Photos
“Winter Is Coming,” right? You just cannot go anywhere these days without hearing that age-old maxim, “Winter Is Coming.” Just a classic. So true. Anyway, yes, winter is coming, which is obviously a complete disaster. Chapped lips, runny noses, coats that aren’t even warm enough at all, endless darkness, no reason to wake up in the morning so you just stay in bed and hope if you keep your eyes closed tight enough the entire world will just disappear and leave you alone forever — GROSS! Just a real nightmare. Luckily there are a few bright spots in the season, like something, something else, and then scarves! Ooooh, scarves! Fashionable AND functional, but soooo boring. How many ways can you think of to tie a scarf, for instance? One? One and then you’re wondering if tying it into a noose counts as a second option? Well, I will allow tying it into a noose to count as a second option, but you really shouldn’t be so down in the dumps about all of this. I know we had some fun before, talking about how big of a terrible endless nightmare wintertime is, but there are some good things about it! Like scarves. Did we already talk about how scarves are one of the good things? We did? Eeeeeshh, well. Did we talk about how there are about a million different ways to tie a scarf, and there’s a video after the jump that shows you how to do all of them, even though it misses a few key ones that I will explain after the video? No? Well, great!
A very impressive and very pretty tutorial but, like I said, it DID miss a few key looks. Allow me to explain:
- The Full-On Mummyface: Get two scarves and tie them together. Have a friend help you wrap them tightly around your face, tighter, tighter, until you reach your hair. Have your friend tie the scarves into your hair.
- The Sticky-Uppy: Get a lot of glue. Wrap a long scarf around your neck, leaving lots of excess scarf on one side. Put a lot of glue on that side of the scarf and hold it up in the air until the glue dries. Does the scarf stick up in the air? If the scarf doesn’t stick up in the air, get some more glue and some popsicle sticks or whatever you can find. Glue those to the scarf. Does it stick up in the air now? If not, jesus christ. I don’t know then, just figure it out.
- The Belty-Tie: Tuck a scarf into the front of your pants, then bring the scarf up to your neck and tuck it into the front of your shirt. Looking good, lady!
- The No-Scarf: Wrap your scarf around your body, under your clothes. Tell your friends that you can’t wait for them to see the new way you learned how to wear your scarf. When you show up and one of them says, “Hey, I thought you were going to be showing us the new way you learned how to wear your scarf?” you say, “Oh, yeah. It’s under my clothes.”
- The Tongue: Roll your scarf up into a ball and put it in your mouth.
Yay scarves! Winter is coming!!! (Via ViralViral.)
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 Gwyneth Paltrow Is “Freezing Her Ass Off,” And “A Fucking… |  Necky Says, “Scarves Are For Assholes!” |  No Scarf Problems For Us This Week, You Guys | “CNN Interviews Tornado Hero Who Happens to Be Wearing a… |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
I like to wear my scarf around somebody else’s neck. Because I am a man, and real men don’t wear scarves.
“Scarves are for fags.”
Not cool, That One. That implies that fags can’t be real men. My discrimination is based entirely on gender, not sexual preference.
No, that wouldn’t work at all, the scarf would catch on fire.
WAIT. Do Americanians know that “fag” is a slang term for “cigarette”? Oh boy, you guys just missed out on a top*-quality joke** if you don’t.
*slightly-below-middle
**pun
“When I miss your lips, I’ll put a fag in my mouth and think of you.”
?Actually, that was HER scarf. As you can see, she has me trapped, and is currently attempting to eat my face.
The living room fort: Because seriously, some of those scarves were essentially bedsheets. So let’s get down to business.
Because everything is better when it’s pizza:
*RIP Gangy- She died of accidental straggling *
Where does the video show you how to make the scarf billow in Zack-Snyderesque slow motion when you put it around your shoulders?
Now I am really embarrassed about all the scarf wearing googling I did last weekend.
In my defense, I had just watched inception, and Ellen Page looks so cute with her scarves in that movie, and the best I could come up with on my own is the “looks like she is wearing the lobster bib from Red Lobster”.
I’ll show myself out and wallow in my shame. It is what I deserve.
I think we could party, lilbobbytales. And by party I mean get drunk on wine and go online shoe shopping.
What time should I come over?
Any time! (Well after 5 so we don’t get in trouble.)
I am so there, and I’m bringing sangria.
Can I come too? I will bring cupcakes. And a list of links to online fashion tutorials.
Yes!
Those weren’t scarves, they were NECKERCHIEFS!
If she’s so cold why doesn’t that model just put on a sweater.
Kelly, keep on having those opinions about winter and expressing them on this blog. I love them. I love your sentiments about winter.
Oh, and I forgot to mention the scarf ideas and instructions made me stifle my laughs as I sit at my cubicle. The ‘Belty-Tie’ is uber-inspired, and the way you abandon your instructions for ‘the Sticky-Uppy’ was what caused my self-stifling-of-laughs to occur.
So if I didn’t already make this crystal clear- I think I’m in love with making light of winter culture because I hate winter SO MUCH.
Yeah the Belty-Tie did me in.
Kelly! Don’t be so down on winter! Maybe it’s because I’m having MY FIRST FALL IN SEVEN YEARS, but I’m totally enjoying* this dip below 70 degrees. I am drinking not-iced coffee and I’m wearing a big wool sweater and I get to snuggle with my dog in front of a fireplace. It’s kind of amazing.
*If Portland gets any colder than 40 degrees AT ANY POINT, I’m going back to Los Angeles. Fuck the seasons. Fuck the trees. Fuck being happy.
I understand your excitement right now, on November 9th, but believe me by the second week of December you will be all, “Fuck winter right in its snow-hole” with the rest of us 4-seasoners.
Oh, I know. I’m in a giant sweater, scarf, long underwear and a hat. In my office. And it’s only in the 50s. I will be typing in gloves by the end of the year. Actually I know I will because I did it last week.
I should probably turn the heat on.
“the backbreaker”
Hey rad, is that an inspired use of the pizza scarf as your avatar? Or…hey, wait a minute…..
Herman Cain?
Nah, this is just some piece of pizza I drew.
Imagine there’s no pizza. Imagine I didn’t use wikipedia to try and understand why you said Hermy Cain.
“Ok Luke, we know you had to carve it up and sleep inside to keep from freezing to death, we get that and don’t blame you. But did you really have to put that ridiculous scarf around it? Also, what’s with the mannequin head?”
She had The Infinity on there twice! That’s only 24 ways to wear a scarf!
Yeah… I watched it… I’m really bored at work, ok!?
I know — what’s the difference between “The Infinity” and the “DIY Infinity”? Was that some kind of test? Did I pass?
Yes, and your prize is….a scarf.
Holy crap, this is awesome, thanks for sharing!!! Whenever I wear a scarf I can’t get it to look right, so I’ll def be following these instructions!
I just don’t understand why there’s 2 “infinity” ones though haha…one is “Infinity”, and one is “DIY Infinity”…pretty sure they’re the same things
Holy crap, this is awesome, thanks for sharing!!! Whenever I wear a scarf I can’t get it to look right, so I’ll def be following these instructions!
I just don’t understand why there’s 2 “infinity” ones though haha…one is “Infinity”, and one is “DIY Infinity”…pretty sure they’re the same things
is this second comment your DIY comment?
Hahaha!!! Nah, I submitted the first one and it didn’t show up, so I submitted a second time and I guess they both showed up. Very funny though
I’ve been doing “The Toss” for years and never even knew it – thanks Videogum!
where’s “the doctor who”?
this needs more upvotes.
I totally didn’t find this informative in any way……….
The Soviet loop hang you?