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Here we are, everyone. The night of the 2012 Golden Globes, hosted by Ricky Gervais. OH, WHAT A NIGHT! Remember last year when the thought that Ricky Gervais was hosting the Golden Globes was actually an exciting thing that maybe could’ve made the event a whole lot more bearable? Weird! Now look where we are! What a difference a year makes, especially when you are a jerk who is constantly given platforms to never shut up about it. Oh well. We’re still going to enjoy our night, RIGHT?! Watching the Golden Globes together?! Something we and the Hollywood stars dream about all year long?! LIKE THE FAMILY WE ARE? YES! So please, first, refresh your memory on the nominees and remember that every time Bridesmaids doesn’t win, a woman is made to feel less-than by a man. And second, please join me and each other in the comments for some Golden Globes HANG TIME! I hope you have your fancy clothes on! LET’S GET THIS IMPORTANT HOLLYWOOD AWARD CEREMONY PARTY STARTED!
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Why haven’t I seen Ryan Gosling yet??????????????????
He’s too busy under my ball gown
Where is Fassbender????
It like our boyfriends are trying to break our hearts.
Yours & Nightmare’s question, two very good questions
Reese Witherspoon looks good. Red is her color.
Seriously, she was looking supes cute. Her and Michelle Williams have been my fav so far.
Helen Mirren looked amazing, as uzhe.
She was like a real-life Jessica Rabbit. I loved it.
Is JHutch there?
I repeat this question. Asking for a friend.
Next year, when he’s just a little bit more legalicious.
Asking from jail.
Wow, the NBC patter is SUPER awkward.
Look it’s Bryan Cranston! WHERE’S AARON, DO YOU THINK? WITH HIS FIANCEE SOMEWHERE?
Yes, but he’s thinking of you the whole time.
I am digging the sexy Bryan Cranston beard, bt-dubs.
I still think of him as the dad from Malcolm in the Middle, so…not working for me.
Hal is my dream TV husband. Not kidding.
My actual husband is Phil Dunphy. Also not kidding. Teach is Phil Dunphy IRL.
Mine is Marshall on HIMYM.
Mine is… not… real…
D:
“Aaron, what are you wearing?”
“It’s like, a Prada or some shit, yo.”
He’s prepping the Ciroc afterparty.
I’m still watching the HORROR SHOW that is this Green Bay/Giants game, so if I randomly cuss at anyone tonight, please know that it’s not really ME saying explicatives to your face very loudly… it’s the girl who wants to burn Eli Manning’s house down. Her name is Britannia and she is a BITCH.
Hey, do you guys remember how we all became friends watching the Emmys or the Golden Globes or something and now we’re the Super Exclusive Best Friends Exclusive Club?
NEVER FORGET!
I think it was the Globes! It was the night Kelly’s future husband won! (NEVER GIVE UP KELLY! If I’m an extra on Breaking Bad this year, I’ll put in a good word with him.)
But yes! NEVER FORGET
I’m here… better late than never!
Hi fellow Packer fan! That was easily top 5 worst games of my life. But look on the bright side! Downton Abbey is new tonight!
That IS good news! Would we, as Packers fans, hate this game MORE than the NFC Championship game back in 2008? I’m gonna say no, because I’m pretty sure I actually cried after that game, but I’m just checking.
I almost wept too, but that game was depressing because the victory was in their grasp and Favre frakked it up. This one they were really never in the game. So 2008 was a shocking pain, this was a growing numb feeling that they were going to lose.
Ladies, what is your favorite and least favorite body part? Asking for Juliana.
On me, or on RDJ? Because my answers are none, and all, respectively.
Countdown blooper, very good start.
Ricky Gervais appears; everyone thinks, “Oh shit.”
We should play a drinking game where we take a shot every time Gervais makes a Tebow joke.
(Nope, we’d die.)
Angelina Jolie just had a delayed laugh and it was perfect.
Norbit joke. TIMELESS.
Hola, Antonio Banderas!
This monologue needs more Brendan Fraser
I wonder if Ricky Gervais will continue to be irreverant…probably not.
Pissed off / Bored Amy Pohler is the best
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey’s bored faces during Gervais’ monologue win the Golden Globes of my heart.
