This week, Steve Guttenberg was given the prestigious award or whatever of getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Congratulations, Steve Guttenberg! Not a moment too late! I loved you in the last Police Academy movie, Police Academy 4, from the year I was born, 1987. Holy moly that was a long time ago! But, yes, sure. I can think of lots of people who deserve a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, whatever that even means for a person, much less than Steve Guttenberg. Especially after hearing about the EPIC ENTRENCE he planned to show up to the ceremony!!! In a TMZ “exclusive” (which I will get back to in a moment), it was revealed that Steve Guttenberg arrived at this ceremony in a cop car. BUT WAIT!! It was ALSO revealed in this TMZ exclusive that he Steve Guttenberg ARRANGED to arrive in the cop car. IT WAS ALL A STUNT! So it’s not like he was arrested in a suit and then stopped at the ceremony first, which is maybe what TMZ is under the impression that everyone else believed? I don’t understand why this is an exclusive story, is what I’m saying. Anyway, so. Steve Guttenberg called the police and asked if they could drop him off at his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony and they said yes. “Caption it, IT’S THE LAW.” – Steve Guttenberg, Police Academy 4, 1987

Comments (77)
  1. “…I’d like to thank the Police Academy…”

  2. When reached for comment Michael Winslow just made a bunch of onomatopoeic noises

  3. It’s only a matter of time before the first GuttenBurgers opens up…

  4. three men, and a little lazy, gabe….

    • When reached for comment Gabe was like my name isn’t Kelly rabble rabble

      • Then after hanging up the phone, Gabe resumes applying his lipstick and eye shadow. He turns to the mirror right as the song “Goodbye Horses” reaches its climax. He lifts up his robe to reveal that he is doing the tuck.

  5. There is no award the Stonecutters can’t influence.

  6. Who gave Steve Guttenberg… a star?

  7. Kelly was born in 1987? But that means…

    *starts counting on fingers*

    …fuuuuuuck.

  8. The LAPD has instituted a new one-shift-on-Occupy-LA-duty and one-shift-on-Guttenberg-transpo-duty policy to keep their officers’ lives more balanced.

  9. The world has finally recognized that Steve Guttenberg was only in 4 of the 7 Police Academy movies.

  10. It Takes Two to win a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

  11. Pictured: Your parents’ Michael Cera.

  12. “This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me since Party Down catering put on a play at my house” – Steve Guttenberg

  13. He’s a hack where the fuck is my star?

    • True story – I once saw Johnny 5 perform the Star Spangled Banner before a game at Shea Stadium. Amazingly, not my lowest moment as a Mets fan.

      • I would pay 5 bucks to see Johnny 5 perform anything at a local venue. I would need assurance it was the real deal, not some knock-off ‘bot. But as long as I knew it was really him…really, they could program him to juggle, it doesn’t matter. He should go on tour with Deerhunter. Deerhunter f/ Johnny 5. Great tour. “Tour of the millennium!” – Rolling Stone magazine.

  14. Tackleberry (not pictured)

  15. Steve Guttenberg got a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame?! Wow, someone out there must have a…

    *puts on sunglasses*

    … short circuit.

  16. Anyway, I thought Steve Guttenberg moved out of town.

  17. I Guttes to get paid.

  18. “the male strippers were cheaper than renting police costumes. that’s LA for ya.”

  19. “It was a good thing he had his own cops with him… because otherwise he might get arrested, for trying to steal someone else’s star, you know ’cause everyone would be all like ‘whose dad is that guy and why is he stealing a famous dude’s star?’.. and their friend would be like “dude I don’t know”.. haha”

  20. “She was born in 1987 when A Different World was in its first season, she died blogging on her couch–she’s an astronaut.”

  21. Now if you’ll excuse me, these Hot Cops(TM) are escorting me back to the Blue Oyster Club, my favorite bar. Smell ya later, holmes. Doooouche Chiiiilllll…

  22. I’m sorry. Who is that man?

  23. So this is how it is. The innocent suffer, the guilty go free, and truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable. …There is neither a Santa Claus, nor an Easter Bunny, and there no angels watching over us. Things just happen for no reason, and nothing makes any sense.

  24. “Most famous for his guest starring turn in an episode of Starz Channel’s short-lived ‘Party Down.’”

  25. “Who makes Steve Guttenburg’s star?”

    “We dooo, we dooo”

  26. Even his girlfriend from Cocoon returned from her home planet for the ceremony.

  27. he was in “party down”, ‘nough said

  28. He was also in CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxrCMA3k6rc

  29. Oh hey guys wait THIS is the clip I meant to link to:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIeTgKZvadk

    It’s four minutes of a *very* fresh-faced Steve Guttenberg (looking sorta Andy Samberg-hot, y/n?) rollerskating through New York to a disco beat. And if it doesn’t make you happy for the rest of the day, then we really can’t be friends.

  30. Steve Guttenberg: Cool! This is a pretty good day. I like being liked.

    That is my caption and I stand by it.

  31. “I fucking hate Steve Guttenberg”

  32. Party Down!

  33. Gigantic Humans – Steve Guttenberg and Members of LAPD – Overtake Los Angeles, begin ripping up the walk of fame

  34. “Uhhh…..Steve who??”

  35. Does this mean it will be replaced by a Star of Matt McCoy in five years?

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