “you finally get it, kid!” But the person doesn’t actually have to go through the pain and trauma of going through the bad decisions or crippling accidents a second time. That is an intense thing to do. Will he do it? We might never know!
Neighborhood Watch Teaser
Sure. Next trailer please!
Piranha 3DD
Haha. Oh brother. I mean, perfect. My favorite thing about this movie is the tits how they actually bothered to put in a “realistic explanation” for why the CGI piranhas broke into a water park. “Fish get confused!” They sure do!
The Avengers Trailer #2
I didn’t actually watch this trailer because I’m already on board with The Avengers so at this point any new information will simply detract from the excitement and surprises of the movie-going experience. Was it good? It was probably pretty good because that movie looks good.
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First of all NSFW, some of these, which I
learned the hard wayenjoyed.Second of all, who directed that fucking Adam Sandler movie, and why the fuck didn’t they, at any point in time, say “Hey stop doing that fucking idiot voice, this isn’t Little Nicky 2, it’s goddamn annoying.”
This is not a joke. I honestly believe Adam Sandler got stuck in that voice. And there’s some biological reason that he now cannot go back to speaking normally.
Well there’s only one way I know to fix it, you and me gotta get shrunk inside this tiny spaceship and injected into Sandler. We’ll travel to his voicebox to figure it out and solve it. If I get back together with my estranged girlfriend Meg Ryan in the process, well all the better.
If “they” remake Inner Space and cast Adam Sandler in Martin Short’s role, I’m going to be SO MAD. Even more mad than I will be if they recast Dennis Quaid’s role as a dragon from an online cartoon.
Okay, but just understand that nothing you say or do or feel is going to stop me from auditioning to play Dennis Quaid roles, and when I last went in for head shots I told the guy straight up “dude, make me appear quaid-esque” so yeah, I’d say I have a PRETTY good shot.
SHOOT I JUST GOT THEM BACK AND I DIDN’T SPECIFY DENNIS
RANDY NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jim Carey is the same way. I watched I Love You Philip Morris and you could see Ace Ventura and Fire Marshal Bill show up every now and then.
Look, if I was Adam Sandler’s dialogue coach, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of vocal warm-up exercises and then me saying, “OK, you’re going to speak like a normal adult, don’t worry.”
Missing the most amazing trailer I’ve seen all week (unless it was posted last wk): http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ul4CZrnEFxU
‘Falling Down’ was a good movie…
I wish we could go back to the point where the worst thing wrong with America was the bad service at fast food burger chains.
And now is the time when Hollywood unleashes the mega-suck on us.
BTW I’m going to have Jeremy Renner’s babby.
You misspelled ‘gay-by’
Bernie should be good, it’s Richard Linklater, he’s good at making movie
Me Richard Linklater, me make movie
with apologies to Huckabest
It’s based on a true story, which Skip Hollandsworth wrote about in 1998, here: http://www.texasmonthly.com/cms/printthis.php?file=feature4.php&issue=1998-01-01
Read it! It’s really good!
You should watch the Avengers trailer if you enjoy trailers featuring an eight-foot tall man
Or the lovechild of Craig T Nelson and Carrot Top
Or a Robot Butler with Martin Sheen’s stunt double for fancy dinners.
Well. I can say one thing for certain already. This scene in the movie is ruined for me already.
This guy also looks abnormally big.
This concludes our presentation of THE ONLY FOUR ARROWS YOU’LL EVER NEED
One more. We have Jon Heder in a superhero V-Neck.
No love for the lady with the awkwardly-drawn right eye?
Yolandi?
HOLY SHIT, GUYS. HOLY SHIT!
that was the most amazing thread ever.
(Jack Black + Roy from Wings) + (Matthew McConaughey + Gary Cole) = Bernie
Do you mean Thomas Hayden Church, Spider-Man 3′s very own Sandman?!
No, I meant David Schramm.
Sounds like your knowledge of Wings is awfully Lowell.
All I can hear right now is the sortof sputtering half laugh half sneeze thing he did before he said anything.
LOWELL. That’s right.
