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I didn’t happen to catch last night’s GOP debate because I never knew that there was going to be one, my bad, and also I had to watch Monday’s Gossip Girl because everything has gotten so annoying on that show, and also I’m not going to be live-tweeting it so WHY BOTHER, but because of that I didn’t hear about any of it until this morning. It looks like no one said anything too insane? I haven’t seen any blog posts about anything SUPER terrible, so everyone must have been right at their normal levels of hateful, bigoted, and crazy. Good for them! Did you guys all watch it? Which one of them do you want to vote for now? Is it still a tie between Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich? That’s fine, don’t rush the decision. I’m sure you’ll be able to sort that out over the next few debates. Especially with help from questions like this viewer-submitted one, asking the candidates to describe themselves in one word. Great Q! “I want the one who doesn’t know whether to describe himself with an adjective or a noun!” – America.
“Intolerant.” “Delusional.” “Hate-monger.” “Definitely racist.” Weird how they didn’t pick any of the right ones! But what an exciting GAME they’ve begun. WHICH WORD WOULD YOU CHOOSE?! I would chose either “bedtime” or “sleep.” (Via GotchaMedia.)
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I was expecting something more like:
Racist
Repressed
Malleable
Horny
Yes, in that order.
I would go with:
Buttface
Buttface
Buttface
Buttface
(why mess with the classics?)
I’m thinking about replacing all of them with “Jabroni”
One of my favorite words.
How are you feeling this morning, my friend?
I just don’t understand how people see with all this light
(yes I just stole a joke from Auntie Mame. I have no regrets)
(but really I want to curl up in a cave somewhere)
Auntie Mame? I love you so much.
Um, I just did an image source for Auntie Mame and learned this.
Search not source. I guess that’s my cue to get coffee.
This had better not be some beautiful fever dream.
This is how I feel inside
It looks like no one said anything too insane?
I don’t think I was watching the same debate, in that case.
Also, I am very disappointed no one went with the crowd favorite “sexcougar”.
There was *a lot* of insane stuff said last night. I screamed very loudly about 4 times. Pretty sure the echoes of “are you fucking kidding me??” are bouncing around the West Coast.
Also, I miss Herman Cain.
Highlights:
– Newt Gingrich talking about nuclear weapons exploding inside major cities.
– Romney criticizing Obama for not having enough troops on the front line and ending the Iraq war.
– The pro-coal and anti-union ads that ran between segments… Then the “move to Arizona” one.
– Any and all discussion about birth control that was followed up with the inference that it is the same thing as abortion. Ron Paul explaining that all birth control pills can be used as morning after pills because that’s how it works and getting booed.
– Romney’s obsession with the Olympics.
– Santorum saying he will immediately repeal any and all civil rights allotted to homosexuals the minute he gets into office.
Seriously. Fuck these guys. They are dangerous, they are insane and the fact that anyone supports them AT ALL scares the crap out of me.
halfway through I just started looking for Ashton Kutcher. We’re being punked, right?
…Right?
I want to know what the fuck Gingrich was talking about when he mentioned the nuclear weapons going off in cities? Like are they being stored there and we didn’t know about it… or is he saying all the cities are going to blow up in a nuclear war?
And if you’re going to store nuclear weapons that are just ticking time bombs, waiting to go off… why would you pick the most densely populated areas of our country? Why not store them in rural Alaska or Nevada or sections where not many people live?
I honestly want some answers about that.
If I was “resourceful” I’d take this clip, and then have it cut to a clip of Charlie Sheen at the end saying “Winning!”, then I’d add a laugh track. Then I’d post it to Youtube and it would get 1 Million views because it is both hilarious and relevant.
My take:
Confederate
Jagoff
Compatible
Menage
Jagoff!
Jagoff?
“Alive.”
*applause*
That doesn’t apply to Ron Paul…or barely.
Or Romney. He would have said ‘semi-realistic synthetic humanobot 4000 but that’s too many words, he’s good at calculations in that respect.
Tangible.
Male
How many of you think Santorum is a repressed homosexual really? I am not so sure…he talks an awful lot about gays but I think he’s just crazy. Not sure he’s “repressed”…
I don’t think he’s a repressed homosexual, but it takes a very sexually-repressed person to base their whole presidential candidacy about wanting to control what they perceive to be ‘sexual deviancy’. But now I’m thinking about Santorum’s sex life, so I’m ending this comment before I think about it further and vomit all over this keyboard.
I dislike the tendency to accuse all homophobes of being repressed homosexuals, because a) I think it comes really close to saying that being gay is some kind of punishment, and b) it gives them an excuse for being hateful close-minded assholes.
But I agree with GSATW, that Santorum is repressed about sex in general, and that’s why he’s super obsessed with what everyone else is doing with their genitals.
Its like in Dale and Tucker versus evil when the evil guy turns out to be half hillbilly I mean what was that about?
I smell a new monster party game! I’ll start:
Callipygian
Pneumatic.
Not the boob kind.
(that is supposed to be a fart joke. I should not do this hungover. I will sit in the corner now)
You were really funny last night, though… if it makes you feel better. (Though aspirin and some Gatorade might make you feel better than compliments.)
facetaco: “Delicious”
insufferable
Rich and/or white.
You don’t want to know the word I think of when I hear the name Santorum.
Is it Santorum?
Poor Ron. He’s about to get a hat trick for unsuccessfully running for President. He nailed his word choice.
Ron Paul, a Harold Stassen for our generation!
santorum
ignore this, meant for the one word description. please move along.
I apologize, my misdirected santorum has made a mess of this entire thread.
Monsters – describe yourself in one word! I’ll go first. “Caucasian”
Caucasian
Lemon-fresh
Facetaco
I’m happy this exists. As the last generation to know the dark times before the internet existed, I’m glad to know my future children will be able to see and create things like this, at least until the robot uprising.
gaylord
Zesty
Ginger
Courage
Unemployed
Wish they asked this question when we still had Cain and Bachmann.
Cain: Digiorno.
Bachmann: Ohhh, just one word? Very Very Qualified.
A bunch of upvotes for you Feelgood, both of those have sent me into a fit of giggles.
Perry: Scotch.
the best.
I’m surprised Newt didn’t say “CheddarBayBiscuits.”
True story: David Gregory on the Today Show this morning said something to the effect that last night Romney “tried to bloody Santorum” in the debate and I spit coffee out all over myself because I just heard the words “bloody Santorum” on national TV.
True story? Great story.
Courage. I would describe myself as courage.
The cowardly dog?
SO f’n dumb!!!!!!!!!
I liked the part of the evening where they mentioned birth control and the audience booed!
i told this fact to my office-mate and his response was:
“it is as if birth control was giving an unpleasing performance!”
“Catholic-est” – Santorum
MADMAN. Followed by fierce cackle.
Dusty
Vagina-scared
$10,000
Mistresses
Oh wait, how about:
Reagan
Reagan
Reagan
Reagan
“Resolute”???????????? Yeah, he’s accessible. A real “common man.” I’m sure he’ll definitely be fine on Super Tuesday.
The audience’s “Huh?” reaction was priceless. Slow-claps all around!
Every time Newt smiles like that, he really resembles an overgrown baby who has just pushed a smaller baby down.
“cheerful”
One word that would describe yourself?
Courage!
Calm down. We’ll all be fine.
fun
funner
funnest
admittedly not so fun