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One of the worst things in the history of things is when someone tries to talk to you in what they think is “your language,” because it’s never “your language.” It comes out sounding like a mean joke, and that’s how fools get dropped. In our continuing efforts to put an end to fake rap, we take another look back at the origins of the worst musical genre in the history of musical genres as a stark reminder of how little progress we’ve made, and how much work there is left to do. Today’s fake rap comes from the El Paso Police Department (huh?), circa 1992 (the golden age of fake rap). It’s a cautionary tale about a “gangster” named Big, and it is the worst.
I cannot stress how much I want you to sign my petition enough. Thanks for the tip, Ashley.
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So, just to be clear, are you an absolutist on this policy? I watched “Lazy Sunday” the other day and it still holds up.
There are exceptions that can be dealt with on a case by case basis.
You’re welcome, Gabe, because this video really is the worst, even when the cop rapping in the disco-strobe lighting looks like Brandon Flowers.
This video made me so happy. I’m from El Paso and I never trusted the cops. I think this video explains part of that perfectly rational choice of mine.
Man, there are so many amazing things about this video.
The best is that the jury has somehow acquired a collective ego and has gone insane with power. “Death by hanging. The jury RULES!!!!” But it’s closely followed in awesomeness by the cop rapping at a funeral. A little boy was shot, and the cop sees it as an opportunity to practice his flow.
(i am fully aware that i am misinterpreting everything and i don’t even care)
If you trace fake rap’s history all the way back to 1989 you’ll find now-Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter and several other prominent Philadelphians indulging in some predictably bad beats:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQRBJwTsk_Q
Is it wrong that I enjoyed this on not just an emotional level, but on a musical one too?
Thank you! And yes that is me “fake rapping” and by the way the gangsters name was Vic not Big (to rhyme with quick). As far as the other disparaging comments about my mad skillz, I think my disclaimer that I am not Vanilla Ice, nor was my posse not 2 live crew, speaks volumes. But hey I was a cop not a rapper and besides that was the shit in ’92….
MC Brick
The ultimate in fake rap:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajAAJ5h_o0I&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR8qtxts1jY
how about this gem from the bbc comedy show Look Around You
Fake rap is awesome. Why would you want to end it?
More classic sports fake rap, circa 1988 – Arizona Wildcats:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58zSZjbxt-o
Pretty hilarious…
This is hilarious. I grew up in El Paso (Central) and can tell you first hand that EPD on numerous occasions exhibited their gross crookedness. They mines well be Jaurez police.
This is hilarious. I grew up in El Paso (Central) and can tell you first hand that EPD on numerous occasions exhibited their gross crookedness. They mines well be Jaurez police.