Sorry, my Wings knowledge has been wonky ever since last week when I watched an old vhs tape I own and it had ABC’s The Shining limited series on it. Steven Weber is so awesome in it.
A fan-made John Carter trailer came out this week too, and it completely obliterated all of the wonky, clunky terrible official trailers from Disney by actually being compelling, informative, suspenseful, etc.
I feel bad for the creative team behind John Carter. The marketing team really dropped the ball, and the coverage has been god-awful.
“We can’t call it ‘Princess of Mars’ because guys won’t see anything with ‘Princess’ in the title, which might appeal to girls, but we can’t risk that, as boys are our target demographic. We can’t call it ‘John Carter of Mars’ because as ‘Mars Needs Moms’ showed us all, Mars doesn’t sell. So we’ll call it John Carter. Very exciting. Just like Michael Clayton.” –Disney Marketing Guy
They should have been more obvious and called it J.C.
Here’s the trailer: http://youtu.be/-BxeHQY1NuM
That is better. It gives a much better idea of the story. But my favorite thing about both trailers is Kashmir. Led head.
Kate, you’re the best.
I’m sorry Kate, but Godzilla 2000 and Puff Daddy killed Kashmir forever. it doesn’t even exist anymore. Going forward you’ll need to select one of either “Bron-Yr-Aur” or “Custard Pie” as good Zep songs to enjoy in Trailers.
djfredhie, I’m happy to report that I have not heard those yet. And thanks bijeans!
so are we gonna talk about how apparently Neighbourhood Watch is a British film?
That That’s My Boy trailer makes me uncomfortable to my core, but I guess that’s what you get when Adam Sandler bares a little bit more of his true soul.
Though I enjoy the Neighborhood Watch trailer but my mind’s not made up until I hear Richard Ayoade’s dialogue.
MOSS! I can’t wait for a trailer where Moss speaks.
I’m so conflicted about that. On one hand, MOSS. On the other, ugly hand, Jonah Hill.
i do enjoy Superbad a lot. I think it’s because there are so many funny people Jonah Hill is well balanced out. So maybe that will happen here? Moss makes everything better. Especially his hair.
The only thing I liked in Superbad was Emma Stone. Actually I think it was that movie that started my disdain for Michael Cera.
I’m not going to lie, I’m not going to see any of those movies. Maybe a couple on cable, but only if I’m sick.
The football movie is kind of a neat concept, but I just really like time travel movies. I think I’ll watch 17 Again, which is surprisingly great. Or something else. Maybe something with Dr. Who.
there was a Nicolas Cage movie with a similar premise, but set at christmas.
but yes, Doctor Who for all!
It’s called The Family Man. Show some respect.
True story: My friends and I tried to see Pootie Tang the night it came out and every single time we tried to get tickets, Mr. Moviefone would say, “You have selected The Family Man.” It was really weird, partially because The Family Man had been out of theaters for MONTHS.
I want to time travel back to 2000. That was a fun year.
Funny you mention it, but all I could think about during the Touchback trailer was “Wait, isn’t this basically just ’17 Again’ but without any of the humor?” (admission: I’ve seen 17 Again more times than any heterosexual male ever should, but it was on HBO non-stop for about half of 2011 and it *is* surprisingly great).
Oof. I respectfully disagrizzle. All throughout that football trailer I kept waiting for the thinly veiled religious themes to come in, because it looked to me like such a Soul Surfer-quality movie. “…But then I figured out that what’s REALLY important to me is my family and Jesus!”
Poor Christopher Lloyd.
Rich Christopher Lloyd, probably.
1. Sandler and Samberg, together at last!
2. Despicable Eh.
3. Frankenweenie looks good. Black and white cartoons are weird.
4. I’ll watch Bernie.
5. Touchback: Like 17 Again, but with football.
6. I would rather be eaten to death by piranhas than see that movie.
7. How come superheroes are always supersexy?
This is very late, but when I watched the Bernie trailer I kept picturing that episode of The Office when Andy, Jim, and Pam watched the Jack Black May/December romance movie.