Photos
Over the weekend, Bill Murray ran into Barack and Michelle Obama at a Tigers-Beavers game at Towson University. You know how it is. Pretty typical Bill Murray/President of the United States stuff. Can’t throw a rock in that arena without hitting one or the other, and then you’re pinned to the ground by the secret service because you can’t just throw rocks in there, the President is in there! What were you thinking? The obvious thing to caption in this photo would obviously be Bill Murray, as he is the one who’s face we see, and whatever he would say would probably be funnier than whatever Michelle Obama would say, no offense, Michelle Obama, your ladyship. Then again, you could caption the President and feel like a real Hot Shot. But the thing that I’m most curious about is WHAT WERE THE BASKETBALL PLAYERS SAYING when they realized BILL MURRAY AND ALSO BARACK OBAMA AND ALSO MICHELLE OBAMA were at their game?! Probably just “whoa.” That’s probably it. Unless you can do better.
The winning caption will receive the Presidential Special Mention in this week’s Congressional Monsters’ Ball. (Image via TheDailyWhat.)
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“You’re not Muslim? No one will ever believe you.”
Tigers and Beavers, living together… Mass hysteria!
“gunga-galung…gunga galunga”
Bill Murray: [Coughs] Mr. President, what could I do for this cough?
President Obama: Shit, I was just thinking about that. Check this out: you get some hydrogen peroxide…
Bill Murray: We got that for cuts and stuff.
President Obama: …take fifty percent hydrogen peroxide, fifty percent water. You gargle with it. Do *not* swallow. You spit it out. Don’t swallow, Bill Murray.
“Hey, fella, Do Not Swallow is MY line, guy!” – Bill Clinton
The First Family *is* just like us, always having bizarre chance encounters with Bill Murray that only people on the Internet will believe.
Everybody was curious about what he said, but he just leaned in close and whispered into their ears as the music swelled and it remained a mystery forever.
“Leland Palmer killed me in the CDC in Atlanta FYI.”
So glad we could get more mileage out of this guy.
“…so I got that going for me.”
“i am here at the urging of Canadian Parliament, lobbying on behalf of one Dan Akyroyd. Please do Ghostbusters III.”
“I am here on behalf of Dan Akyroyd, working independently with tertiary support from alien worlds. Would you like to buy some skull vodka? You can use the skull as an ornament on your desk when it’s done.’
“He slimed me”- Monica Lewinsky about Bill Clinton’s ghost in Ghostbusters III
“I did not have spectral relations with that woman” – Bill Clinton’s ghost
Don’t cross the streams.
“No way! Wrestlemania! How did you know? We’re gonna be in Pittsburgh anyway!”
Obama: What an incredible Cinderella story! This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack at Towson University. Eh? Eh?
Bill Murray: ::shakes head::
“I suggest bringing back the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle. Sure it looks like a Winnebago, but it’s ideal for weekend trips to Czechoslovakia.”
This was not supposed to go here. But I used to have Stripes and Caddyshack on the same VHS tape as a kid so it kind of works, too.
not really
You’re a jerk, Winwood.
Awww. Winwood is special. Like the Olympics.
But also a jerk.
But he’s *our* jerk. And, deep down, we love him.
Fine, yes, I’ll grant you that.
Lighten up, Winwood.
Iz you rilly a wolf?
If you look at this picture long enough it looks like Bill Murray is moving his mouth.
yeah, i got nothing too…
“You wanna know what I REALLY said at the end of Lost In Translation? Well I guess you are the President… I told Scarlett Johansson that I had naked photos of her and I’d post them on the Internet if she ever appeared in a shit movie. I woulda put them up quicker but it took me a year to get around to watching Iron Man 2.”
No funny caption, but this happened like 5 miles from me and I am distraught I wasn’t able to witness it.
bill murray went to my high school. i have friends who’s dads were classmates of his. #humblebrag
“So re-election is tough, I’m sure. And in ’08 you had all the kids rally around you, right? So what I’m saying, is show up announced at a slew of parties around Brooklyn half-drunk and a little stoned. Hit on some girls in their mid-twenties and maybe sing a couple songs. After that, you’ll be a legend.”
Isn’t that the plot of Bulworth? Ugh, that movie.
This is almost too politically savvy. I have unmasked thee, Chick Deney!
“yeah, i read that too…i knew charlize theron when she was a kid. she wuz hot but she a bitch.”
“…so it looks like you’re still gonna be the only black guy ever nominated.”
Obama: “So two Garfield movies. What’s up with that?”
Bill Murray: “So the budget crisis. What’s up with that?”
*Both lower heads in shame*
“Garfield likes lasagna.”
Your choice of who says this.
Obama! Obama!
MRS. Obama….then she babbled on for 30 minutes on how she grows lasagna in the white house garden.
“Mr. President, just remember, no matter how low your approval rating gets, you didn’t star in even ONE Garfield movie, let alone two. Your reputation still has a fighting chance.”
he said he only did the garfield movies cause he thought it was the coen brothers, true story
And in his defense. If it had been the Coen brothers…!!!
