Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 by 19 Comments

Today at 1PM ET/10AM PT, Twilight stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner will become immortalized in real life (finally) when they put their handprints and footprints in the cement outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. NO DOY! From our newspaper of choice, The Hollywood Reporter:

The trio’s hand and foot prints will be immortalized outside Hollywood’s legendary Chinese Theatre during a Nov. 3 ceremony, inducting them into an elite club of just over 250 members.

250 people?! That is not a lot of people! Luckily these three people are super good and I would never suggest that they didn’t deserve to put their hands in the cement outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre so when aliens invade our planet 100 years from now they’ll know what size Taylor Lautner’s hands were, but holy moly! What an elite group. But I’m sure you all knew this was happening today, correct? You’re all already there to witness it for yourselves? And if you couldn’t get there for some health reason or whatever you’re having a party at home? Right? GUYS! Hellooooooo, guys? Are you telling me that you haven’t planned your party yet? Are you fucking serious? I’m sorry. I don’t like to curse normally, but this is absolutely insane. Our generation’s greatest actors are putting their mark in the actor cement and you’re not even going to throw a party about it? Give me a break. Luckily you still have — if you’re reading this at 12:30– half an hour to throw something together. YOU CAN DO IT! Here are a few things you’ll need to do: 

  1. Create and send invitations to 50 of your closest friends.
  2. Buy decorations: Candles, a Hollywood sign, portraits of vampires, framed posters of each of the stars, fake spiderwebs, a recreation of Bella’s wedding dress & a mummy statue to wear it, a few full sized wax figures of Taylor Lautner, lots of lipstick, bags of fake blood, glitter.
  3. Buy snacks: Doritos, milk, red food dye for the milk.
  4. Dress up: Buy an evening gown or a fancy tux, depending on which if those is a more attractive option for you. Wear it and also wear a tiara + vampire teeth in your mouth. Also do your hair and makeup so you look as much like Kristen Stewart as possible. If you don’t look anything like Kristen Stewart, print out a photograph of her and then use it to sculpt her face out of some of the wax from one of the wax Taylor Lautners and put that on your face.
  5. (Make sure you include on your invitations that you want your guests to do the same.)
  6. Get cement and put your face in it.
  7. Greet your guests.
  8. Make everyone be super quiet.
  9. Either watch the live stream of the event here, or just observe the occasion with your head down in the cement in silence for one hour.

SEE?! That is going to be a snap to throw together, so please get started already. You’re giving me a lot of anxiety. I can’t believe you waited until now to do this.

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Comments (19)
  1. R2D2, Esq.  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +14

    “Doritos and milk? What kind of hostess did I raise?” – Kate

    Reply
  2. djfreshie  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +9

    Depends on what’s happening on the internet.

    Reply
  3. Bubbles  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +1

    Look at who else has handprints: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_handprints_in_front_of_Grauman%27s_Chinese_Theatre

    This year alone has seen Jennifer Aniston and Alvin and the Chipmunks (?!) besides the Twihard Three. Ugh.

    Reply
  4. Steve Winwood  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +3

    Kristen Stewart is pretty, in a pouty faced bratty kind of way. I think she should be allowed to do anything she wants.

    Reply
  5. Rara  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +9

    Well, I put my face in the milk and drank the cement. I hope you’re happy.

    Reply
  6. topknot  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +5

    Shouldn’t I get them a wedding gift? Anyone know where they are registered?

    Reply
  7. explainer guy tries again  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +1

    i hope they put the new kids on the block over with the New Kids On The Block….over in some dark corner somewhere in the “passing fads” section.

    Reply
  8. gatheraroundtheoakentable  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +6

    I’m not sure, but more than likely it will involve having sex with my wife.

    Reply
  9. scooterbeanbag  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +1

    I bet Lucy Ricardo would be jealous she didn’t wait around 56 years to lift these footprints.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKJW3dgFpV8

    Reply
  10. heimaey  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 +4

    I’ll be FINALLY giving birth to that vampire baby that’s chomping on my innards!

    Reply
  11. eyes0fmarz  |   Posted on Nov 3rd, 2011 0

    I wish they’d put their faces in the cement. And stayed there.
    I know that sounds harsh but watch Twilight and then you’ll understand.

    Reply

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