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The final animal video countdown of November on the final day of November. Ah, what does it mean! Nothing, I think! Absolutely nothing, it’s just how the calendar happened to work out. I don’t know why you’re always trying to place bogus meaning on insignificant things, especially when we have lots of very significant things to derive TRUE meaning from, like a duck stopping every time a human in front of it turns around, or dogs licking laughing babies. They’re both probably consciously doing it to entertain us! AND IT’S WORKING! The duck probably thinks that the human in front of it would get a real kick out of how it was stopping because it probably thinks that the human is thinking that the duck thinks its invisible when it stops moving. Right? CLASSIC, easy-to-understand fun duck logic. And the dog licking the baby is probably doing it because the baby lives in a home where the parents let it get licked in the face by dogs all the time using the logic that “a dog’s mouth is cleaner than human’s mouth,” but the dog thinks that that’s probably not exactly correct and anyway humans don’t go around licking babies all the time so what does it even matter. So it saw that the camera was out and this is basically a cry for help. RIGHT? Watch the videos and then see if you think those two interpretations are correct. SEE YOU IN DECEMBER, ANIMAL VIDEOS!
10. Stealth Duck
9. Kitten Mesmerized by Aquarium
8. Rat and Capybara Go Swimming
7. Puppy Sneezes On Command
6. Dog Licks Laughing Baby
5. Pianist Paul Barton Plays To Blind Elephants
4. Octopus Walking On Land
3. Girl Reunites With Her Dog After Being Apart for 6 Months
2. Porcupine Eating Corn
1. Dog Rides On A Bicycle
Hahah, YES! Dog riding on a bicycle, I wish I could give you BETTER than first place. It doesn’t matter how many heartwarming videos featuring real human emotion are in the countdown, you are number one forever and ever until we all die and the Internet is forgotten. Congratulations! Congratulations to you too, Porcupine. I had absolutely no idea that those were the kind of sounds you made. THAT IS FANTASTIC! It’s maybe surprising that you got placed above the little girl crying about getting her dog back, but this isn’t the top 10 tear-filled reunion videos of the week! IT’S THE TOP 10 ANIMAL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK! And we see your dog for about three seconds. That’s why you get number three. For the number of seconds there is an actual animal in your video. Great job. Octopus walking on land is the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen and even though it’s about 45 minutes long, I watched the whole thing and I don’t think I even blinked. Sooooooo. The rest of them you can figure out for yourselves, I think. The huge dog licking the baby is obviously really great, probably better than number six, but again we were faced with the problem of TOO MUCH of the cuteness coming from a non-animal. Oh well. Sorry, baby. Gotta be fair, this is an Interent institution KNOWN for its fairness that you’re dealing with. So. YAY CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE!!!!! Love you, dog on a bike!
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Oh my god, that dog on that bike is the best dog on a bike I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Fuck a tiny dog in a basket or whatever, this dog is the best one, at least until we can get a whole litter of puppies riding in a basket and maybe also rolling all over each other? That might be pretty good. But seriously until that happens, this is the best.
“Fuck a tiny dog in a basket.”
-Superglue
Doesn’t it sound like Teddy Bear is saying “Beat it bitch”?
what? no pedobear?
Ooops, Kelly, I think that rat video was supposed to appear in the Top 10 Evolutionary Abominations Videos story.
I could watch that sneezing dog all afternoon. Not sure my boss would appreciate that though.
Why are those poor Elephants blind??? What happened to them? That one on the end? His ear is all torn up.
I stopped by to be sure that the porcupine made the list, and got suckered into watching the girl reunite with her dog, and now I’m a dusty, dehydrated pile of bones because I can’t stop weeping.
sorry to be a critic, but that kitten was barely even mesmerized by that aquarium.
Guilty of mislabeling for sure. A more accurate title would be:
“Kitten Mesmerized by Aquarium Faced With Harsh Reality of Fledgling Depth Perception & Motor Coordination”
This week’s Top Ten leaves me with a lot of questions. And one statement.
1. Why is no one telling that baby to be nice to her dog?
2. Why did that man choose to play the piano to blind elephants?
3. Where was Holly for 6 months?
4. Is there a Rosetta Stone program for porcupine-ese?
5. I seriously love capybaras. There is one that visits my library every summer with a petting zoo and he is the best.
Argh. Damn you facebook.
NOW WE KNOW THE TRUTH
you just got OZ’ed!
pro tip: once oz’ed if you log in and comment, you are revealing yourselves. if you pretend like it never happened, you are just a random commenter and nothing more.
I know. I just couldn’t help myself…
but then you cant build up your “videogum image.”
That’s right. I’m trying to build a reputation here!
Look I’m having a really tough time with things today, everyone. I mean, on the one hand, we have a porcupine with a voice that is amazing in every single possible way. That voice…my god, it’s like all the angels in heaven and Mel Blanc had a baby and the baby had a golden voice that could soothe my tired soul. I want to marry that porcupine’s voice, and I don’t even like marriage and I don’t even think that porcupine has a lot of prospects, but whatever.
Then again, that dog is ON A BICYCLE which, if you have a close look at my checklist for a perfect video:
Two observations about video #3:
1) I like how they turn the tables in this one. This time, the person is WAY more excitable than the dog.
2) I like these “dog reunites with owner after X months” videos, but the truth is, my parents dog goes absolutely nuts whether you’ve been gone for six months or 20 minutes. Doesn’t really matter to dogs. I think they think every time you leave, you aren’t coming back. That’s what makes them awesome.
I lorried when the girl and Holly were reunited. Did anyone else?
Dogs reuniting with owners (especially with soldiers, oh my god) make me cry every time, and I have no shame in admitting this. Because it is beautiful and sweet.
Also, a good friend of mine is legitimately afraid of cephalopods evolving/walking on land and taking over the world in our lifetime (she’s generally very intelligent) so I enjoyed sharing the octopus video with her this week.
Burmese mountain dog got robbed.
So… do you think those piano keys were made from real ivory? Awkward…
Octopus on land doesn’t deserve to be on the same list as all these cute, trustworthy mammals. It’s interesting, of course it is: it is interesting because it is important that our human militaries have accurate intelligence on the cephalopod menace. Don’t be fooled into thinking they’re cute, just because they can carry their own crab snacks with them on adventures – this makes them even more dangerous.
Don’t let your guard down, friends.
Well, there goes my appetite for porcupine soup. Why must all the animals in the animal kingdom be so cute… and delicious?
Oh, and doesn’t that giant rodent in the swimming pool belong in a fireswamp or something?
True story: i asked my mom if she’d ever heard of a capybara and she responded ‘They’re Rodents of Unusual Size, right?’