On a similar note. It would be a great business strategy to pretend to be the Coen brothers and travel around Hollywood convincing mega popular slightly senile actors to star in low budget ridiculously poor movies.
“I’ve been looking for decent stuffed pizza for awhile too. I ordered it online once, but it just comes soggy — even with the dry ice. And is it worth the Fed Ex cost? I’m not sure. Basically, I just wait until I’m back home.”
(All my conversations with ex-Chicago residents always come back to stuffed pizza and whether or not you can even get it where I’m living at the time and/or should we do a group order since the FedEx charge is the same for 1 or 58.)
Whoops, seems like the downvoting gremlin is back again. Well, I enjoy your info about Chicagoan pizza obsessions.
“Thank you for bringing our Hoops home” – J.R. Smith/Wilson Chandler
“Well I guess there’s a *chance* your guest bathroom is haunted by Eleanor Roosevelt, but I’m really not an expert.”
“I just read that Arrested Development IS coming back. Glad to see you read my sign.”
President Obama: “Bill? Bill Murray?? Bill Murray, I thought that was you!”
Bill Murray: “President Obama?”
President Obama: “Bing!”
Bill Murray: *punch*
I wanted a Ned Ryerson joke, and this is a good one.
Yep.
“Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs, and take them down.”
“You won’t get Congress to agree on anything. Didn’t I teach you anything? Never cross the streams.”
“You two ever hear of this thing called the internet? I guess people see me on there from time to time and I’m AWESOME at it.”
“We really enjoy your earlier comedies and your career-rebounding dramas, but there was certainly a down-period in the 90s where we didn’t even bother to see your films because they looked so juvenile. Nonetheless, you are one of the rare celebrities who somehow manages to appear down-to-earth in spite of their immense fame and fortune. And, yes, ‘career-rebounding’ was meant to be a basketball-related pun,” The Obamas said, in unison.
The president is coming to our town to speak tomorrow, and my son got himself a ticket. Laaadieeesss?
“Is this lady with you guys?”
Barack: Well, what do you mean by WITH?
Michelle: GOD, we’re getting divorced.
Barack: Cool. Cool cool cool.
Bill: Hey baby.
Barack: You’re still pointing at her when you say that.
Bill: Yes? And?
The Tigers-Beavers game is the perfect place to take a vacation from your problems.
Everyone at Towson was thinking, “At least we’re not the University of Maryland football team. Huzzah!”
“Bill, listen to me. White men can’t jump.”
“i was in ‘space jam’, so yeah, i pretty much invented basketball” – bill murray
I’d like to talk to that woman in the background, because apparently there is something even more interesting happening just to the left of the POTUS and FLOTUS and BILLMURRAY.
“Oh, Gosh, giant robotic Garfield being ridden by Giant robotic Abe Lincoln. And they’re giving away free cups of kombocha? OOOOOOoooh.
GHOSTBUSTUS
What you can’t see is that she’s turned the camera perpendicular to her body so she can take sneaky pictures.
Mister President, if someone asks you if you were born in this country, you say YES.
“I have to be leaving, but I won’t let that come between us, okay?”
Does anyone else remember when garfield was actually relevant? I’m pretty sure my first email was something like chunkylover53@garfield.com.
Serious question: why does Garfield hate Mondays? I never understood that part. It’s not like he has a job.
He hates Mondays because Monday is closely associated with The Moon via its linguistic derivation. As he deliberates on his bed of dream-lasagna, it reminds him that there is a cycle to everything, a rise and a fall, a diastole and a systole, a going-forth and a retreat, a la the tides. No-one enjoys being reminded of their own mortality, especially when they have too much time to think about it.
Barack: “You’re Bill Murray! Bill Groundhog-Day, Ghostbustin-ass-”
Bill: “Shut your fucking mouth.”
“Yeah, I was in the shit.”
“back off, man. i’m a scientist.”
- Bill/Barack
So…mac and cheese?….-Bill
Obligatory Jay Leno joke:
“Both Murray and Obama also love golfing. Yeah, yeah. When asked what they were both doing after 2012, one replied, ‘Retiring and golfing around the world.’ The other said, ‘Making the new Ghostbusters.’”
Slam dunk! Hole-in-one! Kevin Eubanks ginning ear-to-ear! Sports!
“You might think you had everyone fooled with that NBA lockout red herring, but you didn’t fool ME.”
“Larry’s not white, LARRY’S CLEAR!”
“I know it comes as a surprise, Michelle, but that wasn’t a real gopher in Caddyshack.”
LIES! LIAR!
“No one will ever believe you.” – Murray
This deserves all the upvotes!
Murray: “Yeah, sometimes I google my name too…”
“Will you guys please do your fucking job, PLEASE.”
“take dead aim on the rich ones. put them in cross hairs…and take them down. just remember. they can buy anything. but they can’t buy backbone. don’t let them forget that.”
“Don’t tell anyone you saw me”
“You can trust us Bill Murray”
“Serious delirium”