Jodie Foster looks amazing.
She weathered that awful joke well, too.
“My dad always has crushes on lesbians” — @babyfriday
I love the celebrities that aren’t afraid to not laugh at Ricky.
That was impressive stink eye by the girl in green next to Steve Buschemi.
AHHHHHHHHHHHMEGANMCCARTHYAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
oops, Melissa McCarthy I mean.
Do you think she’ll be my BFF?
Wash your hair, Johnny Depp!
Why isn’t Ricky razzin’ him on his hair?!
J Depp’s hair holds the secrets of Hollywood.
Needs more jokes about Bronies
Clive Owen alert!
“Take a joke, JDepp.”–me
“No.”–JDepp
Johnny Depp is doing a great impression of Johnny Depp!
Gerard Butler looks like a sex predator in a Lifetime movie. I like it. I like it a lot.
Go away, Jonah Hill.
I can’t upvote this enough.
I want him to fall down a well.
Baby Jessica is a monster?
Christopher Plummer was amazing in Beginners. No joke.
Beginners was so fucking great.
!
Between Chloe Moretz, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, and George Clooney, it’s amazing there’s not a whoopie cushion on every seat.
BEGINNERS! HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO
Hi everybody! serious question: I didn’t see last years ‘golden globe awards’ so I guess I’m ‘out of the loop’ but I herd there was some controversy?!?! What did r-gervs say exactly to make everyone go ‘OHHOOOOooooo!’?? was it that bruce willis is ashton kutchers dad thing? no way anyone found that ‘scandalous’ right? because of how tame that is/was? right? like right this second this dude with mila kunis is talking about how afraid he is of gervs and I just don’t understand what is happeninggggg.
ill be by the video pizza if you need me.
Yeah, it was blown way out of proportion. But he is supposedly “controversial.”
I love you ghost boners
YAY CAPT. VON TRAPP!
Do you think Ewan McGregor will be my boyfriend if I ask nicely?
He’s in a movie with Fassy later this month! We can double date!
Fun Fact: Ewan and Ryan did Stay together. No Fassbender though.
I meant to downvote that. Only because Fassbender needs to be in everything but mostly me.
That was super gross. Sorry guys.
ADORKABLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to see Zooey Deschanel is finally not holding back her adorkability. GET IT, GIRL!
I hope Laura Dern will trade bodies with me, like I asked her to.
If Tina Fey and Amy Poehler work really hard, some day they’ll be as good as whoever these women are that keep beating them in awards shows.
Ashton and Zooey look great since they filed for divorce.
Poehler, robbed again. BS
This is a request for a .gif of Tina Fey creeping into the shot of Amy Poehler.
Whoo!
“Does anyone know how to post videos to Facebook?”
ROBLOWEILOVEYOU!!
Who are you guys watching it with?
What, this wasn’t an excuse to post this? What are you talking about?
WAAAAAA!! Where did you get that picture?!?
I also sent it to your twitter. New pic! eeep
I’ll have what Haymitch is having.
I’ll have what Katniss is having. It looks yummy!
Katniss really doesn’t drink alcohol…BORING!
Well she needs to stay steady w/her bow.
I hope you don’t mean Peeta, bc I know a girl who will cut you for that. I’m not even talking about Katniss
Um…who are you talking about? #askingforafriend #fromjail
“The Golden Globes are boring. Let’s change it to the channel that shows re-runs of the fight to the death our evil dictator makes children compete in for sport.”
Jesus, you two, look better. (Not possible)
Throw it on the BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPER REEEEEEEEEEEEL
Julianne Moore is so high you guys.
What was that girl just doing? Who was that girl?
What is going on?
There’s a “Golden Globes Girl” who is someone’s daughter. It’s a weird nepotism thing and way for the young girl to get a break or the like.
Well she was LOVELY
Here’s an article about that: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Golden_Globe" Miss Golden Globe
I’m thinking Tom Pranks is involved.
Rob Lowe’s improv skills are tight! LOL, Spielberg!
If Mildred Pierce beats Downton Abbey I’m throwing away my TV.
Look, stars, reading lines is your only job.
#telepromptersnafu2012
#neverforget
YAY COUGARTON ABBEY!
HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA
Somebody translate that into British for me.
I say!
LORRY LORRY LORRY #obviousjoke
I am glad that someone is finally giving it to HBO in the minseries department.
Like giving them the business.
It’s 500 for snuggling, 1000 for kissing, END OF LIST
What’s Golden Globe?
Oh my god, you guys! All this time I thought it was called Downtown Abbey! I assumed it was about a woman named Abbey trying to make it in the city.
WHERE ARE LADIES MARY AND SYBIL???
WINSLET WINSIT.
Low-Cal Calzone Zone
Kate Winslet is flawless. I saw Kate Winslet wearing army pants and flip flops… so I bought army pants and flip flops.
“Does anyone have Gabe Delahaye’s number? I need to ask him something real quick.”
Hey look, it’s Gabe’s girlfriend!
Padma, Freida. He has a thing for indian women.
I wanted to make an erection joke, but then felt gross. So I’ll just tell you I thought about a joke & it will slightly less gross
midnight in paris had better win
That was a great movie, but Beginners was AMAZING.
I agree, but at least Baron Von Trapp won.
Midnight in Paris was SO good, but man alive does Woody Allen hate women.
I wrote a compare and contrast paper on that in college! Woody Allen vs. Spike Lee!
I love when it’s a commercial break!
#totinossponsoredpost
My mom is talking about which celebrity’s body she wishes she could have.
Send help.
Someone call up J Hud
GET OFF THE STAGE, NORMALS.
Are you kidding me with this A Night of Betty White.
Hey there Jeremy Irons………..
Jeremy’s . . . iron?
marilyn MON-roe
HAHAHA are these ‘philanthropists’ for real. “goooood eeeeeeevening..” LOL. I hope Rick blasts those two some of his patented ZINGERS!
I have such a girl crush on Michelle Williams.
I want her headband.
Eeessh, I hope God’s not watching! :-/
Wait, Ricky Gervais is an atheist? WTF?!?!
That was so shocking my monocle flew off.
ricky’s right you guys, that joke about his agent and god DID need to be done.
I love Soookie’s hair!
Oh my god Joey’s there!
Is Paula Patton high?
She just gets regular Sex Therapy
Kelsey Grammar over Bryan Cranston?
*gunshot*
Kelsey Grammer? Is he still a thing?
As long as we have John Lithgow, he has no right to be.
John Lithgow and Kelsey Grammer need to have a show or movie or just like….lunch together and have it be filmed. So that I can watch it forever.
Kelsey Grammer is timeless.
BOOOOOOOOOOO NOT BRYAN CRANSTON
Congratulations to Mr. Grammer-Boss
Again, Roz is fucking SHUT OUT.
JINX!
Roz jokes are having their moment.
Real Talk: “Boss” is an amazing Book. Realest of Talks
WHEN WILL ROZ GET HER GOLDEN GLOBE???
More like Kelsey LAME-ER! #BryanCranston4life
Bridesmaids has opened so many doors for women that only guys with girl’s names can win the guy’s awards.
Not Game of Thrones? There is no Tebow.
INARA!
Why did Homeland win? Does it have DRAGONS? Or MIDGETS???
Hey, Moonvest was onstage!
No sir!
I hope there are more “Pooping in the sink” jokes coming up, because I’m in need for some serious LOLZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZ
I think Swinton should storm the stage and take control of this ship. I will be the boatswain on the HMS Swinton any day.
She’s super Bowiesque tonight. I love it when she looks like David Bowie.
badideajeans, you’re speaking my language.
Now maybe some of the people I’ve told to watch Homeland will listen!
I wrote a comment about “pooping in the sink” that is awaiting moderation. KELLY HELP!!!
!!!!!!
THANK YOU
Jimmy Fallon is the cutest motherfucker alive!
Agreed. He is adorbs.
Clooney always seems to be barely tolerating whatever’s happening in front of his face.
TWSS
I got all excited to watch this, then realized this is just the golden globes. Wikipedia says I Oscars are next month? I don’t know how I even made this mistake?? Also: feeling embarrassed for Fallon right now.
Oxymoron wars? Shut up, dumb movie trailer!