Fox’s talent show X Factor is something that I legitimately know almost nothing about. If you can believe it. You probably don’t know anything about it either? I think it’s the same thing as America’s Got Talent, and I would definitely guess that if I were on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire and were out of lifelines, but I would be nervous. So anyway, news broke today (I got an “Important News” google alert about it) that three out of the five X Factor personalities WILL NOT be returning with the show next season! Nooooooooooo! That’s almost all of them! From Deadline:
Not only are host Steve Jones and judge Nicole Scherzinger exiting from the Fox show, but now a Simon Cowell insider just told me that his longtime friend and American Idol colleague Paula Abdul won’t be returning as an X Factor judge next season.
Simon Cowell insider? Simon Cowell hardly know ‘er!!! Hahahahah. Anway, NOOOOO, take Nicole Scherzinger if you want, BUT SURELY YOU MUST LEAVE PAULA ABDUL! Our nation’s beautiful princess! Devastating. This news is actually kind of interesting to me — not “interesting” in a way that makes your brain grow, but “interesting” in a way that makes your brain shrink? — because that seems like a crazy thing, to get rid of almost all of the people on whole dumb show! Right? WHAT WILL THEY BE REPLACED WITH? Who would they have to replace them with to get you to watch this show? These are my choices:
- Host: Kurt Cobain
- Female Judge 1: Miss J from America’s Next Top Model
- Female Judge 2: Carrie Brownstein
- Host: Different dogs every week
- Female Judge 1: Courtney Stodden
- Female Judge 2: More Sand
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL X FACTOR! Good luck with your TV show, Simon Cowell!