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Last week, McSweeney’s published one of their famous lists that just happens to follow the classic Best New Party Game model: Passive-Aggressive Movie Titles. Good thinking, McSweeney’s. Good party game. So, let’s all pour ourselves a glass of egg nog which is definitely our first glass of egg nog of the day and we have not been drinking egg nog all day HAHAHAHHAHAH don’t be ridiculous this is the first one don’t be crazy, and let’s play this game! As always, I will do the honors of going first, because this is my house, and you have to let me win. (See? I know how games work.)
- I Don’t Know How She Does It, Not That I Care
- Too Fast Too Furious. Are You Even Listening?
- Everyone Says I Love You. Must Be Nice!
- I’m Still Here, If That Means Anything To Anyone
- Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead This Time Maybe
- Something’s Gotta Give, You’d Think, But What Do I Know, Right?
This game is fun enough, I guess. BOOM! Just scored two extra points. Your turn.
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Drive, or Don’t, See if I Care.
Throw Mama From the Train, Why Don’t You
apocalypse now, or later, whichever YOU prefer.
Schindler’s List of a big part of your cultural history if you care at all about that.
Real Women Have Curves, but don’t you think that’s enough roast potatoes?
Hugo, Maybe You’ve Heard of Him?
Dr. Strangelove. or how i stopped worrying and learned to love the bomb, really, i stopped worrying, it’s fine.
It’s All About Eve, But That’s Fine, She’s Nice I Guess.
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Gummo
Captain America: The FIRST Avenger. #stevewinwoodmovies
She’s Pretty Woman #stevewinwoodmovies
I Mean, We Did Buy a Zoo
She’s Gotta Have It, but really it’s your call.
I know it’s what you young people listen to, but it isn’t The Sound of Music to me
#crankyrelativesmovietitles
Stand By Me, Really, Personal Space Is Overrated
Life Is Beautiful, Or Whatever.
Down with Love, says the over-thirty single woman
New Year’s Eh, Whatever
Guys, please wash your own dishes. Your Mr. Mom doesn’t work here.
You’ve Got Mail. Big whoop.
Sense and Sensibility…as if you have any of either
Margin Call Your Mother Every Now And Again Why Don’t You?
Swimming ool. (Notice there’s no “P” in it. Please keep it that way.)
That Thing You Do, Could You Maybe Not Do That Thing?
You would count on me
Well look at you, Little Miss Sunshine.
no please Say Anything
The Graduate, Who Probably Doesn’t Live in His Parents’ Basement
Freddie Figured You Knew…
Mission: Impossible, Maybe For You It Is
I Might Be Aware of Something You Allegedly Did Last Summer.
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Never Bothered to Ask ME, Not That I Mind
I Am Legend, But I’m Sure You’re Special Too
There Will Be Blood, But Don’t Worry About It, It’s Probably Nothing.
There Will Be Blood, But I’ll Clean It Up. Again. No Big Deal.
much better.
The Girl With the Brave Choice of Tattoos.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, If You’re Into That Sort of Thing
When You Get a Chance, Maybe You Could Tell Me What You Did Last Summer?
Forgetting Sarah Marshell is Actually Not As Hard As It Looks
sure, Toy Story 3, if you like to cry your eyes out
Yeah. I’m Sure-lock Holmes: Blame of Shadows
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants that Could Probably Fit Better so do you Really Need that Second Helping?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze, which I guess isn’t much of a secret but these turtles are teenagers, so, I mean, what do they know?
Follow THAT Bird?
“Super”man.
What Dreams May Come if You Were to Show a Little Ambition This Year
Die Hard, If You Want, What Do I Care?
The Dark Knight Rises Whenever He Finds It Convenient
Kill Bill If It Makes You Feel Better
It’s Kind of a Funny Story, I Guess, If You’re Into that Sort of Thing
Pump Up the Volume a Little More, I Don’t Think I’m Deaf Yet
If You Can, Catch Me
One of those Saw movies your dysfunctional generation likes so much
“Almost” Famous, I’m Sure
The Muppets have a new movie for some reason?
The babysitter died. Try not to let that slip to your mom, willya?
Whoops, didn’t read the post. Get off my back, willya?
Gone with the Wind…like 222 minutes of your life
Yeah right, and there’s totally a Hot Tub Time Machine in your backyard.
So I Married an Axe Murderer, what’s your point?
So you’ve just discovered this spiritual group? Oh, sweet Martha Marcy May Marlene
It’s really A Simple Plan, I mean, anyone could do it, even you
Do the Right Thing, but that would require you listening to other people’s opinions, so it’s probably not going to happen
Eastern “Promises”.
I just saw the “super” man comment. Joke thief. Head hung.
The Princess Bride: Because some girls can have it all. Right.
28 Days Later, I finally get my latte.
Yeah, real Funny, People
okay, Your Highness
Indiana Jones, or Michigan, or you know what, just pick a state it’s not important I guess.
Shawshank Redemption, please, if you ever get a second in your busy schedule I mean, because I know you have a lot to do and I’m just in prison so no rush.
Dial “M” for Murder, or just sit there like an idiot and I’ll do it myself I guess.
It’s a Wonderful Life, if you’re into that sort of thing.
The Social Network I might be deleting my account off of soon because no one ever sends me messages. *post*
Milk? Okay, Milk. No, of course I don’t want Scotch.
Return of the Jedi, as opposed to Revenge
Well look who it is, the GREAT dictator!
Yay, just what i ALWAYS wanted, my own private Idaho!
It’s okay if you don’t Let me in, i can’t even feel my feet being cold anymore!
Oh, i see, we have to wait till Batman begins. Take your time Batman, please!
10 Things I Hate About You, But Keep Doing Them By All Means
The Good, the Bad and the She’s Nice Once You Get Past the Well You Know.
There will be blood if you’re not careful
As Good As It Gets? Well, Alright, I Guess We’ll Make Do
Girl, Interrupted, But No Really Go Ahead and Say Whatever You Were Going to Say, It’s Fine
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. But I Guess That’s What People Like Nowadays.
Sarcazmo
V for Vaguely Insulting
Raging Balogna, that’s what your full of!
You’re
The Adventures of Tintin and Not Me Because He Didn’t Tell Me What He Was Doing But That’s Cool I Was Super Busy Anyway, I Probably Wouldn’t Have Been Able To Go With Him Even If He Had Asked, Which He Didn’t
The Note On the Refrigerator Book
Lost In Translation but I’m sure you know where you’re going
Around the World In 80 Days, But You Can’t Drive Across Town For A Visit Once In A While?
The Third Man in Like a Week, Look at You
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? I’ll Tell You: A Black Guy.
127 Hours, It Was More Like 126, But I Guess You Like Attention
What’s Your Number? I Forgot.
Oops. I think this is more of a “neg.”
We Need To Talk About Kevin Whenever You Can Pencil It In
Let the Right One In Next Time
What Do I Know, I’m Just The Help
Friends With Benefits Totally Works For Me, Sure Thing, Uh-huh
Fan-freakin’-tastic, Mr. Fox
Would You Like Me To Show You How To Train Your Dragon?
The italics are broken, but it’s no big deal, don’t get up or anything.
Please Give, No Pressure
I’m sure the stars have no issue having zero say in who wins these “Star” Wars.
I’m Not There, But Go Ahead, Have A Good Time, I Have Work to Do Anyway
Forget Paris. We’ll Just Stay Home. I Don’t Even Want to Go.