Oh, hey! Remember that mayor from East Haven, Connecticut, who was so racist this week? Joseph Maturo Jr.? Well, that clip when “viral” (CNN’s word) and made what had been a small local news story into a big national news story, as things that go “viral” so often will, and so now poor, so totally racist Joseph Maturo Jr. is not only fielding critical inquiries from his down-to-Earth local news team, but also from the shiny-faced big boys from CNN and what have you. Well, good. It beats another report on “parents, find out how much arsenic could be in your baby’s legs,” or whatever. To recap: the Federal Bureau of Investigation arrested four East Haven police officers on charges of racial discrimination against the local latino community, and when a local news team asked the mayor what he was going to do to reassure and improve the lives of his latino constituents, he said that he was going to have tacos for dinner, or maybe spaghetti. Haaaa. Naturally, his office has since received more than 500 mailed in PROTEST TACOS! Unfortunately, of course, Protest Tacos almost never achieve their stated goals due to the fact that they are just as delicious as Regular Tacos. Joseph Maturo Jr. has apologized for his comments, because at the end of the day he is a human being living in 2012, so even if he doesn’t know that you shouldn’t make some crazy racist statements as the mayor in response to a legitimate FBI-involved political/racial scandal in your city, he at least knows that YOU BETTER ‘POLOGIZE! And then, when pressed by CNN cameras*, he even went on to explain what he was trying to say, and that’s when shit got real racist all over again:
So, the reason that Joseph Maturo Jr. in response to the question “what are you going to do for the Latino community” said that maybe he would just get tacos for dinner was because he, personally, as a white man, in a SEAT OF POWER, doesn’t feel SO RACIALLY THREATENED in his OWN CITY that he can’t GO GET FOOD AT A RESTAURANT. What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck is even going on in that dude’s BRAIN? Buddy! The FBI didn’t arrest four of your police officers for racial discrimination against WHITE MAYORS. What is he even talking about? Who on Earth was worried that Joseph Maturo Jr. didn’t feel comfortable going to get dinner somewhere? It’s also worth noting that this is basically the equivalent of the I Have a Black Friend Defense, but it goes even further in a kind of novel and amazing way. Because this is basically the I Don’t Have A Black Friend But I Would Be Allowed By Society To Have A Black Friend If I Wanted One Defense. Good defense! BANG BANG BANG GOES THE JUDGE’S GAVEL. America’s mayor. Your boyfriend.