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7-year-old Maxwell Hinton was diagnosed with cancer, and a Make-A-Wish Foundation style foundation (because I guess Make-A-Wish Foundation is the Kleenex or Band-Aids of cancer patient wish-fulfillment foundations at this point) helped to fulfill his wish of BLOWING UP A BUILDING. He demolished an entire granary in Ohio. Good wish. Good fulfillment. Still not a fan of cancer, fuck that dude, but this is nice.
30-40,000 people came to watch? That is so many people! What a rockstar. That kid is getting so much pussy now. “Hey handsome, did you blow up that granary? What are is a 7-year-old doing in a bar? Who cares, take me somewhere.” I want this kid to debate Colton Burpo on national television. Although, to be fair, I want literally ANYONE to debate Colton Burpo on national television. (Via Arbroath.)
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Huh. I’m not normally jealous of people with cancer.
Boom goes the dynamite!
(Glad to hear the kid is cancer free now.)
next up: max and the chamber of commerce decide to just blow up the entire town, because that way a developer could come along and not have to do anything with the property, they could just build whatever they want. maybe we could extend this program to the entirety of the rust belt!
Last time someone tried that, Michael Landon got caught in the blast, became an angel, and starting hanging around with Victor French.
Granaries are real things? I just thought they were something that people built thousands of years ago. Granted, I get most of my history knowledge from playing Civilization, so I may be wrong on this one.
Well, there goes Erie County’s +1 food/square bonus, along with the food stocks. Maybe they’ll build barracks instead. Or who knows, maybe it was rendered obsolete by the Great Pyramid in Ohio.
At least a barracks would give shelter to those phalanxes they’ve had hanging around since the city was founded, that they don’t really NEED anymore, but it doesn’t hurt to keep them in place anyway.
More importantly, what the hell am I going to do with the knowledge of pottery now?
This deserves so many more thumbs up.
Allison Brown has a little Chloe Cahoon in her, doesn’t she
or
WHAT IS THAT THING KILL IT
Holy fuck, Mac Tonight!
This kid rules. I don’t really have anything clever to say other than that. GG, kid.
And to think I would have blown my Make-A-Wish on meeting some out-of-work actor in a Batman costume.
Michael Keaton?
As a previous resident of Bowling Green, Ohio, this is as close as I’m ever going to get to blowing things up in Toldeo.
I just wanted to say that my dog, Pizza, was hit by a car last night and didn’t make it. I’ve been very sad and this post is the first thing that made me laugh since. Thanks, Gabe.
Well that sucks. This actually makes me sadder than that kid who blew up the building. Maybe YOU should get a wish!
Aww, that sucks man. Sorry to hear.
“mythbusters inspired me to, kid.”