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In Michigan last night, during the Super Bowl, Republican candidate Pete Hoekstra ran an ad attacking the incumbent senator, Debbie Stabenow, that is just crazy racist. Like, oh man. Like, whoa. The ad features a “Chinese” woman riding a bicycle through a rice paddy who explains in broken English how China is going to take over the United States thanks to people like Debbie Stabinow and how that makes her so happy. Did I mention that the music playing in the background is only half a degree away from just straight up being a racist Ching Chong jingle? No? Well the music playing in the background is only half a degree away from just straight up being a racist Ching Chong jingle. The point is, you should definitely vote for Pete Hoekstra if you are a terrified white person filled with confusion and hatred, and here is just one of the reasons why:
“Debbie Spenditnow.” Good one, Pete Don’tspenditnow. (What’s going on there? They have the same name basically? Good job. Good stuff. Vote twice.) My favorite part of the ad is probably the Hoekstra campaign’s explanation of the ad:
The Hoekstra campaign called the advertisement “satirical” and explained the broken English in the video as a reflection of China’s increasingly competitive education system.
“You have a Chinese girl speaking English – I want to hit on the education system, essentially. The fact that a Chinese girl is speaking English is a testament to how they can compete with us, when an American boy of the same age speaking Mandarin is absolutely insane, or unthinkable right now,” Hoekstra spokesperson Paul Ciaramitaro told POLITICO. “It exhibits another way in which China is competing with us globally.”
AHHHHHHHH. HAHAHAHAHA. AHHHHHHHH. Yeah, no, totally. VERY satirical. VERY good exploration of the issue of EDUCATION. Everyone’s first reaction is going to be how smart this young woman is, and what a potential leader for China’s bright and competitive future. (And don’t even get me started on how ABSOLUTELY INSANE the idea of an American *cough*WHITE*cough* boy speaking Mandarin is. No, this ad is perfect.) The Hoekstra campaign doesn’t even need to rest its case because everyone is just like SUSTAINED. WE CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH. (Thanks for the tip, @malgs.)
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This commercial is sucky sucky.
i disagree – i love it long time
Wow, that accent is not even nearly offensive enough.
That makeup job is incredible. Jerry Lewis is unrecognizable.
Too bad Mickey Rooney is not still alive, he would have nailed it!
There’s a reason he was the Biggest Star In The World.
From 1939 to 1940, that’s 2 decades!
Sure it can be said that buying Super Bowl ad time might not be the best example of Peter Hoekstra’s “Spend It Not” fiscal philosophy, but people need to give him credit for casting his Asian mistress rather than paying for professional talent.
Everything he learned about China he learned by watching Vietnam war movies.
As Dana Gould once said, that’s like a drawing of a picture of a hologram.
“We’ll be wanting one of our guys to drive the actress everywhere, obviously.” -Hoekstra, pitching this ad
“But don’t make her mad, or she’ll karate chop us.”
Ugh. I feel like I just made a racist joke and justified it by putting Hoekstra’s name on it. Not proud of this.
Go to bed/apply to write for “Family Guy,” me.
This woman is obviously an American doing a very poor “Chinese” accent. Also, I kind of feel sorry for her; note how she kind of looks down in shame for a millisecond after she mumbles “your economy get very weak.”
Yeah, I’m sort of worried for this actress – must be kind of hard up to have to take this work, right? Also, dunno if anyone knows of the comedian Stewart Lee, but he just came out with horrendously xenophobic ‘satirical’ piece on Scotland, and I’ve been trying to explain to my English friends why exactly some parts of it are not exactly satire. Have a read here
Oh wow. Yeah that guy’s a dick. He actuallly wrote, “As someone who once thought he was Scottish, I understand more than anyone Scotland’s anger at the English.” Um, no dude, I don’t think you do, actually.
What the hell Stewart Lee?! I literally just watched a video where he tore into Top Gear’s BS “it’s just a joke” excuse for all the fucked up shit they say, what a hypocrite.
She may as well have been saying “Ching-chong ling-long ting-tong” with subtitles underneath. This whole commercial is just very very poor. Poor taste, poorly executed, poorly defended.
I accidentally downvoted this comment, when in reality I laughed very loudly at my desk. Apologies!
“I want to hit on the education system, essentially.”
TWSS?
I ALSO want to hit on the education system. Hey, what up, Chinese education system. Saw you across the room and I knew I had to come talk to you, girl.
BREAKING: Hoekstra campaign manager speaks!
I think her broken English really is a testament to the Chinese education system. And I have a guess who her professor was.
“No, no, no. CUT! Goddammit, how many times do I have to tell you to switch your L’s and R’s? We can do this all night, if that’s what it takes!”
If I were Chinese I don’t really know how I’d feel
I have a feeling that part of you would think this ad was sort of sweet, but part of you would be a little sour, too.
“This ad got it all WONG!” (everyone boos and throws tomatoes)
can’t believe you guys took it “there”
Funny thing is, Pete Hoekstra really does spend a lot. Also, is a racist.
I’m for Hoekstra: He’ll make sure our kids learn Mandarin in school so that America can compete globally.
(I am sure I am drawing the right conclusions.)
I just hope Debbie Spenditnow didn’t accept that case of Coke the lady sent her as a thank-you. Pretty good odds someone put pee-pee in it.
The website is so, so much worse.
It’s my birthday soon, and my “wish list”, as it were, WAS St.Vincent’s “strange mercy” on vinyl. Now it’s just a thick 10 foot rope and a sturdy ceiling fan. How the fuck is this “ok” to air on television?!
This reminds me of the scene in Rambo 2 where Stallone mumbles “expendable” and the girl with the accent pronounces it better than him. for those who haven’t seen it; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ysnmj2YJPzQ
Someone should tell that to all of the American children I work with who can get away with calling me names in Mandarin because they ALL speak Mandarin. Or Cantonese. Or Vietnamese. Or even Spanish, “the language of the ghetto”. Just kidding, they can’t call me names in Spanish because I already speak it. You would think that one of the first things you learn in Politician School would be to not assume that everyone else is as ignorant an asshole as you are, but obviously Republicans were all out sick with apathetic bullshit flu that day.
Do you guys remember the 80s when everyone was all like, “Oh no the Japanese are going to take over America?” I remember it. It made Michael Crichton so made he wrote a goofy book about it and they made a movie with Sean Connery. “The Japanese don’t fix the blame, they fix the problem, kohai.” It was soooo stupid back then and that crap is just as stupid now. “Oh no the chinese this the chinese that.” Luckily Michael Crichton moved on to hate global warming and stuff because there are bigger fish to fry. Then he died. They (global warming alarmists) lied, he died. Sad facts.
Correction: “It made Michael Crichton so MAD” not “made” yeesh now you know I’m ESL
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DEY TOOKER JIIIIIBS! TIKERTUCKERDOO.
So does he wish that American (ie white) kids could speak Mandarin? Because unless I’m mistaken, this guy represents the same party whose former chairman made fun of Jon Huntsman for being able to speak Mandarin.
This makes sense because when I think about China’s economic superiority I immediately picture rice fields, what with America’s infrastructure still being based around agrarian living and all.
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