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We’re all leaving the “office” early today to attend a holiday party with the boys from Stereogum. In another world (see also: Sliding Doors 2.0) there would have been an actual Videogum Holiday Party tonight with live comedy and fun and friendship for all of us and all of you. That was a real thing that was going to happen at one point! But there were scheduling difficulties and the war on terror, probably, and that never did come to pass. What’s fun, though, is telling you about an idealized, perfect event that will never happen. It’s just fun! All of this being said, dreams and failures aside, throw them on the old dreams and failures pile to be burned with the rest of ‘em, but when life gives you hypothetical lemons that got canceled, make end of day blogonade! (What?! Don’t worry about it. Just drink your egg nog and HUSH.) What I’m saying is let’s have our very own Videogum Holiday Party right here. Right now. We will bring the open thread, you bring the Photoshopped Christmas cards, animated GIFs, ironic sweater ebay auctions, and Secret Santa Facebook pokes. It’s a real party and we’re all invited! (It’s not a real party. That was a lie. But can we please stop second guessing ourselves for once and START having FUNNNN for once?!) Let’s all get under the mistletoe and kiss JUST KIDDING. Can you die from drinking too much Purell? GUYS, THIS PARTY IS GREAT BUT THE DJ SUCKS! Don’t embarrass yourself. Be safe. Friends don’t let friends blog ugh, forget it. Party!!!!
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Christmas party. Not holiday party.
I thought you were a wolf, but I guess you’re all Fox.
you dont have to watch fox news to know that people are trying to steer us away from our american christian traditions
Party!
I’m not afraid to admit that I’m a monster. But you don’t have to comment on every post to know that there’s something wrong with this blog when trolls can comment openly on the caption contest but our gifs can’t openly be admitted to the Ball.
“I am not afraid.” – That One
Oooohhhh…. you will be… you… will… beeee….
Fox has changed their allegiance in the War on Christmas:
Jesus is the reason for the season
Merry happy! Here is a real picture from my childhood for your enjoyment:
Cute! Are you the frightened one trying to get away?
Sure am! In my defense, that Santa does kind of have crazy-eyes.
I’ve actually been told by a few people that I have quite nice eyes. “Soulful” was the word once used by someone not my mom.
I’m not hurt, just disappointed.
I’ve been telling everyone ‘Merry happy’ for the third year in a row, and I usually get confused stares. Still, I soldier on.
[maybe fun tidbit - previously (well post my parents' Jehovah's Witness experiment/my formative years) I insisted on saying "Happy Christmas" because of Pippi Longstocking]
I’ll bring something to drink. Is this ok?
Share!
Of course!
Let’s just have a nip of this, and see one another in the new year -
Well, it’s huge, but at least there will be plenty to go around. I hope you like booze that has deliberately been taken over the equator in boats to make it taste better.
Last Christmas my friend had to pick up his father from some Norwegian party. His father reeked of aquavit and was visibly drunk. At the party, everyone was doing shots and then putting the cups on their heads, upside down, to prove they drank it all. His father tried to stop drinking at a certain point, but the peer pressure was too great to simply say no to a shot, so he ended up pouring shots on himself to satisfy his hosts.
Does your friend’s dad live inside The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo?
is Norwegian Party a euphemism of some sort? Can you tell us the secret, or is a Seal Team 6 type of secret?
Let’s. Get. Weird.
Merry Jesus-Loving Christmas!
pull out the pappy
i would like to offer up kwanzaa as thing to celebrate. its not just for black people anymore
and apparently uploading photos correctly just isnt for me at all
Ha, you won’t remember that you did this but I’m totally going to remind you in the comments tomorrow.
Let’s do this.
It’s Adam and Eve, not Huckabeast and Bald Eagle!
In honor of the party, here is a real life video of me taking a shot. (Before you think I’m a wimp for the face I make at the end, it was a shot composed of vodka, Campari, tequila and Cheerwine.)
Still not as awful as Malort.
I forgot about Malort. Why would someone even buy that? Ugh.
I had a shot of it a couple months ago, but I was already so drunk that I can’t remember what it tasted like, which actually destroys some of the myth. My friend, however, does remember, and he said it was awful.
Noooooooooo! My pet snakes!!!!!!
This comment needs more upvotes.
All I Want for Christmas is Werttrew
#holidaythemedmonsters
What’s a holiday party without a lazy BNPG?
I saw Mommy kissing Polythene Pam.
Frosty the Snowmans
Christrashmas
A Christmas Lorry
It’s A That Onederful Life
Baby Friday It’s Cold Outside
Twas Thisismynightmare Before Christmas
Godsauce Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Joy To The_Wurst
Hanukken Jennings
Tom Sproat Jingle all the way
right, you guyz?
So far I am REALLY enjoying zee Fuhrer’s Birsssday.
*Gabe is our Lee Garner, Jr.
Ok, so I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve really missed the Best New Party Games each week. I understand that it is difficult to come up with a good topic every week, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still really enjoyed them. I’ve been sitting on a BNPG idea for almost a year, waiting for it to be used, but it never has been. So, this being a party and all, I’d like to submit a BNPG for your consideration:
**Arrested Development Movies**
I’ll go first:
The Neverending Chareth Cutestory
The best one will get an internet high five from me. and: GO!
Avatar II: You Just Blue Yourself
Jason Bateman: The Dark Bluth Rises Again
Star War
Children of the Barry Zuckercorn
Children of the Cornballer.
St. Elmo’s Fire… Sale
Mr. F is for Fake
Inside Gob
Definitely Maeby Tonight
Wayne Jarvis’s World
I Am Oscar (Dot Com)
Egg of Green Gables
When Harry Met Sally Sitwell
The Her? Locker
I’m a Monster Squad!
my monster the car
needs more capitals: My Monster the Car
Save the Last Chicken Dance (I am having way too much fun with this.)
