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This week, Steve Guttenberg was given the prestigious award or whatever of getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Congratulations, Steve Guttenberg! Not a moment too late! I loved you in the last Police Academy movie, Police Academy 4, from the year I was born, 1987. Holy moly that was a long time ago! But, yes, sure. I can think of lots of people who deserve a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, whatever that even means for a person, much less than Steve Guttenberg. Especially after hearing about the EPIC ENTRENCE he planned to show up to the ceremony!!! In a TMZ “exclusive” (which I will get back to in a moment), it was revealed that Steve Guttenberg arrived at this ceremony in a cop car. BUT WAIT!! It was ALSO revealed in this TMZ exclusive that he Steve Guttenberg ARRANGED to arrive in the cop car. IT WAS ALL A STUNT! So it’s not like he was arrested in a suit and then stopped at the ceremony first, which is maybe what TMZ is under the impression that everyone else believed? I don’t understand why this is an exclusive story, is what I’m saying. Anyway, so. Steve Guttenberg called the police and asked if they could drop him off at his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony and they said yes. “Caption it, IT’S THE LAW.” – Steve Guttenberg, Police Academy 4, 1987
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“…I’d like to thank the Police Academy…”
When reached for comment Michael Winslow just made a bunch of onomatopoeic noises
Not to be confused with Carl Winslow, who was also there, no thanks to Steve.
Upvoted for spelling onomatopoeic correctly.
It’s only a matter of time before the first GuttenBurgers opens up…
Given my rudimentary knowledge of German, it already exists…
three men, and a little lazy, gabe….
When reached for comment Gabe was like my name isn’t Kelly rabble rabble
Then after hanging up the phone, Gabe resumes applying his lipstick and eye shadow. He turns to the mirror right as the song “Goodbye Horses” reaches its climax. He lifts up his robe to reveal that he is doing the tuck.
There is no award the Stonecutters can’t influence.
Who gave Steve Guttenberg… a star?
The Ancient Mystic Society of No Homers was unavailable for comment.
Kelly was born in 1987? But that means…
*starts counting on fingers*
…fuuuuuuck.
holy shit you have more than 20 fingers you are a mutant
“you are a god amongst insects.” – magneto, talking to you
holy shit. Steve has 20 fingers.
No, I was talking to “r2d2 esq” who is able to count from 1987 to 2011 on his fingers. You really dont know how to read comments written in english all that good do you, guy?
Steve, it’s really hard sometimes to tell if you’re pretending to not understand what someone is saying, or if you really don’t understand.
I was counting the difference in our ages, a task for which I have just enough fingers. Though I am intrigued by your twenty finger idea and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I was in high school…
The LAPD has instituted a new one-shift-on-Occupy-LA-duty and one-shift-on-Guttenberg-transpo-duty policy to keep their officers’ lives more balanced.
The world has finally recognized that Steve Guttenberg was only in 4 of the 7 Police Academy movies.
It Takes Two to win a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Pictured: Your parents’ Michael Cera.
No. Not at all. And this is why…
Excuse me?
PERFECT REPLY OF ALL TIME
agreed, my vote for best comment of the week. literally just watched that episode again last weekend. good episode.
More than you’ll…never know
He was always hot. From Diner to when he ran through central park pant less a couple years ago.
“This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me since Party Down catering put on a play at my house” – Steve Guttenberg
He’s a hack where the fuck is my star?
True story – I once saw Johnny 5 perform the Star Spangled Banner before a game at Shea Stadium. Amazingly, not my lowest moment as a Mets fan.
I would pay 5 bucks to see Johnny 5 perform anything at a local venue. I would need assurance it was the real deal, not some knock-off ‘bot. But as long as I knew it was really him…really, they could program him to juggle, it doesn’t matter. He should go on tour with Deerhunter. Deerhunter f/ Johnny 5. Great tour. “Tour of the millennium!” – Rolling Stone magazine.
Tackleberry (not pictured)
Steve Guttenberg got a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame?! Wow, someone out there must have a…
*puts on sunglasses*
… short circuit.
Nailed it.
That’s What Steve Guttenberg Said After Every One Of His Performances
Steve Guttenberg got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?! Looks like Johnny Five…
*puts on sunglasses*
… is still alive.
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Anyway, I thought Steve Guttenberg moved out of town.
I Guttes to get paid.
“the male strippers were cheaper than renting police costumes. that’s LA for ya.”
“It was a good thing he had his own cops with him… because otherwise he might get arrested, for trying to steal someone else’s star, you know ’cause everyone would be all like ‘whose dad is that guy and why is he stealing a famous dude’s star?’.. and their friend would be like “dude I don’t know”.. haha”
I hate these people so much.
I see you there in the corner highlighting something for no reason simply to have an excuse to not look at them.
“She was born in 1987 when A Different World was in its first season, she died blogging on her couch–she’s an astronaut.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, these Hot Cops(TM) are escorting me back to the Blue Oyster Club, my favorite bar. Smell ya later, holmes. Doooouche Chiiiilllll…
I’m sorry. Who is that man?
So this is how it is. The innocent suffer, the guilty go free, and truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable. …There is neither a Santa Claus, nor an Easter Bunny, and there no angels watching over us. Things just happen for no reason, and nothing makes any sense.
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D’OH! Corrected before I could correct myself!
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And by “”there no angels watching over us, I meant “there ARE no angels watching over us.”
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I liked it better the first way. It got the point across, AND it made Steve Winwood upset for some reason.
Actually. I think both versions would have achieved this same result, so it’s all pretty even.
I was actually referencing my correction of facetaco’s kimmel/fallon mix up in Today’s Links, but I guess it was a pretty obscure thing to reference. Considering that the time stamp of my correction trailed Steve’s comment by about 40 minutes, I was hoping it was apparent that I was not being serious. A pretty obscure hope on top of a pretty obscure reference. Oh well.
She’s pretty… obscure.
I got it. You’re not alone. You. Are not. Alone.
“Most famous for his guest starring turn in an episode of Starz Channel’s short-lived ‘Party Down.’”
And season 2 of Veronica Mars.
Both shows created by Rob “No I’m Not In Matchbox 20″ Thomas.
But most importantly, as the father of an Olsen twin/love interest of Kirstie Alley in It Takes Two.
“Who makes Steve Guttenburg’s star?”
“We dooo, we dooo”
Even his girlfriend from Cocoon returned from her home planet for the ceremony.
Hot.
he was in “party down”, ‘nough said
He was also in CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxrCMA3k6rc
Oh hey guys wait THIS is the clip I meant to link to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIeTgKZvadk
It’s four minutes of a *very* fresh-faced Steve Guttenberg (looking sorta Andy Samberg-hot, y/n?) rollerskating through New York to a disco beat. And if it doesn’t make you happy for the rest of the day, then we really can’t be friends.
Also in this sequence: Steve Guttenberg’s hefty package and shapely butt on display in tight white jeans. I KNOW.
I just bookmarked that so I can open it in case of a bad day. That was amazing.
It’s even more amazing on the big screen. When you’re high. Or so I’ve heard.
Steve Guttenberg: Cool! This is a pretty good day. I like being liked.
That is my caption and I stand by it.
“I fucking hate Steve Guttenberg”
- Great, isn’t it? Ian Spankler. British. Got it for three hundred right before he took off.
- Three hundred dollars?
- Three hundred thousand.
Party Down!
Gigantic Humans – Steve Guttenberg and Members of LAPD – Overtake Los Angeles, begin ripping up the walk of fame
“Uhhh…..Steve who??”
Does this mean it will be replaced by a Star of Matt McCoy in five years?