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There’s no audio in the following clip, so you can’t tell what the news broadcast is actually supposed to be about, or who this guy is that they’re interviewing about “[illegible] Spending Report” and guess what: WHO CARES! Because this clip captures something far more noteworthy: a woman texting while she is walking and falling PLUM FLAT ON HER BIG OLD FACE. Hahahahhahahahha! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hahahaha. You know what isn’t news? That people falling down is still and forever the FUNNIEST THING EVER. Bridesmaids was funny and all, ladiiiies, but how is it that we’ve never seen a feature length film that is just people falling down over and over? Oh wait. I guess we’ve kind of seen three of them and they’re hilarious. (Is Jackass 3D hanging in a museum yet? Because that movie should hang in a museum. I am not joking. One of the greatest works of art I have ever seen.) Anyway, enjoy this clip of a woman falling down on the news. Haaaaaaa. “Can’t make drinks 3night have a friend in towhoaaaaaaaaa!”
“LOLOL OMG ROTFBIFDOTN!” (Via TheDailyWhat.)
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(sad trombone)
This is actually her audition tape for a Pink Panther reboot 4 tha ladeez.
I blame it on the fact that, earlier in the day, she had a whiskey drink, a vodka drink, a lager drink, and a cider drink.
But, she didn’t get back up again!?
oh Danny Boy.
“You aren’t being careful on the ice!” -Kelly
She did it to herself, she did. And that’s what really hurts.
Unfortunately, this news segment ended before they could pan out to show the rest of the crowd that voluntarily decided to lie on the ground in the wake such a terrifying revelation.
BUT WHAT DID SHE SAY?!?!?!?
She was totally reading about Uggie.
Clearly he was talking about the Mario Spending Report.
Mario never spends those coins! He just gets 100 and then I guess throws them away or something.
No he puts them in the swear jar
No, he saves up for 100 coins and buys an extra life, to preserve his youth. The guy hasn’t aged a day in 30 years. News Now is going to blow this story wide open.
STOP IT! Its not funny when people fall down and hurt themselves, this may happen
Apparently, the bone on the far left should be in the empty space on the right.
Yes but if you are texting, then it’s funny because I don’t care about your health, why are you texting and walking?!
My sympathy ends when “senseless” becomes “makes perfect sense.” Like…there’s been a serious rash (gross) of train-related deaths in recent years, and they always explain that the person had their Headphones in and may have been looking at their phones while crossing the train tracks…
Well okay, look, everybody from here on out just listen very carefully because it will save your life, and it’s just one very simple thing that is really really easy to do: “PAY ATTENTION TO THINGS.” Sure it’s tragic when a young person dies, but also, what would these people do in that wild, just fall off cliffs or into the mouths of Lions? It’s life: Pay attention to things. When you die, you get to stop paying attention.
2 statements,
1) I was feigning outrage, I did find the video funny (good find internet!)
2) When you say gross, do you mean the disgusting use of the word rash or 144 accidents exactly?
1) I know and used it as a perfect springboard to state my recent thinking about how absolutely idiotic modern urban people are and how unless we know them personally, we should be thankful that evolution is taking care of probably the same people that nearly clip me on my bike every single morning because they simply HAVE to text someone, probably to type “1m n car, drv1ng dngersly”
2) Please don’t tell me that 144 is an accurate number you researched of headphone-wearing train deaths. That is way too many.
No, a gross is another term for a dozen dozens.
Ew gross!
Also, that looks very painful and I’m sorry for your injury.
I have my earbuds in a lot, but when I’m walking across streets and stuff I’m SUPER-wary of drivers. I check all the ways cars can clip me, what cars look like they’re about to make a right, and when cars are waiting to turn left or right at an intersection with a light I will run across half the crosswalk to the section of traffic that is waiting at a red.
Part of it is because I hate waiting on slow people when I am driving, and part of it is because I really don’t want to get hit by a car. When I was a young, invincible and really fucking dumb teenager (shudders) I was like, “So what if a car hits me? I’ll just sue them and then I’ll be rich. They have to stop. I’m gonna walk at whatever pace I want.”
As an adult my stance on getting hit by cars and the like has changed. “I don’t want to get hit by anything because I want to see what happens to me over a long period of time.”
I walk around with noise-canceling headphones most of the time, and somehow AMAZINGLY I haven’t been hit by a car truck train or moose. And I can tell you, without looking information up anywhere or doing research or studies or anything like that, that the reason we prevail in this tough tough world of automobiles is that when one of our senses is pretty much gone, it is THE WORST IDEA to completely absorb your other MORE IMPORTANT sense in some other activity.
I am also very impatient when it comes to slowness and I also used to trust cars because I was an idealist and I thought people were great things capable of super safety, but after been a cyclist for many years, you start to recognize that everyone who drives a car is, during those periods when they are driving only maybe, the worst most dangerous erratic people in the world.
If it gets uncovered that the woman recently won a sticker design contest only to have her title stripped away for questionable content, and that her husband is wanted by the police, I will be very upset.
Thank you for the daily serving of lulz. I would image Gabe is a fan of Wipeout on ABC as well, or as I call it “The People Fall Down Show” (my bartender thought that was very clever thankyaverymuch)
ROTFBIFDOTN = Rolling On The Floor Because I Fell Down On The News
You know that scene in Beetlejuice when he says, “I’ve seen The Exorcist 157 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it . . .”?
Well that’s how i feel about this!
Gabe, Jackass 3 may not be hanging in a museum, but it did have a special pre-release screening at the Musem of Modern Art.
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