Hot Ham Water for Elephants (OK, I’m done!)
now i’m thinking of buster saying ” . . . with a smack of ham!” and giggling.
Dirty Chicken Dancing
Chicken Dancer in the Dark Attic
One Flew Over the Cuckaw’s Nest
I Know What You Did Last SPRING BREAK!
Illusion ‘r Treat
About A Motherboy
This Motherboy’s Life
What About Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog?
You, sir, are a mouthfull.
Million Dollar Suit
Kiss Kiss Bang Banger in the Mouth
Footloose Seal
Les Cousins Desperaux
Homeless Ghost Dad
SON OF A WHORE
I got my grades back from a horrible nightmare class that made me want to drop out of university forever and I got an A!!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS, INDEED!
I once got my grades back from a horrible nightmare class that made me want to drop out of it so badly that I actually stopped going without dropping the class and it wasn’t just one class, it was several, and I still have actual stress nightmares about the experience to this day….
So congratulations, my son! Do not follow in my footsteps! When you saw the footprints in the sand and suddenly there was only one set of footprints, it wasn’t me carrying you. That was me leaving you the fuck alone.
The congratulations are sincere, though, in case that wasn’t clear.
Merci. I almost stopped going too, but others in the class convinced me to stay. The class was great, to clarify, the professor was a fucking nightmare.
Here is my (shameless self-promotion disguised as a) gift for you: http://andysteaparty.bandcamp.com/track/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-you-2
My distribution rights run out at the end of this month, and I don’t think I’m going to pay to renew them, so download away and creep out your holiday party attendees, so it feels like it was worth it!
LOVE Y’ALL!
Click on the link, peoplefaces. Well worth the minimal effort.
No, I am not a subsidiary of the wurst incorporated.
Alright, I’m jumping in too…
Here is my “Very Auto-Tune Christmas”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm0vDrGFAw0&list=UU4A29Qb4oeWBLeQc4mQMPmw&index=15&feature=plcp
thanks spidermonk!
I’ve had your song stuck in my head all day and now I’m listening to it again because having it stuck in my head all day didn’t satiate my need for this song. I can’t think of any higher compliment than that. But if it drives me insane, expect a bill from my therapist.
In the spirit of Parties, Jesus, and Shameless Self Promoting (Because what was that loaves and fishes thing? Original Groupon.) I have a Kickstarter up. I’m sorry. It’s important and relevant (it’s not relevant to anything) but there are cards and things involving Super Mario and Cheeseburger Cats and other silly things I would like to bring to the masses that I think you lot would enjoy and so ok here is the link: http://kck.st/t8HtHE
You can pretend I am the drunk secretary of Videogum, being all inappropriately cleavagy and talking about her “projects” while spilling her Appletini on the tech guy (Facetaco). SO OK THANKS MERRY HAPPY!
For the love of….Facebook Connect got me. THAT’S ME. I’M A VGUM COMMENTER! Not some sort of Facebook-nerd-come-lately. Ok bye.
If this is self-promotion corner, I’m going to throw in a shameless link to my blog, which is kind of like the WMOAT except instead of a snappy summary, I painstakingly recap every scene of terrible movies: http://recapscallion.blogspot.com
I have a blog that I very rarely update, too! Except mine is exclusively TV-related — “sometimes deep, sometimes silly, sometimes funny, always smart!” – Nobody, out-loud, yet, but my friends in their hearts, probably.
Every now and then I write an actual essay/review but mostly I recap seasons of only the choicest shows, even though my readership is made up exclusively of my 3.5 acquaintances. So have at me, downvoters! We all gotta eat just kidding there are no ads, silly!
http://attunedtv.blogspot.com
Remember, If you guys are monsters and want a space to blog or just BS, we at http://www.mobfd.biz/ Have space for you. There’s no pay and studies have shown that blogging takes years from your life, but it’s FUN! You can even cross-blog, and such.
Also, I’m probably starting a Stereogum Twitter List, so if you comment over there, get at me. https://twitter.com/#!/chris_trash
I’m Looking at you, DJ_Freshie, Tom Sproat, H-man, etc.
My twitter be here and while we’re sharing things, I’ve been working on a new EP – its still in editing, but I like posting the songs anyways. They sound fine now. They’ll sound better later.
I’m the worst at self-promotion and I hate it and I always feel guilty when I do it so I’m sorry.
I forgive you.
Merry Trollmas, Steve.
I love love love how interested in Steve you are. No irono.
I doubt I’ll be touched this Christmas more than I’m touched by this (no pedo).
Has anyone seen my coat? I literally JUST put it down
Don’t mean to upset you, but I’m pretty sure people are underneath it. Mentioning no names…
OK friends, the pizzas are here! Now we can party!
Pizza party!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpet67TTVag&feature=related
I dressed up as Santa Paws!!
Let’s pile cute animals under the tree!
I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but I got EVERYONE a little seal pup to sleep on your couch!
Thanks.
Now where am I supposed to sleep?
Hey, the guy who doesn’t know to not bring up politics has finally arrived! “Something something blah blah vaguely racist comment OBAMA selfish rant blah blah 99% drink drink when dad lost his job there was no recession to blame rabble rabble JOBS”
Jobs! JAAAWWBZZ! rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb *deep breath* JAAAAAAWRRRBZZZZ!! Goddamn economy.
I love everyone here and I’m sorry I’m barfing so much while saying this I think the sugar masked the alcohol and I didn’t realize how much oh christ oh god sorry sorry
Who brought the Advil? The best part of a party is trying to piece together the night before.
bloody mary time! That cures hangovers, right?